ARMIES

Boy wouldn’t life be simple if everyone was in the army? Just would be cool with wearing all those great uniforms.

Course riding around in tanks would be plus too. But that is providing they don’t get weird on you.

Yeah really have to wonder on this whole army deal. I mean all that marching and junk. I already know how to walk.

And that is not a way I want to spend a day. So perhaps they could cut us some slack on that part.

I do like the idea of free housing. Shoot they even have those tents so you can like camp out if you want.

Course I ain’t one to really want to do much of that stuff. I mean nature is okay I guess, just wish you could enjoy it indoors.

Plus there is that problem of shooting. Oh blowing up junk is cool. A good way to get rid of stuff you don’t like.

Now that would be alright, but not sure I like the idea of lugging some gun around and then having somebody shoot at me. A person could get hurt that way.

Which ain’t cool. I don’t think my behind would look good with a bunch of holes in it. Nope that s not a thing I enjoy.

And I would think that they could work on this a little. Yeah surely they could like make sure to fix this.

Yeah maybe instead of guns they could like pass around something such as cans of whipped cream. Shooting those would be fun.

Plus it would taste good too. Yeah that would be so much more fun than way. And would be really different.

But then you do have to understand that all the drilling would get some kind of crazy. I think the sugar would help.

At least would mellow people out a little to me. Kind of hard to get some to agree I guess.

Oh well I guess that is the part with Armies you could work on. Hmmm perhaps if I was like a general I could fix it.
Wonder if they get to drive the tanks?

STEAM ROLLERS

I’ve been wondering about these. I mean why would anyone need to roll over steam? How do you even do it?

Maybe this is just me. I just don’t get it. I mean what did steam do to deserve to be clobbered?

Seems like a far question. You just can never say what would steam be thinking. I didn’t even know it had mind.

I guess it is dangerous and I didn’t know it. Yeah some things are sneaky that way. Really is creepy.

I always figure you know that steam was basically cool. Oh you see it like coming out of the gutter on cold days.

And maybe off some pot of boiling water. But shoot didn’t know it would end up causing any problems.

Guess you just can’t be too careful. I mean there is no way of knowing when it might just go nuts.

Well this is another of those deals where you just have to ask what is going on. Really did this happen on purpose?

Can’t help being concerned. Really I sure want to be aware if I have to worry about this. Just need a warning.

Maybe like they could figure a way to make tea pots take care of the problem. Yeah they always seem to have steam to whistle.

Now I guess there is a way to do this. Yeah some hardware store might know. They should know about such junk.

At least I would hope so. However you can’t say for sure. Just you know might be some secret.

Yeah it would be just like them jerks to figure a way to mess us all up on the thing. Definitely not cool.

Hmmm, maybe I could like sneak in there and check without them knowing. Yeah that would be nice.

I could fake it somehow. Maybe talk about boiling water or something. Then move on to the important stuff.

Hope those rollers aren’t too hard to spot.

No More

Yeah this is no fun. When something sucks all the time it just ain’t cool. And you sure need a point to say forget it.

Man you can be sure that I don’t have a problem with that part. Really will be so happy if that ends.

There are just the times that really are the pits. And so you want to make them end in some way.

Now I wish I didn’t even know any times like this. Really are not my idea of a good time.

What we have to do here is to be able to really make it all be something that doesn’t drive you nuts. Too much of that going on.

I don’t know I have given lots of thoughts to way that will improve this. Yeah I can think of lots of good options.

Getting others to agree can be hard. Some want it to make sense. And I think that sucks.
Because it don’t work good that way.

But then you know the problem is that nobody wants to be ready to make this a deal they change. Like it is fun.

So I need to take time to be able to inspire others in a good way. That is what I call it, inspiration.

Now I learned that word from Otis. He is the one that tells me how this is helpful even if I have trouble with it.

Now what makes it hard for me is that I can’t like get all excited about seeing some jerk acting like a jerk. I prefer my bat to make him stop.

But Otis wants me to bore them to death with talking. Yeah that is no help from my view.

Still Otis keeps saying it works. I guess if he talks long enough people are just happy to get him to stop talking they will do anything to not have him keep talking.

He thinks it is because they like what he says. But I know they just are like trying to not hear him any longer.

I just let him keep doing it. Saves me from buying new bat as often. And that is good I guess.

Well till I can bash them when he is not looking.

I BELIEVE

Yeah, yeah this is cool stuff. Well it is to me. I sure do love it when I can be able to say what I think.

Only sure is hard to find those who want to hear it. They would rather have you listen even if their ideas are lame.

Now what I want to do here is to take the time to be able to make it all a deal where it makes sense. Seems fair.

What I want is to be able to talk to some dude who is sane and doesn’t see monsters all the time. Sure would be nice

But it don’t happen. Seems like all I ever do is mess with strange types. And it sure ain’t getting better.

Oh I am trying. Yeah been looking for new friends. The type that I can talk to and they will listen.

I mean I am a writer and know lots of junk. Which is so cool. And I can sure come up with some smart stuff.

Now the big deal here is to find the other smart people all the ones who can be so dang good and figuring out junk. We can have a great time.

Yeah that is so great. And it is amazing all the good places you can find them. Really all over the place.

Just not in the ordinary ones. I tried like the libraries and forget it. Them dudes only wanted to believe books.

So this where I take the time to check out the really smart places. Like the DVD store. Oh man really smart dudes are there.

Yeah I really need to make this happen. I think those guys there understand life better. They know about aliens.

Yep that will always be so important. Because we know in them movies they are everywhere.

