WONDERFUL ZONE

Oh boy this is such a cool idea. Some place where it is wonderful all the time. A nice area to hang out and enjoy life.

And I sure would like to find this place. I'm sure it is out there. Just have to know where to look.

Haven't found it so far. But so far I have figured some places not to look. That is the important part.

Because the more places you can know not to look means the more places you don't have to worry about when you want to find the good stuff. Just have less places to look.

And that is okay. I mean it sure does make life easier when you can not worry about some places.

See the problem is that you have to be sure you make a list of the no-no places. Oh yeah that really is a big value.

Well the thing is so far, I sure got a big list started too. Haven't found the one place for the wonderful zone yet though. But sure am finding lots of places that don't fit.

In any case I am doing my best to keep finding the good ones. Yep, that is the part that I will keep looking for.

I have a feeling that it is easy to find once I know where to look for sure. I bet it is out there where I can enjoy once I find it.

Now I've figured that this is a matter of just sorting through what I want to you know take seriously. Like I will be able to you know take that as the thought were I ought to start.

So you know that means asking the question, if I was a wonderful zone, where would I be? I think we need to figure that part out.

I reckon it is some place cool. So that rules out places like doctor's offices and places where creeps hang out.

So that means I got one part of the place ruled out. No creeps covers a lot of things. So this leaves me other choices.

Now what makes a thing wonderful is that it makes you happy. Stuff that makes you unhappy would not be wonderful.

Oh well I will be thrilled to keep thinking till I figure the part out too. Just a matter of time.
Yep, they can't keep the wonderful from me forever.

AGAIN?

Is there some curse at times that makes the worse problems happen more than once? Sure seems like it to me.

Oh man this is not my idea of a good time. I definitely don't enjoy when life sucks and then does it like a vacuum cleaner again.

Now I don't reckon I would object you know if things didn't like happen this way so often. We do try so darn hard at the office doing things right.

Oh I imagine they mean well. At least they keep saying they do. But the problem is they don't quite manage to achieve it.

I do enjoy busting the bad guys. I will admit that part. Just wish that they didn't like have us go out and do the same darn thing when it didn't work the first time.

But they seem to think messing up will work better the next time around. Like we will have amnesia or something over the last bunch of screw ups.

I guess I don't mind the speeches. We always get plenty of them at times. But then you know it never changes the problems.

I think I would be thrilled if it did. I would be happy to have you know the joy of beating up the bad guys in ways that gave lots of smiles.

However, somehow that isn't what happens. Oh we get lots of new plans. I like that part. Just might be nice if they worked.

I suppose that is too much to ask though. Nope I won't even be the way it works. I keep hoping though.

Only so far that hasn't happen. Just get plenty of speeches and new memos. Not sure why putting a memo out there is suppose to fix things, but they seem to feel it does.

Which is really not going to make the day much better. But I do like when we get out of the office.

Then after that we get out on the road. And that is where at least the again has a fun part. Because we get to like truly figure the rest out for ourselves.

Which is the better deal. That is when we move on to the old fast food place. And again have a nice burger lunch.

I always let Otis figure out the again on the explaining. He does that so good. And so far they haven't seem to care.

As long as it doesn't mean again in terms of the cops deciding to give us a ticket for something.

FUN TIMES

Now how hard is it to know that this means fun? At least you would think so from my view.

Oh yeah that is so important. I guess that will always be important from my point of view when it comes to smiles.

That is the one thing I figure is important. I want this to really be about fun. I don't know if that is quite how others view it though.

I guess that is because not everyone views this as fun. Which is the big problem. I will naturally be sure I do what I can to always think in terms of fun.

Which to me is the important part. That is what I will focus on at this point, the whole deal of fun.

I think this really needs attention. Yep, you can count on this being a big deal. As long as I have anything to say about it.

Well for one thing I think the problem is a lack of wisdom. Just too many people have trouble finding smiles.

You know that is kind of sad. I don't think it is all that hard. A smile is a good thing, so you should want them.

But heck if they were easy to find I imagine that we would need clowns with painted on smiles to sort of give us inspiration. Well not to me.

Which is okay I reckon. As long as along the way we get a chance to practice the right to have those smiles.

And I for one don't mind helping out. Shoot seems easy to me to figure out. Just know what is funny.

But boy there sure are a lot that don't seem to know that either. And that is the part that I will try to encourage.

Now jokes can be funny. Yeah they can really make one happy. If you are the one they are about.

Then you can really mess up if you are. But that is okay too. I just would rather try and find that happy regardless.

Guess that doesn't always hold true for some though. Which is unfortunate. But that is okay.
I will give lessons when I have a chance. I won't even charge.

I DON'T KNOW

I hate this answer. Like it is a good thing. Who voted for that? Not me. I like real answers.

Now if you don't know I appreciate that part too. And if you can't always know that is cool too.

But once and a while it is a good deal I reckon. And that is what counts. Just do me a favor and be honest.

Well that can be tough too. I mean when you feel under some pressure to actually tell me some story either.

That is the hard part. When somebody makes crap up instead of telling the truth. I hate don't know, but guesses are worse.

In any case, I do try and figure out this deal on a realistic level. Which means to ask is this person sane?

It sure is nice to know. The goofy ones are the ones that really get you worried. They can be so bothersome.

And that makes it so tough at times. Honestly I do find it so darn difficult to cope with that at times.

But that is okay. I have to move on here and find the ones who say I don't know and really mean it.

Not the ones that say something else when it is what they mean. Man does that suck. I hate that part so much.

Oh well that is okay. I will try to keep them behaving themselves. I might have to resort to my bat at times.