Well so how come we don’t seem them more? Because they are so dang sneaky. Oh yeah that is important to know.

I love it. Now we have moved on. To the places where we can find so much find time to learn the truth..

Like about wrestling. So dumb those thinking it is fake.

ONE MORE TIME

Sure so wish we had more of these. Times when we get a chance to fix some real bone head move.

Oh man would that be cool or what? Yeah talk about a good deal. Well only problem is that it doesn’t happen.

Well not enough. I mean really would be so cool if you could just have the time to like fix things.

Now the big chore is to do it in away nobody knows about it. I mean you don’t want any witnesses.

So the way we handle this is to take the time to figure a way to simply fix it with the easy method. One that could erase junk.

Yeah that would be the best part. A chance to like make it all better. I heard one of my teachers say that a lot.

But then you know she didn’t have the same idea with this as me. I mean with her it meant extra homework.

And let me tell you this sure did not come out as I wanted it. Nope not in any way. Just you know like other options.

I think the part I want is the no feel stupid afterwards. Yeah that would really not work for me.

So they way I figure is I need some special time of deal like the government has that always is able to make it better. They sure seem to do it a lot.

At last to me. Not sure it works that way for others. But when you deal with the government types it is great.

Well I don’t know just have to see I there is a way to make this something we all can do. I was thinking like a memory deal.

Only not sure how you get one. I know I am figuring it would be great to have one. Maybe they got one on the internet.

Yes that would be a good deal. Well at least to me. Hmmm, wonder I they have a site that offers it?

I don’t know, but sure would be fun to have it work that part. I really just imagine it could happen.

Not sure when though.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "Does DVD stand for Don't Vocalized Dispute? Worked that way at rental store for me."

WHOLE

Oh yeah you got to enjoy this. Have all of something is cool. Like a whole pie. I like that.

I was wondering though about that crazy stuff. Such as when they mention a whole chicken.

Do they like have a time when they are to tiny to be whole? Do they like fall apart for some reason?

I mean chickens are strange anyway. All that stuff of wearing feathers and clucking when they want.

And then spending time laying eggs. Which people eat. Do you realize where that egg was?

Well guess it doesn’t matter to some. And I guess eggs are used in a lot of stuff. Some of it even good.

Like in those deals called omelets. Yeah those can taste pretty darn good. Really are nice.

Well course I bury my in ketchup. Don’t like to take any chances. Might just be something in those eggs.

Just figure it is good to be safe in that regard. No way I want something in that egg that came from a chicken’s butt that I wouldn’t want to eat.

But you know it is very important. Yeah it is always important. Just need to be sure you don’t mess up on that one.

After all you just never can be too careful when it comes to junk like chicken butts. Not a good idea to ignore them.

See that is what the whole deal is about. Just don’t let them sneak that part in on you. Sure ain’t cool.

Now that is why I am like giving this whole deal a lot of thought. I mean are them whole chickens much different?

Really do feel it is important to know. Well it is for me. Maybe not others, but I think so and that is what counts.

Meanwhile I will just do what I can. And that will be same as always, Nice when you can do that.

Been trying even without a whole in my head.

PARTS

Guess I am hung up on bits right now. Maybe it is just the weather or something. That is what Otis calls it.

But he says that about so many things it is hard to make sense how it applies to all the stuff he mentions. Still parts are good.

Providing they work. Which is kind of important with parts. And sure seems to matter a whole lot.

But sometimes you just have to be like so very careful. I mean some jerks out there got strange idea of parts.

See the problem is they think it all is okay. Like any old part will do. Which ain’t a good option.

So I like to double check the parts. Which can be kind of hard with some people. They want to make you buy it first.

On they use some part number. Like you can be sure it is right. Really I tried that once, but it so lame.

I mean they use this really long number and all and never makes any sense. I mean the number can be longer than the part.

But then I got smarter on that part. Learn not to be suckered in by all those darn fakers. The one that mess with you.

Yep that really sucks. And I do have a part for them you can be sure of that. A very well expressed one.

Makes me so darn frustrated when it happens. People are so crazy at times. They can really drive you nuts.

And I know for one that I’m not falling for it. You can be sure when it comes to parts I don’t mess any longer

Oh well I wonder if it can all be made to work out without a gripe to it. Yeah that really bugs me.

And I will fix it too. Going to buy extra parts from those I can trust. Just have to find them first.

I’m sure they are out there. Not everyone can be such a jerk about parts. Hope not, but can’t say for sure.

Yep, really is important at least I hope so.

APART

Well this individuality stuff can be kind of confusing I you ask me. I mean it sounds good I guess.

To like teach you how can do things for yourself. And I think that is cool. I don’t mind it at all.

Only think that bugs me is when you have to depend on them for something. Oh they make it sound like you did it, but you are still stuck.

Personally I want something more sane. I want people who don’t get this all confused and stupid.

I really hate when it comes out like that. Just drives me nuts. Because you can be sure they won’t tell you.

See this is just so dumb. Oh you can be all gun ho to do something because you think it will be great.

Even better when they say you are in charge. Only you find out that you are like a charge card and they are sending you the bill.

Now where is that a good option? Not to me. I mean I like doing things for myself, but not being billed for it.

Well that is the part that sure didn’t work for me. And you can be sure I want to change it.

Which means not letting those darn creeps get to me. If they want to get me all excited on this deal then fine.

Just don’t sneak in later with a bunch of rules that you say I have to do before it can work. That sucks.

Oh well no pleasing some. Yeah they are really not going to cut me some slack. So I will do what I can to not let them get to me.