I know that sucks to some, but I think it sure does keep things simple. Well to me. Maybe not to some.

In any case I am working on it. And will keep it sane if I can. As long as that comes out with me getting a real answer.

Oh man does it suck when that doesn't happen. I mean if some clown says I got the answer and doesn't it then forget it.

Boy ain't it amazing how this all sucks at times? I think it is? Well that is my view you understand.

Going to stick with that.

THAT'S FINE

Why do people who say this never mean it? Oh they act like it is no big deal, but they are fibbers.

I've never had anyone say that who really meant it. And let me tell you that sure bugs me when you think things are good and they aren't.

But that is why I don't pay much attention to the that's fine people. Oh well that is what I don't mess with when I can avoid it.

This is not my idea of a good thing. I really get to the point of cringing when somebody I know says that.

I guess there are people out there that mean it. Wish I knew them. Sounds like they would be tolerant types.

Just not sure where to find them that don't disappoint. Maybe they all hang out somewhere together.

Yeah sort of you know figures that such dude would only want to be around other cool dudes. And that is a shame if you don't get a chance to join them.

But that is what I am trying to do my best to find with some people. The real that's fine types.

I sort of thought you know after what the Reverend Anable said about forgiveness the other day he might qualify. But doesn't seem that it turned out to be truth.

You know, I figured that forgiveness would mean you were kind of tolerant of other. You would think so.

But with him about the only time he seems to be fine with stuff is when he like is eating donuts. That makes a big difference in his find-o-meter.

And even though that isn't necessarily find with me, I guess if a few donuts makes him find about stuff that is a good thing. At least it seems to keep him from talking about seeing everyone as going to hell at times.

Yeah, I like not having him say that as much. Not sure I quite understand how God cares about donuts though.

Seems to be okay for the Reverend that way though. Which since he talks to God and all does end up kind decided all kinds of stuff based on donuts.

But I suppose that is up to him and the Lord. And so far he won't say whether something other than donuts is fine though. Have to wait on that part. Hope not too long, before the fresh donuts are gone at the donut shop.


Thought for the week: "How so many people with happy face buttons, don't smile? Can't they see them good?"

OKAY BY ME

The one thing I have learned is that okay by me doesn't not mean okay at all. Oh man you can be sure it doesn't.

I have tried to appreciate how they might have meant it. Just didn't come out that way to me.

And I really don't think that is cool. You know you sit there and ask them if they want to help with something and they say yeah, then they don't do it.

Like the other day at work. Gosh I sure do seem to bring this up a lot, but then I do spend a lot of time there.

Anyway we were suppose to go on this assignment. We do that a lot as grimefighters. So of have too.

There I was getting ready for our assignment. And you know that is always exciting to be on the road against grime.

Well for this assignment we were using a diaper service van. A real cool thing when it is clean.

And so there I was getting the keys from the mechanic and we were ready to take off and it was low on gas. So I asked him if we should get some gas.

That is why he said okay by me. And I asked if any special kind should be used and is said any kind a okay by me.

Well I figured that was a good thing. And made it simple. So Otis pulled into a gas station and I filled it up.

Then the darn thing wouldn't run. And we had to call headquarters to have them come and get us.

I mean I did what he asked and put gas in. But later he said it wasn't what he meant or something along those lines.

Man, no where did he say a word about a specific kind of gas. After all diesel is gas right?

Guess not according to him. Boy did he grumble over that part. And let it sound like I did something wrong.

Oh well guess from now on we will get a van that is full. And that is the best part. As for the diesel I reckon I will keep from trying that again.
You never know when it will help.

THE SMARTS

Now there is the good kind of smarts the yuck kind of smarts. This is the yuck kind. It is the type the has pain.

Not quite a happy time to be sure. But we can survive it. And if we work it right we can do better too.

But the nice thing is if we handle this thing right we get the good kind of smarts. That iw when you know you learn something

Like if you slam your hand in a drawer, it smarts, but you get the smarts of not doing it again, which is a good deal.

Now personally, I don't know, I just wish there was a way to do this in more situations. Kind of as an object lesson.

Yeah, to teach people. That would cool. Only problem is when you teach them with bashing they don't always learn the well.

I wish they did, but they don't. But that is okay, because I'm going to keep trying. By golly it is worth it to me.

I just sort of feel a need to do this. You know, help my fellow man or lady for that matter I guess.

Just make like easier to be sure they got the smarts. And if it takes a little smarter then that is a good thing.

Now all I have to do is convince Otis this is true. He has this funny idea that it ain't a good thing.

I mean like they will forget. I have seen any that do. But then I don't always get a chance to ask the ones that are unconscious.

Oh well I'm still working on finding a way to do that. Maybe a few bat lessons to be sure I hit my target better.

Well that is my idea of smarts. So far Otis hasn't given me the money to go down and practice at a batting cage.

But maybe he will eventually. However, I think he will eventually. At least if I keep bugging him about jelly beans.

Yeah, that seems to get him to listen. Not all the time though. But enough that I feel good about it.

Well when get both jelly bean and a chance to bash.

TAKE IT LIKE A LAMB

Not sure what the big deal is about how taking stuff ought to be like a lamb. Heard some guy talking to his pal and was complaining about something.

His buddy told him to stop whining and take it like a lamb. I never knew lambs were tough.

Guess what with all the time they spend out in some pasture that it works for them. You know to be where nobody saw them being tough.

Course I can understand better now about the idea of counting sheep. I mean if they like punch your lights out you would be ready to count sheep I reckon.

Now I wonder if this means that sheepherders used to be boxers? Kind of makes sense to me.