Now to do this I have to like make sure that I just don’t get suckered in by this stuff. And that is only fair.

Well hope I can avoid this. Just no fun when it happens. But you know you can’t help it. Really sucks.

And I will do what I can to be sure I make it all work for me. Sure would be fun to avoid.
And I will just do it best as I can. Maybe just do it someway.

TOGETHER

I think together really is good when you can it by yourself. Yeah that really is a good option.

Only too many just make a big deal that together means you have to do it with somebody else. What a stupid idea.

I mean really you know I have to question that part. I just think it is okay to have buds, but they can still be buds when they are not there.

This together stuff really bugs me. I don’t care how much they are a pal, no way I want them in my stall when I’m using the bathroom.

See that is all part of the silliness. Just got too many weird types out there who are so crazy on this subject.

Like over at STINK the other day. Somebody decided it was a good idea if we like did an outing together.

Now that would have been okay if it meant something cool. But see they didn’t ask us where to go.

Somebody else figured that part out. And sure didn’t do a good job of it if you ask me, which they didn’t.

Now don’t get me wrong you know. Parks are a good thing. Well can be at least. So I didn’t mind that choice.

Only problem is that you know I didn’t see this deal where they voted on what we did there. And that was not cool.

Now I don’t know I guess picking up litter is okay. And having more than one to do it is also good.

And maybe it was cool too that they wanted us to do it together. Kept calling us a team, which is okay.

I think of teams as something to do with sports. So you know I kind of was looking for the game part.

Didn’t end up that way. Got into lots of arguments on the trash. And that didn’t make it fun at all.

So you know it was one case I think we would have been better if we did it all alone. Then we would have all won.

At least could have claimed it.

PROFESSIOAL

Now I know how this is suppose to be about people who are paid for doing junk. And that is cool.

Only thing somewhere in it there is this idea that when you get paid you are also good at something. Wish that was true.

But from what I have seen it isn’t the case. Nope, not all. I seen lots of clowns get paid for messing stuff up.

Really you got to wonder about it. I mean I guess it makes sense they get some bucks for doing junk, but shouldn’t they do it right?

Course there are the ones who just always take the time to get rich doing junk even if they are crappy at it. Yeah that sucks.

Sure can’t keep them from having their chance to enjoy life. Just wish I didn’t have to pay for it.

I mean I don’t care if some jerk is charging to do junk, just at least actually do what you are paid for. Yeah give me a break on that part.

But then you never know when they might surprise you. Yeah that can happen. Maybe not when you want it but sometimes.

I just want them to not be nuts. Yeah that would be nice. Only not sure that is going to happen.

Well not that I can tell. And that bugs me. I mean I want some sanity here. I want people who don’t mess up.

At least not that I can tell. Oh some sure love to bend your mind. But oh man that is just not the same.

So do not like it when they drive you nuts. First in not fixing things, but charging for them.

Now what I’m working on here is a test for these darn professionals. Yeah that really is one thing I want to see.

Only can be so dang tough. I mean you have to deal with them having some you know answer machines.

Good luck on that part. Yeah it really is such a darn frustrating thing to deal with. And I know I want to pass.

All I have to do is fix it. Somehow without a fee.

THE RULES

How come we don’t get a choice in these? I don’t recall anyone asking. Yeah that is not a fair deal.

So I want that to be changed. I want to find the dude who created the rule book and asked what were you thinking?

Sure would like to know. Because so far the only thing I can imagine is this person is nuts.

Yes, sure seems that way. Really has to be the case. I mean they all our nuts from my view.

Most of the rules are just you know dumb. Like some moron got put in charge and is totally insane.

Now I want it to be so dang reasonable. Like make they out to all be something good. And not something dumb.

And let a few others have a chance to make the rules too. Come on that is reasonable. I think I could help.

Now you would have to figure that is not something that works as it should. So you know it can be improved on.

Only not sure that will work out. Because them rule dudes are not always cool about being friendly.

You never hear of them hanging out in fun places. Nope that don’t happen. Not that I have noticed.

What we need is a ruling about the rule dudes. They need help. Really they do. Somewhere they can behave.

Okay now this is the part I need to work on. Yep they need to do this more often. Just to show they are human.

So the deal is to be sure you spend time checking out where a rule dude might be located. I’m guess it would be the courthouse.

Never understood why it is a house. Nobody lives there. I mean who would want to? I don’t think I would.

Have to be sure. I mean that might be where they live. Just keep it a secret. What a joke and not even a funny one.

Nope that isn’t fun, but would love to change it. mya

NO COOL

Well when in doubt cool will always be the best choice. Yep, if I can choose I will enjoy this option.

Course the big pain in the butt is how the uncool people out there always want to mess this up. Yeah that sucks.

I’m not sure why that is. I mean you would think all would enjoy cool. Because it does feel so good.

At least that is what I think. And let me tell you I sure hate to think of why so many get nuts on this.

Just doesn’t make a lot of sense. Like they have to get happy by being miserable. And boy does that bite.

Well I suppose it doesn’t have to. I mean after all it could be okay. But then that would require them to want to do better.

Haven’t noticed that happening. Have seen a lot of things where somebody thought this was good.

I’m sorry, but dull is not a good option. And so far it seems to be the option. Not sure why.

Just keeps going on that way. And let me tell you that is so much other than exciting so forget it.

So the first rule here is nothing cool is boring. No way that works. So you have to avoid the ones that are that way.

It is like over at the library. Now they got some cool stuff there. Like those magazines and books.

And also you can borrow some movies. I like that part. Yeah wish they let you borrow say some popcorn.

But then I guess they would expect you to return it. So that doesn’t work. Nope not to me.

Sorry but what I don’t get excited about is when they have those nature talks. Oh don’t get me wrong trees are okay.

Just not on my list of things you get thrilled about. Unless say they are monsters. Which doesn’t happen often.

Well not to me.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "Dreams are so much fun when you run out of fibs to explain missing ice cream in the freezer.'

OTHERWISE

I sure hate to hear this. Always comes right when you think you have all the facts in life. Only then some clown tosses this in there.

Yeah and sometimes I think they do it on purpose to piss you off. That sounds like the kind of thing you can expect.

But that is okay, I just learned these days to be extra careful. Yep, don’t let those darn dudes at work fool me.

Oh they tricked me plenty of times. Yeah I would be sitting there and letting them tell me how something worked and it would sound cool.

Then they would come up with this otherwise crap. Just to let me know later that this ain’t the prime stuff.

Yep, that is the part that really makes you less than happy. You sit there thinking this is so cool and then find out it is crap.

Well you know you get all excited thinking you got the best of whatever and it turns out to be some cheapo imitation. Yeah that ain’t cool.

Or they like make it so you find out that you were not the first choice for something. How you got the option because the person they liked wasn’t available.

This is suppose to make me happy? It sure don’t. Not in the least. Makes me a little pissed.

I don’t know if you are going to like make it sound good then don’t tell me it was intended for somebody else. That would really suck.

The thing is that you can’t trust these dudes. That is the part, which I will not see as okay and not going to like it either.

Those kinds really bug me. You can be sure I will not put up with that silliness if I don’t have to.

Man let me tell you that is never fun. And I sure wish these dudes would get that right. But sure don’t happen.

Oh well at least I got a tad smarter about it. Really don’t buy it like I once did. Well most of the time I learn.

Once and a while they manage to still fool me. Mainly when it deals with something like food.

Yeah still vulnerable to those condiment substitutes, but learning I think.

Can't Believe It

Oh yeah this is sure a fun thing. Yeah you really need to know about it. Really not the fun times.

Life sure has some amazing times. And so many weird things that happen. Yep, so hard to figure.

But that is okay. Those can be fun too. Now if only you can take the time to not let it drive you nuts.

Because there really is a lot of that, which goes on. Hate to admit it. The most unbelievable junk seems to take place.

And I am working on ways to sort through it all. I mean man those newspapers as the check out stands in grocery stores are amazing.

All the junk going on that nobody seems to know about. Don’t have any idea how they find out about it all.

I reckon somebody calls them. Makes sense. Yeah you can never complain about that part.

Now I want to know is who is the dude that finds out about this stuff? I mean sure must be so dang busy.

After all you just can’t you know in anyway spend time like learning all this stuff overnight. Must take more time than that.

I’m not sure that I want all the details. I mean if you have to like search all over the world then forget it.

Unless they are offering meals. Then it might be okay. Yeah I could handle it then. Well perhaps.

Might depend on the meal. I mean if it is some crummy thing then not interested. You can be sure of that.

I wonder if they give you like some press pass so you get a discount on the food? Hmmm do they have good take out places near such locations?

Sure would be nice to know. Yeah, I could like that. Well the food part would be kind of fun to imagine.

You just can’t say for sure. I mean really just want the facts. And hope I don’t have to work to hard to get them.

You know just safer that way. No fun being like curious if you end up with some pain.

CAN'T BELIEVE IT

Oh yeah this is sure a fun thing. Yeah you really need to know about it. Really not the fun times.

Life sure has some amazing times. And so many weird things that happen. Yep, so hard to figure.

But that is okay. Those can be fun too. Now if only you can take the time to not let it drive you nuts.

Because there really is a lot of that, which goes on. Hate to admit it. The most unbelievable junk seems to take place.

And I am working on ways to sort through it all. I mean man those newspapers as the check out stands in grocery stores are amazing.

All the junk going on that nobody seems to know about. Don’t have any idea how they find out about it all.

I reckon somebody calls them. Makes sense. Yeah you can never complain about that part.

Now I want to know is who is the dude that finds out about this stuff? I mean sure must be so dang busy.

After all you just can’t you know in anyway spend time like learning all this stuff overnight. Must take more time than that.

I’m not sure that I want all the details. I mean if you have to like search all over the world then forget it.

Unless they are offering meals. Then it might be okay. Yeah I could handle it then. Well perhaps.

Might depend on the meal. I mean if it is some crummy thing then not interested. You can be sure of that.

I wonder if they give you like some press pass so you get a discount on the food? Hmmm do they have good take out places near such locations?

Sure would be nice to know. Yeah, I could like that. Well the food part would be kind of fun to imagine.

You just can’t say for sure. I mean really just want the facts. And hope I don’t have to work to hard to get them.

You know just safer that way. No fun being like curious if you end up with some pain.

SURE

This is the absolute pits. Those times somebody tells you sure as in I will do that then they don’t.

Really does bug me. They can’t say no right off. They have to give you hope. Then whammo they go to lunch.

And like I need that? Yeah not on my list of choices. Maybe it is better than say being run over by a truck, but not going to say for sure.

In any case I sure don’t enjoy when this happens. Just not on my list of things I want to have in my life.

So I’m working on ways to improve this. I’m sure there must be a few. And I think I will just keep on looking.

Yeah, there are not some cool places where you want to hear sure when it ain’t. Just prefer too bad.

At least that makes you grumpy. And you can get over it right away. No having to wait to get pissed off later.