Gee I guess I will have to be more careful if there are any lambs around. Yep, that sounds like a plan to me.

I don't know, I reckon they could be practicing stuff like boxing when in those groups called flocks. That way they could hide their fighting.

And then I bet there is that part where they like pull the wool over your eyes. Where they like you know spend time doing stuff like making sure you don't know they are doing that.

Makes it easy to knock you out if you can't see. Oh man that is so sneaky. Why them darn sheep are dangerous.

Man I sure am not going to trust them. Oh yeah, they could do lots of creepy things that would freak me out.

What if they got some kind of weird stuff they do with stuff like lanolin. Why heck yeah that is awful.

I wonder if others know about this? I sure would hope we can tell others. Really seems like a good idea.

I guess I ought to start telling people to warn them. Yeah there could be big problems other wise.

Let me think, I know I will go over to the places they sell fleece. Maybe that is a place where they would know all about sheep.

Best to find. Gee, I hope they are part of this whole. Crummy rats selling clothes and then helping sheep attack you.

SO SORRY

This ain't much help if the sorry don't end with I'll fix whatever I broke. Then it sort of means something.

Otherwise it is just a stupid joke in my book. I mean really does it make sense to have somebody say they are sorry if they are going to do something different.

This really bugs me when I hear it from some customer service clown. Those dudes sure don't give much service in my book.

I mean you would think that they least they could do is cut you some slack in attitude if they are going to say I'm sorry. Like bother to remember your real name.

My first name isn't Mr.. And neither is it, "who are you again?" Yeah, right that impresses.

Well let me tell you this, those dang people really suck when it comes to decent service. Heck sorry don't help with I get use to watching some cable show and it disappears.

Like sorry is going to make up for me missing that movie. Hey, that is a big problem at times.

I mean that just ain't cool. Not if you really want to talk about service. As in I get to feel I got serviced.

Yeah, is that a good deal or what? I think so. All I want is a break here. A chance to be treated decently.

Well I imagine my idea of fair and decent might not be the same as those darn jerks. Yeah, I hate that part.

But that is okay, I got my way of getting even. I just take my business elsewhere. Well I sort of do that.

Kind of hard when there ain't any option in terms of you know cable choices. I though of just renting movies.

Only problem is that I have same problem with the darn people over at the rental place are not much better. But you can be sure I don't give up.

I might just stick with going to the movies. Which will work after next month when that manager quits who I got into a disagreement over some popcorn issues. I mean I didn't see any signs say not refills or that you couldn't serve yourself.

Oh well I guess I will find an option yet. Yep, that will be fine with me. I can do that no problem. All I have to do is find a place where they don't remember pass last week.

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

Nice words. Not heard enough, but they sound great. And I sure like to hear them from time to time.

Now the rule is in order to say thank you then you need a reason to be grateful. Somebody running over you with a truck or car ain't on the list.

Nor does when somebody beats the snot out of another person. They don't say thank you for that either.

The thing is even for good stuff you don't always get thanked. Like doing grimefighter stuff.

And also you know being a garbage man. You would think that somebody could leave a thank you card for us hauling their garbage away.

But does it happen, no. And will it happen, forget it. I have tried leaving a few hints though.

But so far they don't respond. Now with you know the deal of grimefighting is even a bigger problem.

Because griminals sure don't appreciate our help. We try to make them clean up their act and they get upset.

No cards of thanks, no that was so thoughtful. Just more of stop bugging me. And that is not gratitude.

Nope not from my way of looking at it. But that is okay. I don't mind. I do try just the same.

Still waiting for that one person to say thanks. Although I reckon it is hard when they are unconscious.

You know it is a drawback to them doing it. But I have a feeling that wouldn't change much even if they were awake.

Yeah, wish it made a difference. But grime folks just ain't into gratitude. Considering they are into dirt, I am not surprised.

However, I reckon that can change eventually. Well I can hope at least. Perhaps it will always be a dream, but I will do it anyway.

Just keep thinking someday a person will smile. And that will make it all worth while.


Well I mean they will smile on their own and not because I forced it on their faces.

BEST AND BETTER

Okay this is the kind of thing where best is good and better is well better. Not hard to figure out.

At least you would think it wasn't. But I guess it doesn't work that way for some. At least from what I can tell.

Now what I am thinking here is that if you have the choice, better is well better. Only it is harder to find.

Not all the time, just you have to be careful. You can fall for that new and improve stuff. Because it is most of the time mainly best.

And that is why they call it new and improved. Because it wasn't best to start with otherwise they wouldn't have to improved it.

But it don't mean it is better. That never is listed as new and improve because they know it is great.

I don't know this is all kind of weird to me. You know just of a big deal I don't understand.

But that is okay, I will fix it in due time. I will figure that part out when I need to. Sure won't buy into this whole thing being a problem.

And that is why I mention it. To help. Because I know how it can make you feel strange at times.

I am glad it ain't a law to know this. Like that would be cool. I can tell you the best way to remember this is that better never stinks.

Because with best it might be new and improved but not better yet. So it could still stink. And that is not cool.

I hat when that happens. Which is too often from what I can tell. And who needs that. Not me that is for sure.

And I hope sharing this helps. Oh yeah it is important. We all need to be aware of how this works.

Cuts down on confusion later. As in when you get best home and have to throw it away when it stinks.

One of has to keep this straight for the sake of one's nostrils. And if don't learn you are in big trouble.
But don't say I didn't warn you.

CHARITY

How come charity only applies to needy people? I was just sort of thinking how it could apply to a lot of other people too.

I mean ain't charity involved with doing good stuff for people? Would it be bad if they weren't poor, but needy just the same?