Just not sure I want to hear anymore of this confidence stuff where they really ain’t offering confidence. No thanks.

You know I wish that I could blame old rat boy, Junior for this one. But I can’t since in this case it wasn’t his fault.

Only in this case this came from the boys in STINK’s lab. Them guys sure do drive me nuts at times

Really see they give us this new stuff to try out and half the time it doesn’t work. So you end up pissed.

And when you ask them if it is okay, they always say sure. But it never is. And no matter how many times they just keep messing up.

But they never call it messing up. Nope it was a miscalculation. That hardly makes it all better.

Downright sucks at times. Course they always have some excuse. Put it in a nice report. Like that helps.

Still sucks. And then the next time they don’t even remember the last time. Yeah that really is a plus.

Well to them at least.

SIMMER

Oh you just have to hate when some jerk leaves the heater on too long. Man it is so frustrating.

Now the problem is not letting some clown be in charge of the thermostat. I’m talking about the dude who doesn’t know hot.

Big clue is if you are sweating you are hot. Yeah you need to be aware of that fact. Really do have to wonder.

Now the problem is too many are in the situation where their brains are out of control. This really sucks.

But then it helps if you can take care of this. Yeah just don’t take the dude who thinks it is winter in the summer and trust them.

Course then you never know if that will be the case. Sometimes you have the case of the nimnal who is always too hot.

Runs the A/C in the winter. Like could sweat even in a blizzard. This is not a good thing at least not to me.

I think I would prefer to be around normal people. Not sure I know any, but if I meet them cool.

Now the problem is not putting up with the nuts. I mean the ones that totally suck at weather.

Can’t love that. Really they need to take their business somewhere the it counts. Which is not with me.

So I go ahead and don’t take people’s opinions for the subject. Yeah that is what counts. And you got to love it.

But then I am just going to have to work on this more. Yeah have a lot of stuff like that. Too many problems.

Does keep life interesting. And that is the part that makes it so much worth trying. Oh even win sometimes.

But when it comes to this weather deal I sure plan on checking it out. No crazies for me. Just real people.

Now if I can I will do this by checking the real temperature. Call up some weather channel helps.

Just make sure it is in the right state.

LIMBER

Well let me tell you that this really is a weird thing. I mean really if this is like you know something bendable then limber sounds strange.

Too much like lumber. Makes me always think of limburger cheese. Which just plain stinks.

But then I’m not sure this whole bendable thing really matters. I mean they never say how much somebody is suppose to bend.

Hope they never ask somebody like Bugly Ugly Savage. Yeah I don’t think he has any rule on that one.

That gorilla is like nuts when it comes to bending people. They are not suppose to end up shaped like pretzels.

And you can be sure I don’t like it. Nope that really sucks. And I don’t plan on joining his group.

Wish he would you know leave that part to just those who are like wrestlers. Yeah they are sort of used to it.

But then I guess he sort of gets bored with them. So he needs more practice. Just not thrilled when it is some ordinary person.

Nope that is one thing I hope he will not mess with. Yeah nobody needs to be somewhere and have him go crazy.

About the only good deal is when you can distract him. Now that is the best part. And sure is nice too.

Now the best way to do that is to find a small car. He loves to play with them. Yep that is the part that matters.

He like treats them as toys. You know pushes them around, bangs on them. Kind of nice when nobody is inside.

But then if it is, I hope it is Junior. But he drive a limo so not likely then. Yep, I really do enjoy that part.

Well would be nice to imagine. But the tricky part would be to get him into a small car. Hmmm, might put some cheese in it.

Now that gives me something to look forward to thinking about. Yeah I could love the idea.

Well nice to imagine at least.

TIMBER

Will somebody explain this timber deal to me? I mean they say this went the cut down a tree.

But they also say the tall timbers. Which I guess is you know a good thing. And then you make this different from lumber.

Now what is the difference between timber and lumber I can’t say. Unless when it is tall and standing up it is timber and then lying down it is lumber.

Guess this is some kind of secret code for lumberjacks. And how come there ain’t any timberjacks?

Yeah, I mean what if the person is other than Jack too? Seems kind of unfair only dudes named Jack get to be lumberjacks.

I need to like explain that part. Really just not right. I mean I don’t see why I couldn’t have the right to be a lumberphilo or timberbuttercream?

Such is one thing I figure I ought to check on. Yeah that is not something that is to me a good deal.

So I bet somebody can make sense of this. Surely it ain’t some stupid accident. Nope that would suck.

Now the question is where to I find out about this. Hmmm, maybe where they sell lumber.

Thought for the week: "I think it would be great if they had phones in portable toilet for toilet paper emergencies."

Yeah, that would be so great. Only maybe it is like a club. So I have to pretend that I know all about lumber.

Now I guess I need to figure out the best way to do that. Let me think here. Ah I know I can talk about them terror-bites.

Yeah, those bugs that eat wood. I could like say I raise them. And am looking for some place to get some food.

Only not sure what them terror-bites look like. Course they are bugs. Yeah that is what counts.

Well shoot I’ll just fake that part. Maybe collect a few ants and pose them on a dinner table with some salt like they are eating.

That ought to do it. Shoot sounds easy. Guess I will have to say they are all named Jack. That is okay I suppose.

Worth a try at least.

SKILL

Yep this is cool. Really do love it. And for that I will be happy to take the time to learn. And I am grateful if I get the smarts.

Now for me this is when you deal with somebody is really knows how to do something. Not somebody who only claims too.

In any case I have did my best to find when people are like that. When they take time to really be good at something.