Now what I was thinking about is with my buddy Otis. He is a great pal and there are times he needs a break.

Isn't that being needy? I thought so. And so I figured I could figure a way to help him out. Do something nice for him.

I thought it was a good deal. And I didn't think it was a big deal to check out ways to help him.

So I went down to this church. You know because they always seem to be the kind of place where they do lots to help needy people.

I did meet this nice man there. Dressed kind of strange. Looked like a long black dress or something.

And talked a little strange. Wanted me to call him father even though he wasn't my dad. So I did wonder about that one.

Anyway he did listen to me explain my buddy needing help. And seemed really interested too.

Now I can't say his suggestion made a lot of sense. Something about having Otis come down and go into this booth.

They doing some confessing. He wasn't very clear on that part. I mean what all it involved.

It did sound important though. Like big time important. And so I did go back and tell Otis all about it.

Only he didn't seem cool about going down and visiting this guy. I don't know why either.

Seemed like the guy was really friendly. Was too bad about his sister. She was really broke.

I mean he kept calling her a none. So I guess that meant she was broke. And must have been that way a lot since he mentioned habits.
Which didn't seem like a good one in some way.

ON DEPOSIT

I hear them talking about this on the television. Some bank has so much on deposit. Why are they bragging?

Like we don't know they have all the money. And we know they are going to share or give it away.

Which I don't see how come they have to let us know they are hiding all that money from everyone. And don't plan on giving it to anyone else.

The other thing I wonder about on this is the deal of what they call interest. It must be pretty dang important there are different kinds.

First is the strange type called APR. Sounds like some kind of monkey or fruit to me. Bet they do weird junk with it.

Then you know they have that one known as compound. Now that sound real complicated.

Sure glad I don't have to figure it out. I think I would expect them to show me what this interest is all about.

Really does sound kind of strange. I mean they have guards and armor truck around as well as what are called faults.

Now I have no idea what having some earthquake fault has to do with a bank, but it don't sound good. Really seems strange.

Oh well I think I will drop by the bank and check it out. Maybe dress like some guard so they will think I'm one of them.

Then they won't mind telling me their secrets. Yeah, I could get me a fake gun and go up to one of those teller cage.

Those have to be the kind who gossip a lot since they are called tellers. And I bet they wouldn't need much to blab.

Heck, I bet I went up to them and had a gun and said something like give me all your money they would tell everything. Worth a try I reckon.

Guess we just will find out. Heck might even call first and let them know I am coming. Bet that would help.

Well I'll give them that the smile for a day. Oh yeah calling up and saying I going to hold them up ought to do.

After all they always put us on hold so it seems fair.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "How so many people with happy face buttons, don't smile? Can't they see them good?"

STOP WATCHES

Okay, somebody explain to me the benefit to this? I want to know what is cool about a broken watch?

Maybe you could snooker somebody into buying it. Like telling them it needed batteries when it didn't use them.

Now that might not be nice, but I guess if somebody told you that in a way that suckered you into buying it you might try doing the same. And I guess I can't blame them for that.

Still I wonder if these watches ever did work in the first place? Is there some jerk out there is breaking watches for the fun of it.

I think we better find that jerk. And make sure he knocks it off. Heck I bet he even keeps the good watches for himself.

Yeah, that would suck. Oh I will be sure to tell you that is not a good deal. Stupid jerk break watches for no good reason.

Well I'm not going to let this jerk keep getting away with this. I'm going to check people who sell watches from now on.

If they tell me they got a stop watch, I will fix them good. Then maybe they won't do it again.

Got to take a stand sometime. Really does suck. I mean ain't there enough problems in life without that one?

Still I don't know, there must be some benefit to this. I guess in part it would be the benefit of having the correct time twice a day.

All my watches seem to be off so often. So that would be nice. And then you wouldn't even have to worry about alarm clocks either.

Besides mine gets broke a lot anyway. There are some days I don't quite like it at five am. And that really comes earlier.

But I do have to you know be careful on that part. Otis always likes to try and take it back.

Only it is hard to say it was defective when it is smashed. My bat does a good job in that regard.

Which really is kind of important you know. Yeah I really find this such a good deal. Well when he does get a new clock.
So far I'm still waiting on that part.

WASTING TIME

Oh man what do you think is worse that someone running around trying to shoot father time? I can't imagine such a thing.

Where is the smart side of this? I was watching this gangster movie where they were talking about wasting people.

And each time they did this they used some machine gun on somebody. Was this a good thing?

I don't think so. I mean it made such a mess. Where is the good part of that? Hard to figure.

Personally, I know there have been times I haven't been crazy about stuff like my alarm clock. I mean it is a pain.

But that doesn't mean I want to go out and bump off Father Time. I'm not even sure what he looks like.

Or where you might find him. That is hard to say. But I guess if somebody plans on wasting him they must know where to find him.

Which is kind of a good thing I guess. I mean I wouldn't mind asking him a few questions.

Like what is up with this daylight savings time thing? I mean first they take an hour away from you at one point then give it back later.

Sounds like a bunch of Indian givers to me. And do they charge interest on borrowing it? If so who gets it and what does it costs?

Man just seems like this ought to be made more clear. Really don't you think it would be fair?

Well I guess there is no way to know for sure. Just can't say why this is a good deal I have no idea.

All I know is that if somebody is out to cause problems with this time thing then I think we ought to make sure they are stopped. Only have no idea where you find these jerks.

Yeah, I guess I will check out places that Father Time might hang out. I know it would have something to do with time.

Maybe a watch place perhaps. I guess he could like take turns to visit places without anybody knowing.

But I will take a peek I reckon in those places to find out. Might be a good thing.