Boy this can be tough though. You know there is such a good and wonderful deal if you locate it.

Only problem is that no everyone who claims this really is about honesty. You have to be able to take time to check it out.

So that is when you have to really, really be careful. If you really need to watch the dude do the thing first.

Oh talking is great. Yeah that can be such a big deal. And really can mess you up if they fool you.

And then you get to move on and fine some real help with your problems. Yeah that is the joy you get out of the whole deal.

So that is why I take time to make sure I go over to wherever the person is and see them do what the claim. And they better do it right

Which is really cool and so much fun when it works. I so love when that happens. And let me tell that is so good too.

Now it can be tricky when the person sits down and fakes it. Some are really good at that.

Yeah they can really make it look like they know what they are doing. Then you find out later they were phonies.

Only too late to really do any good. Now as for me that is the part that I get tired of. Those darn people you just can’t trust.

Oh well that is not the part that matters. And that is the part you have to wonder why people waste your time.

Anyway when it all works then it is great. You actually learn from the whole deal and can benefit.

Hopefully it stays that way too.

MAINTENANCE

Oh man this so important. And it would be so cool if they made sense. Yeah really bugs me.

I mean you have such nut things to deal with this at times. I mean you got to deal with such strange dudes.

They call themselves maintenance men. Wear they cool utility belts. Along with all those great and nifty tools.

Now that would be so great if they actually did stuff on time. But they sure seem to take a lot of breaks.

Yeah you got wonder about that part. I really would like that they might do things to make more sense.

I think if they would like take time to show us other people there how to use that stuff it would help. I would be glad to try.

What would be the big deal here? You know toss out some good ideas on ways to use a wrench.

Is this like a secret that will get them in trouble for sharing. I mean we got these maintenance people over at STINK.

Only when something needs work on it they always have to go and get parts. Which means the darn thing remains broken for a while.

And you notice that their stuff is never broken or at least doesn’t stay that way. Nope seems like their junk always works as it is suppose to.

Or if it needs parts you can’t tell it. And that is the part I don’t think is fair. I mean really makes me crazy.

Because you know just ain’t fair. I mean I got important grimefighter junk to do. And that means I need my equipment to work.

Which is kind of hard when they are off on some stupid lunch break and don’t drop by to answer the phone. Heck the answer machine may not even work.

What is worse is when they make you fill out some work order for repair. That is such a pain.

Because they will sit down and take forever to get back to you. Yeah you could be waiting forever.

Sort of like you need a work order for the work order.

INSPECTIONS

Now some crazy person over at STINK decided we needed more of these. Yeah like that makes sense

Now the problem is that when they inspect junk it don’t get better. Wish it did. But haven’t noticed it.

Nope I am still trying to figure out the good part. Haven’t seen it up till now. Really would like to.

I mean honestly would be so cool. To know people were doing smart stuff. Yep that is the part I would enjoy.

Only they never do that. You get all this it is for you safety. Only they never seem to be that convincing about it.

I wish they would try. But so far all they do is just flash that clip board at you with their dumb form.

And then they make it all seem so as if they world is going to end if the inspection fails. Like that will happen.

But sure don’t make them any less willing to act like it is important. And it is like the other day.

They took this one thing we use that has a bunch of buttons. They kind you push. And one of them fell off.

Oh man you would have thought it was disaster. Oh they had to do a report and all then give out copies.

They always have to give out copies. Yeah that really helps. I mean it is such a pain. Really doesn’t’ do any good.

But you can’t tell them that. Nope, doesn’t do a bit of good to say a word. Nope the one thing is that they don’t listen.

And that is the part that bugs me. Because I knew when they get it done it still don’t change how things work.

Now I will not be thrilled by that option. I wouldn’t mind if they made sense. But then when they get done things are still messed up.

I think they need a brain inspection. But that might not work. Might find out it is faulty too.

Then we would have to report them and it would take forever.

STANDARD

Now this is sort of like average or normal. Only well kind of boring. You don’t get to vote on it.

Just put up with it. It ain’t exciting or thrilling. Just part of what you have to accept as life by somebody’s idea.

All I know is it ain’t fun. Yeah you know standard will not make things better. It will kind of bore you.

And if you are lucky you can avoid the times when it drives you nuts. Over at STINK we get standard a lot.

Which never seems to be a good deal. Because most of the time you just end up with something other than satisfying.

Basically standard for us means no extras. None of the good junk. I mean the cool accessories that make you happy.

Oh we get to use the regular grimefighting weapons. But without any pluses. They seem to run out of those a lot.

Yeah, all the nifty junk you like in grimefighting weapons just don’t seem to function all the time. Such a pain.

All I want is to have that nifty destructor wave no on the fritz. I mean just once I want to be able to point that deal at something and use it.

Oh I get to see it a few times. Even hold it. And was told might get to use it too. But dang it every time I want borrow it something happens.

They keep saying the parts are on order. Yeah like I believe that for some reason that batteries our out.

That really sucks. I mean I even offered to buy some. But they still said no. Claims it take some special kind.

Wish they had your know let me give it a shot. I had some great ideas for its use. Really I do.

Will make life so much easier. You don’t have to break down doors. You can go in and blast the whole building.

Yeah I have such great ideas. Sure wish they would trust me on that. I mean I could be so creative.

Just hard to convince some.

ONE MORE THING

Well you can be sure that this happens at the worst times. Yeah, it is always some stupid addition that bites.

And that is because the crummy dude makes sure to not tell you about it till it causes a bad problem. Hate that.

Yeah there sure are some jerks out there. They suck at the good stuff and decide to mess up your life.

And to be sure they do it in a way that makes you extra pissed off. Really not fair at all. Like they care.

Well I know I’m not going to let them jerks do this to me much. Really is so dang evil and mean.

But the best thing is making sure you don’t fall for it. Yeah you got to be sure you don’t let them get away with it.

And that is what will not make things ever better. Because you know they will sneak around and do this on purpose.

Which really bites. And you can be sure I don’t like it at all. Plus they always make a deal of faking it.

Which is never the part where they talk about it either. Nope you can be sure they just don’t admit it.

What they do is wait for that moment when you think things are cool then whammo they mess stuff up. Got that pain of knowing when it hurts the most.

Always ends up being such a joke. Those deals they make up to make your life such crap.

I know that over at STINK this happens to often. I mean when I’m like you know taking time to chase down some bad guy I don’t need any one more thing.

It always is such a stupid thing to. Some rule they forgot to mention. And then you hate it big time.

Well that is the part that I am not going to be happy about. Nope you can be sure that will not work for me.

At least I got a few options. Yeah sometimes I can really make this work so I don’t go nuts.

Oh well the others I just grrr and move on. Hope so at least.

TAKE YOUR TIME

TAKE YOUR TIME

People who say this are big fibbers. They never mean take your time. Oh they claim it, but don’t mean it.

Yeah you got to hate that part. Them jerks always tell you waiting ain’t no big deal and then freaking out later.

Really is such a pain. I mean you sit there thinking all is cool and it ain’t. Not in anyway.

Just really bugs me. And that is the part I would fix if I could. But can’t. Because it just doesn’t work.

And that you can be sure really will not be a good deal. This happens over at STINK a lot thanks to Junior.

I think it is all the cheese he eats. Makes him think weird. And you can be sure that won’t work for me.

But how do you get him to stop? I got my solution, but Otis says no. And that really bugs me too.

Now that is what I am working on. I figure I will try to sucker him with some free cheese.

Then he don’t have to get so dang weird on this time deal. I mean he tells us to take our time doing the work.

Then the next thing I know he is paging us asking where we are. And even if we are there where should be he complains.

And does he listen? Heck now that would be terrible. That would make sense. I can hear him munching on cheese.

Now the fun part is when we are goofing off. Then it gets really tricky. Yeah because Otis sort of freaks.

I mean it is tough to try and tell Junior and some story when Otis is looking cross eyed. Really ain’t fun.

Oh well I sure do try and not go crazy. I wish I could avoid it. But sure ain’t easy at times.

Am getting better I think. And that will be cool. And the fun starts when it all makes sense.

Well that is what I say.

IS IT OVER?

Oh yeah like when you get stuck in some big rain. You sure want it over. And then you move on to other things.

Only problem is not knowing when. Yep, that is the big problem. Can’t just make it happen when you want.

Now what I have to do from that is try and come up with a plan. That is what Otis says you need to do.

I tried to figure that part out, exactly how I get the plan to work. I mean really is important to do that.

Only challenge is not having the way to do that. Oh I don’t mind all the planning, but really hasn’t worked.

Now I have tried what Otis says about going back to the drawing board. Really would be cool.

Except I don’t have a drawing board. I am working on getting one. So in the mean time I got me a clip board.

Now tried drawing on it and did. Just didn’t seem to help much. And then when I wanted to use again didn’t help.

Yeah, still didn’t make the plan work any better. Or easier to figure out. Just was so crazy.

Yeah, really did suck. But I sure did try. And I am still trying. Even took the clip board with me in the rain.

Sort of help as an umbrella. Only when it got wet I could read the papers on top. So that sure sucked.

And I don’t know never did stop the rain either. So really didn’t help much at all. Really sucked.

But I do think I located a drawing board. Well sort of made one. Took a pencil and taped it to the end of this board.

Could write too good with it. And still end up not having any kind of plan. Maybe I just need more practice.

Or get a better pencil. Yeah, now that might help. Guess I need to make a plan too. Well for shopping.
Might work. Hope so.

Thought for the week: "You got to wonder about toxic waste. Is that a fart with an attitude?"

YUCK

I will tell this, yuck ain’t ever good. Oh we might not really be able to take the time to learn every yuck, but should.

Now there are ways to do this that really helps. Only you can’t always be sure some will listen.

Well I sure say smell. Funny how people can be goofy in that regard. Yeah that can be such a pain.

I am working on it myself. But not sure I can get others to cooperate. Really need their help at times.

Which is okay. I mean people do need that kind of assistance. Just not sure what all you can do for some.

Oh there are some good solutions. But then you have to think in terms of more than you know just right now.

People do that. Yeah the really do get less than smart about stuff at times. Really you would figure if something makes you sick to know better.

Wish it was that easy, but sure doesn’t work for some. Not that I can tell. Well that is where I try to help.

Yeah, sometimes it works better than others. Really is a good deal. Maybe not all the time.

Just some times. And I am happy when it works. Providing you get the idea of yucky over so they don’t do it again.

Now for the fun you have to move ahead. You have to know a fart from a rose. And what tastes good without making you sick.

Really ain’t easy for some. Sure have tried to make it all better. Yeah, that is when I have to get it to them good.

Oh my bat helps. Well air freshener too. And then when you get a chance to take time to like bash them.

Gets the yucky across. Not always enough. Have to work on it more. And then when you all are done cool.

Well not sure they always will say thank you. Sure nice when they do. But it is great when it stops.

The smell that is.

TASTES GOOD

Well this better be true. Ain’t no fun when it doesn’t. Really you have to wonder what some people really are weird.