TOMORROW IS ALL WE HAVE

Oh man this is something else. You know to be able to say we do have tomorrow like it is a good thing.

And I'm sure it is if you don't mind letting that be part of life. Which I don't mind if it means good junk.

Which is a good thing. Oh yeah I can relate to that. I can really feel good about it. But I don't imagine that is going to help me much if tomorrow sucks.

Them dudes that talk about tomorrow sort of leave that part out a lot. Which is not a good thing to kind of not include.

Yeah, they really aren't being cool about it. Nope that is not a joy if you aren't going to make tomorrow really cool.

Just talking about it ain't helping. I don't know, there is not a good time when you can't know for sure there is a smile at sunrise.

I just figured I ought to through that part in for free. A little poetic type of thought. And who knows maybe that will be okay for some.

As for me, I want details. Yeah, you know the opportunity to like feel good about stuff. And that means good things.

Well at least if they can fake it. Yeah, that is not a cool thing. I would prefer to at least have some hope good is coming.

Which so far seems to have gotten lost somewhere between the talk and the next morning. Honestly, I'm not sure, but it seems that way.

Oh well, I am going to try and keep my view of it. That being the idea of you know somewhere in it all I'm going to have fun.

Now maybe that won't be easy to come by, but I will try. And that is okay, for it is all part of the joy of wondering.

Well I got it joy. Yep, that works for me. And you know if I can get a chance at making this work then cool.

But I know you can't always depend upon this option. Well not unless you plan for it. That takes practice.

And that will be something I will just trust to my choice. Which is hard to say when that will happen.

But I will hope for tomorrow, tomorrow, not the future tomorrow.

TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT

Such a nice deal when this is for good reasons. Like going to a movie or out to dinner. It can suck those if it is for bad reasons.

Like you know if you are all set to have a good time and then you get stuck with some stupid chore. I hate when that happens.

Then tonight is the night in yucky way. And you know I sure don't love it. Nope, not when I have to put up with some crap.

Butt the good part is that this doesn't happen very often. I'm grateful for that. Just do my best to cope when it does take place.

I like the word cope. It means to me bend over and take it. Then don't complain about it. Yeah that is so much fun.

But I sure don't feel that way at times. Man is that not my idea of a good time. This coping seems to be mainly something I get stuck doing.

Doesn't seem to happen to others that way. Well not where I work at least. But then I am not surprised.

They got some pretty strange rules on the subject of you know life in general. Now basically is their is crap to be done, we get to do it.

But if there is fun to be had, they get to have it for themselves. And if we squawk, boy that is when this coping business comes out.

And let there be a chance they might get stuck with the crap and coping is not the word they would use. More like whining.

If we did that it would be a source of complaint. They would gripe about our attitudes and lack of team spirit.

Which would not quite be the way they view their behavior. Nope it doesn't work that way.

I mean you would think that they would at least try to make this out to be good. We are supposed to be the good guys.

But they sure are not going to give us a break on that part. And in any case I will do what I have to in order to be professional.

Which is coping when somebody pays you to cope. Otherwise this is not going to be something you think of as fun.

Which is okay by me as long as somewhere I get compensated. And that doesn't happen enough. But I keep trying.

PLUS OR MINUS

Is there a choice on this with electricity? I mean like you can ask for more or less? is there like some special place I can look to check out my options?

I just figure it would be good to know for sure. You know in case one is a better deal than the other.

Now the thing is you know if it is a plus to get shocked then cool. I just would prefer to have that part spelled out first

You know I think that is far. I mean just figure if there is a good side to getting barbecued with volts I would like to hear it.

As for the minus side, well I hope that you know it means getting shocked less and not less electricity in general. I sure wouldn't want to have the television stop working.

Even worse would be to have the refrigerator. Man that would be a real disaster. I would hate to think of all our ice cream melting.

Yeah that would be terrible. Course it is only in there for a short time before we eat it up anyway.

Still I want it there when I want it. And let me tell you that is not some fun I want to give up any time soon.

Just not cool. Um, perhaps this might work to my advantage though. Yeah, perhaps I can you know figure a way to get the minus on purpose.

As in when Otis is not home. That would be a good deal. Then I would have an excuse for eating up all the ice cream.

Can't complain about that one if it happens. Yeah I could really go for it I can make it happen.

Guess I can think of something. Maybe a nice option with the right effort. Just have to figure out when Otis is going to be gone next.

I know I will check for sales on Spam. That ought to do it. Providing I don't wait to long.

Like when there is only a half a gallon left. Then I might have problems. And who needs that?

Oh well, I'll figure it out eventually. Just takes practice and making sure Otis doesn't figure it out.

But I'm sure I can manage.

NEGATIVE

Now this is suppose to be the opposite of positive. And it must be important since they do have them on batteries.

So I guess we have to be sure if we got the positive we also have the negative. Well at least try.

And I hear them talk about how the negative is sort of different than the positive. Not sure quite how though.

I mean it seems to me with electricity that you can get shocked regardless. So it is just a matter of you know making sure you don't get the wrong option.

Yeah, I have heard that people being negative is a bad thing. Kind of shocking and not a good deal all the way around.

Still, not quite sure that I want to handle somebody who does the negative thing. Maybe just let them find the positive ones.

Yeah, that would be a good deal. I could let them both of these dudes hang out together would be a good idea.

And then perhaps they wouldn't be messing up my day. Or at least not giving me a reason to feel that way.

Nope, that is not way I want. I want to get through a day without being shocked. So if that is your think for positive or negative then forget it.

You would think that some could like figure this out and not give me a headache about it. Keep their stupid batteries to themselves.

Meanwhile, I plan on seeing if I can come up with some kind of meter or something to let me know if they are going to cause problems. Yeah, that seems fair.

But then you will always get some clown complaining how you are messing with his rights. Is one of those rights include the right to piss me off?

I don't think so. That ain't a law either. Nope you can be sure you won't find anyone who said you have to do that.

So just do me a favor here, if you have a hang up about this negative thing just keep it for yourself. I will give you the address to the local battery store.

Maybe they will think you are cool. Heck you might even see that bunny character running around with his stupid drum.
Don't send him my way please.

POSITIVE

Now this thing kind of confuses me. I mean I heard about how batteries have positive and negative connections.

But I don't think that ought to apply to people. Unless you are thinking of acting like a battery.

I assume that might work for some. Just not sure it would be my choice. Nope, I don't think I want to lug around any battery.

Well maybe those small ones would be okay. Only when they talk about thinking positive does it mean I have to stick it up my nose to hit my brain?

I think that is an important think to know. Doesn't seem important to others though. And I reckon they got their own idea of fun.

But not me. I don't want to put batteries anywhere strange. Which is what it sounds like to me.

Now another problem to me would be those jumper cables. I mean if a person is jumping and not sure why what good are these things?

I sure can't imagine using them for jumping rope. Guess those clamps on the end might be helpful.

You know you could attach them to your nose or something. That might be a good thing for some.

But since I'm not a big fan of jumping I don't think I will worry about it. I will just let somebody else do it.

As for this positive thing, well I guess I will just have to keep checking it out. At least until I can make sense of it more.

I'm going to get a few batteries and see what happens. Maybe I will give them a try and see if it helps.

But then you never can say for sure. And I'm not sure you can even after you try the batteries.

But it might work. Maybe if I get creative with them. Like put them in something such as a radio.

Then turn it on. Well might not be enough. Hmm, I here water can do lots of good thins for electricity.

Guess maybe I will try standing in a shower to see if that helps. Then afterwards I'll know if it makes me positive.

Thought for the week: "Why do they have a moment of silence when people die? We afraid they will listen?"

TOO SWEET

Hard to imagine anything that is too sweet. But I reckon that does happen. Well somewhere.

Now I will admit that for me there is a time when chocolate can be a tad too much. Just one bite too many.

Course you don't necessarily find that out till you take the extra bite and your stomach slams on the brakes.

That is not a good feeling. Nope nothing stings like a tummy pissed off by that one bite of sweet it decides is too much.

I will admit that there are times when I feel this more than others. Yeah, you know when I eat just chocolate it can be okay. Till I get to that fifth or sixth pound then well I can get a little whoosey.

However, you know that doesn't happen every time. And I know like if I eat something else first it does affect the reaction.

Like you know if I have say five or six dozen brownies and then a couple gallons of root bear, couple of gallons of rocky road ice cream and try eating chocolate it kind of doesn't work. That is kind of tough.

At least that doesn't happen everyday. Glad for that. Really would hate to you know get disappointed when I got a candy bar.

However, again I am learning to be careful. And that means I try to cut back on the stuff that might mess me up.

Like having six pizzas first. Yeah. might be one too many. Well live and churn as they say and my tummy does a lot of that.

But that is okay. I will get better about it. No problem there. Just in time. And I sure don't want to give up the chocolate either. That would make it too much of a problem.

Not sense making that sacrifice. And don't think I want to. Not if I can help it. Okay if that means like you know, I have to cut back once and a while I will.

Maybe do it only three times a day instead of four. Yep, that would be great. A chance to you know let myself not get too missing out on the good stuff.

So I will live with a little change if that helps. Yeah, three times a day isn't so bad. I will suffer at tad, but that isn't really bad.

And then next time I will be better for it.

SELL FOR LESS

Is this cool or what? When you get some cool deal for less bucks? I don't know why more people don't do that?

Yeah it makes so many people happy they ought to do it all the time. But some silly person will start making a big deal about it and then the next thing you know, forget it, less.

I tell you there ought to be a way to make this some kind of law. You know so we could enjoy having a good time without costing a fortune.

Now that is another part that is kind of hard to figure at times. I mean this deal of something costing a fortune.

How much is a fortune anyway? More than a dollar I imagine. Just not sure if there is an exact amount.

Got to wonder if there are rules on that part. I will kind of give this some thought though. I bet it is not as big an amount as some might imagine.

Yeah I bet it is just an amount they talk about to make you a little crazy. Sounds like the kind of thing they would pull.

Sure I can imagine it is all those darn coin changing machines vaults. Yeah, they are so good and messing you up on coins and junk.

Just like vending machines. Now I bet that would find out they hog all the extra bucks somewhere.

Sure seems like they don't bother to actually give back money some change at times. And what is with this exact change crap?

Now that I do wonder about. I mean these machines are sure picky. Like they are too good to sell for less.

I tell you this just ain't right. And you can be sure I am not going to mess around letting it bother me.

Nope I'm going to save myself for real bargains of selling for less. Like as those things called swamp meets.

No I can imagine a swamp would be that expensive in the first place. So I can figure it would be a good bargain.

Just have to find out where the swamp is located. Oh I bet I will find it somewhere. Hopefully no where expensive.

HOUSING

Well I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. I think houses are a good thing. Just a little strange at times.

I mean you know I haven't figured out why they call them home owners. I wouldn't have thought that houses could own people.

And then after that part you got to pay taxes just to be owned by a home. Is this some kind of strange law?

Like if you get owned by a home you are stupid and need to be punished? Kind of seems that way too me.