I mean good ain’t that hard to understand. You need some sugar and chocolate even some peanut butter and no problem.

But try to get some to accept that. I mean you really do get some crazy people out there with weird ideas.

Yeah some things just ain’t that tasty. Nope and you can be sure I ain’t going to accept their weird kinds.

They sure can be so dang annoying. Yeah you can be sure it sucks. And won’t ever get any better.

So you end up having to listen to them tell you about of crap about junk they say is good, but it never really is. Which so sucks.

As for me I got a rule now. If it don’t come in a bag, can or box or ain’t fried then forget it.

Yeah not falling for that raw deal again. It really sucks. There just ain’t anyway to justify that kind of thing.

Not to me. And no way I will do it again. Had enough of this try this stuff and it ends up bleah.

No way I want to mess with it. If you need like somebody to test what makes people sick pick somebody else.

I will pass. Yeah, no way I’m going to let you mess up my tummy with some crude. I don’t care if you say it is good for me.

I want to just relax and eat stuff that don’t drive me nuts. Don’t want to eat me in some way later.

Well all I know is I ain’t going shopping anywhere they say this works. Because you know they are making it up.

I think such crazies should be made to stop it. Yeah take that stuff full of vitamins that taste like cough syrup and stuff it.

In my world I want good taste. None of this other crap. They can keep it for themselves. Which is fine with me.
But not going to ask them either.

TID BITS

Okay this tid business is kind of confusing to me. I mean how much is a tid anyway? I haven’t found that written anywhere.

Just kind of you know rather crazy. I mean is there is no way to really be sure. I guess it sort of depends on the person.

But you know I am willing to try and figure it out. Yeah if doing so will make the bit part make sense.

After all is a bit a good thing if you don’t know what a tid is about? Some bit of some tid that is yucky ain’t going to help.

Not so me. And you can be sure I won’t be happy about it. Nope that is not what works for me.

Haven’t found any tid bit experts either. Really not that I have notice. Oh I have asked at times.

But so far not located any. Maybe it is like something where you have to be in a club. Hard to say.

And don’t know where to find the club. That could be confusing too. Would hate that part.

Then they have rules. All clubs have stupid rules. And I bet they are like really dumb and won’t make sense.

Plus you have to wonder you know if all of that will in some way mean you will ever find out what a bit is.

Or a tid. Plus they probably have some kind of dues. Yeah clubs are big on fees. So that might be nice to know also.

But not sure how you find out. This seems like they are secret clubs. Yeah that sucks. You got to have some handshake or password.

And all of that when you don’t know what a tid or bit will be. Really does suck to me and always will.

Oh well I am glad I don’t have to worry about it. I will just stick with jelly beans. They make sense.

And I don’t have to join any club. Or pay dues. Well do have to like buy them, but that is easy.

Oh well guess the tids will work for somebody.

VERY, VERY

This is super good. Not just a very, but very heaven. Er, I guess there is such a thing, well sounds good.

Now what you have to do is find this stuff. Really can be hard. I mean just can be so frustrating.

Now this is the deal I wish was easier. I mean really gets so dang hard to find this at times.

I suppose it would be so nice to make this like something you could get in a store. That would be fun.

So far don’t find a place that sells it and lets you know it is there. Yeah, that is the one thing I wish was explained better.

In any case I am ready to find this if I can. Yeah, now that s the thing I sure will be very important.

And so I am going to try and approach this what they call scientifically. Yeah that is an important word.

Now the big thing is knowing what a very, very really is. Kind of important to be sure you can do that.

So I have given this a lot of thought. And very stuff normally is something you find in stores.

So naturally that is where you start. But then you know it ain’t going to be any old store. Some are boring.

Don’t think there are any verys at say the hardware store. Got lots of cool stuff, but no verys.

And I don’t bother with those places. Gas stations don’t have any verys either. Not that I can tell.

About the best place I can imagine is over at the grocery store. Lots of good junk there. And the sugar ones are already a very.

So you just need to fix them up a little. Now that ain’t hard. Takes a little added stuff to make it work.

Fudge sauce helps. And ice cream too. Yep, really love when that works. And even more so when Otis pays for it.

Yeah that is so much very, very. Enough for me.

WHOSE ASKING?

Now this is really an important question. Yep, you really have to feel it is important to know.

Because some times you get the crazy people telling you stuff. And it can be so unbelievable.

Which is really tricky at times. Because you can get those weird types out there that will never admit who comes up with crap.

So before you got nuts and do something stupid it is important to know who is the moron doing the thinking. Really is important.

Now over at STINK most of the time this isn’t about Junior. Oh I wish it was, but it isn’t.

Instead it can be about some other crazy. Yeah there can be so many. Hate to admit it the other grimefighters sure can be weird.

It does sort of make sense. I mean the problem is that you know they can’t help themselves.

It can happens when you like hang out in the sewer too long. Not that you can help it. The darn griminals lurk there.

And then you also get those times when the cleaning fluids make you do weird things. You just get a little mind numb.

So you have to sort of make allowances. Not always easy. I mean some just will get totally nuts.

So you try to not listen when they are talking to the air. That is sort of a good sign that you shouldn’t listen.

But that is okay. Yeah, I really enjoy it. And you can be sure that it will not work that way in real life.

Well one of those deals you have to sort of hope doesn’t get too crazy. I mean that don’t make life great.

Oh well we do our best to not let it mess us up. Really is a big deal. And I am happy when we can smile.

Course sometimes we remember why. And that is even better. If not then it is even better too.

Since you don’t have a reason to be mad.