Which is really not cool. But I guess that is okay if you are cool with it. I wouldn't be. Nope no home is going to tell me what to do.

I reckon the best thing is to like you know not fall for whatever lies a house might say to sucker you into such choices. Which since no house has lips makes it kind of sneaky.

No complaining though. I ain't fallen for it yet. And don't expect too. You won't find me being stuck out mowing some lawn on a Saturday when a house is in a bad mood.

Man that is kind of scary when you think about it. Do they like keep you trapped in the garage if you don't do what they want?

I sure don't plan on being a victim of that kind of abuse. I think I will not give myself a chance to find out.

Nope, I will stick with living in an apartment. Unless I can get a castle somewhere. I hear that is a good thing.

Something about being in one makes you a king. Gee I wonder if that would mean I got stuck not wearing my beanie.

Still a moat might be fun. Yeah, all that water and stuff where you go for a swim or just wash something.

Yeah, that would be cool. Still haven't heard if the home owner deal applies to castles. Might be best to find out.

Can't say I want that option. And I reckon unless they like abduct you for some reason I won't have to worry.

Oh well, that is not my concern at this point. I will not let any house sneak up on me and try that one.

Better to just not turn my back on them. Kind of hard at times, but mirrors help.

HOUSES

Well I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. I think houses are a good thing. Just a little strange at times.

I mean you know I haven't figured out why they call them home owners. I wouldn't have thought that houses could own people.

And then after that part you got to pay taxes just to be owned by a home. Is this some kind of strange law?

Like if you get owned by a home you are stupid and need to be punished? Kind of seems that way too me.

Which is really not cool. But I guess that is okay if you are cool with it. I wouldn't be. Nope no home is going to tell me what to do.

I reckon the best thing is to like you know not fall for whatever lies a house might say to sucker you into such choices. Which since no house has lips makes it kind of sneaky.

No complaining though. I ain't fallen for it yet. And don't expect too. You won't find me being stuck out mowing some lawn on a Saturday when a house is in a bad mood.

Man that is kind of scary when you think about it. Do they like keep you trapped in the garage if you don't do what they want?

I sure don't plan on being a victim of that kind of abuse. I think I will not give myself a chance to find out.

Nope, I will stick with living in an apartment. Unless I can get a castle somewhere. I hear that is a good thing.

Something about being in one makes you a king. Gee I wonder if that would mean I got stuck not wearing my beanie.

Still a moat might be fun. Yeah, all that water and stuff where you go for a swim or just wash something.

Yeah, that would be cool. Still haven't heard if the home owner deal applies to castles. Might be best to find out.

Can't say I want that option. And I reckon unless they like abduct you for some reason I won't have to worry.

Oh well, that is not my concern at this point. I will not let any house sneak up on me and try that one.

Better to just not turn my back on them. Kind of hard at times, but mirrors help.

JUVENILE

Well the way they use this word it makes it sound awful. But then what can you expect from people who make it all sound that way.

Have you noticed they are all adults? Sounds pretty strange to me. Like they got a reason for acting that way.

But when they talk about juvenile it really doesn't sound like a good thing. And since when is being a kid a bad thing?

I think they are being kind of unfair. And I for one don't think that is cool. Nope I want it changed.

I want them to think that juvenile is like a good deal and stop making it have a bad sound. But then I will make sure that I don't add to the problem.

I try very hard to make kids look smart. And work really hard at it at times. Do it by trying to set a good example.

But sometimes they just don't seem to cooperative on that part. Really kind of bugs me. Not that I don't try though.

I don't know, I just figure that sooner or later you have to be a good example. That is what Otis calls it.

He just doesn't you know define what it means to be a good example. I kind of think it comes under the category of making sure you don't fart in public and do other stuff that is yucky.

Now the idea I guess is don't piss people off. Nope that is not helpful. And I wish there was a way to improve that issues.

But then I do try and help the kids to see the light. That is the one in the bathroom. Well so I've been told.

It is just kind of hard to you know get with this idea of examples as I would like. I don't know, I do work on it.

Now the big problem is not being able to get them kids to react as I would like. I hate having to stuff them into a trash can as example.

But we do manage to help them at times. Just not quite as much as I would prefer. But in any case I am still trying.

And maybe one of these days it will actually be so I don't even have to stuff them into a trash can too. Now that would be nice.

MENACE TO SOCIETY

I heard about this the other day. There are really people out there that are so dang mean. Yeah you just can't trust them in any way.

I just have a hard time appreciating their being like that. Just can't figure what is the benefit.

I think they need to take up some better hobby than being a pain in the butt. Yeah, where is the good in that?

Not to me. And I guess the only way to deal with them is to be sure I don't let them forget to stop doing that kind of stuff.

Maybe I will have to invest in some new bats. You know to be sure that I don't look at this thing without being prepared.

Yeah, my poor bat gets a nice work out at times. But then I do feel it is the only way to solve this problem.

Just takes a lot of extra practice with just me doing it. Hey, maybe that is what I need to work out.

Yeah, perhaps get the people to bash themselves. People are strange. So you never know what they will like.

But I will be darn sure willing to try if I can. Only problem is making sure they really are a menace to society.

My first choice would be old rat boy, Junior. He is such a cheese hording jerk. And if that ain't a menace I don't know what is.

But I reckon there are others. So what I figure is that I would just assume they are guilty and that way wouldn't risk getting confused on it.

Am I'm sure if I bashed enough I would find a few that are a menace. At least that is the part I like.

And it might take a while to get this worked out. But I will start with those who look guilty.

I will make sure that I don't make the same mistake as last time. I will avoid just bashing those dudes sitting in the park who were next to the trash can.

How was I suppose to know they were boy scouts? I mean that would really be something you would think I would have noticed.
I guess it was the tent that threw me off.

DISCUSSIONS

Why is it when somebody says they want to have a discussion they really mean a lecture? Ain't a discussion suppose to be two way?

I would hope it would work that way. Only it never does. Well not with the people I get stuck talking to.

Let me tell you this deal of discussing junk is pure crap. And let me tell you I ain't impressed at all.

About the only time this seems to be close to talking is when Otis mentions it. Course he does sort of let me talk to.

Well between those fits of rambling. They can be so scary too. When he gets that glassy look in his eyes and starts saying weird junk.

I mean about stuff like metaphors and philosophy and things to do with other kinds of crap that don't make a whole lot of sense to me. At least I think it would be nice if I didn't have to go huh when he was talking.

In any case I'm just glad he mainly gets hung up on this once and a while. Mainly after eating to much Spam.

Which is about the time I'm sucking down tons of jelly beans so that is cool. I can le the sugar rush to help make it better.

But the big problem is that almost every time he gets into one of his discussion modes then we get back to base and see Junior. And he is the pits in terms of discussions.

Only way to shut him up his with a big hunk of cheese. Which I never carry on me. Like I could.

But that is okay. I have worked on an emergency solution. Cheese crackers seem to work the best.

At least we tell him they are cheese crackers. Thanks goodness for that yellow paint and cheese scented air freshener.

Really makes a difference. At least to the point it has shut him up. Well for that time. Maybe not every time, but enough so he doesn't discuss junk.

Now all I have to do is get past Ramy Jarvis when he's had too much prune juice. Yeah that really stinks, literally.

But at least I can avoid him by telling him Junior wants to see him. And that is he fun part.

Thought for the week:"What is the tax when you get paid chicken feed?"

HOMECOMINGS

I have to admit that I like this idea. You know like they have a high school football games.

Where you have these floats cruising around and enjoying life. And then there are the bands.

Really have to give them credit. Love those marching dudes looking so cool. Just think it is a great thing.

But you never know when those things will get a little out of control. And that is the real fun time.

I love seem them all go whacky and have fun. Oh yeah that is a good thing. Really is fun.

Now the only thing I hate is that I can't have these at STINK. Oh I tried. Made my own float covered in garbage.

I thought it was so cool. Loved the way it came out. Thought it was pure genius. But the guys at the office didn't agree.

Nope them suckers were a pain in the butt. They didn't appreciate the thought at all. Not that I could tell.

Even had my own band. Well it was this mannequin though. Had a record player strapped to its behind.

Sure would have been great if it worked out for the best. But they never did go along with the idea.

I think the big problem was with the fact that we had an even bigger problem. Over at STINK Truly Grimey wanted to be homecoming queen.

Now that was scary because she expected to fix the food too. Talk about a disaster. Oh man that was terrible.

So scared everyone when she mentioned it that nobody would consider for a second going ahead with the idea. I mean when her food made the garbage float smell good then you knew it was a bad idea.

We did have a nice fight of sorts. Between people trying to avoid eating her food. Only problem was trying to tell who won.

I mean not sure, which worked better, being beat up or having to puke from eating that food.

IF NO NOW...

Okay how come this is like I have to have it this second? I mean can't it wait? Come on give me a break on this one.

This always seems to happen when you are really busy too. A wonderful time of being downright busy. And then some clown comes up and wants to demand your time.

Like this is a good thing. I mean I wouldn't mind, but like I don't have anything to do. And it is always for something stupid.

As in something they really don't need right now. But they are buttheads about it and make it sound like they need it right way.

So you know it isn't going to end up being something you will like or even be happy to know about. Just can count on that being the case.

What you can count on is that it will not be good things. More like a pain in the butt you will hate.

These are always the first class jerk types. They love to boss you around never say thank you.

And normally they end up being in charge. Which means you have to pretend to listen to them.

And if they are a big enough butthead then you have to lie and pretend you even like them. Yuck!

Well let me tell you I do not enjoy that part. I would rather they fall off a cliff somewhere and then never get back.

Which is the worse part they always find a way to come back. Yeah it sucks and you can be sure I don't enjoy it.

About the only fun part is seeing them get all red faced when some other bigger butthead comes by to tell them what to do. I like that part.

Boy do they gripe too. Like it is okay when they do it, but whoa it is terrible it is happens to them.

It is about the only time I get to smile. That is until they decide to bless me with the same stuff.

Oh yeah I don't think of that has fun. But that is okay, I just enjoy seeing the boss grovel when his boss makes him unhappy.

Just another time of joy.

WHY NOT NOW?

I get asked this at times. Like I'm some kind of watch. I can tell time, but I ain't no watch and sure don't want to be one.

But with some people that sure seems to be a big deal. They really act like I'm supposed to the perfect time for everything.

Why I have no idea. I do think they need to figure some things out for themselves. And I don't have an idea why that is my problem.

And this is only a problem when you are talking about you know me being expect to know all that junk. I do know lots of stuff, but not everything.

Well yet at least. I am working on it though. Pretty soon I will take care of that problem. Going to learn it all.

Yep, going down the library and study up on all the facts. I mean they got all those books there so what the heck.

And I know I can read pretty fast. Man I can get through most books in about fifteen minutes.

Shouldn't take very long. Guess I might have to allow though for the books that have more than pictures.

I bet those might take a little while longer. Don't reckon it will take forever though. And that is a good thing.

I am kind of wondering though what it will be like once I know everything. Probably more fun that now.

Still can't say for sure. Did hear of this one person who knew everything. Wasn't a very nice person as I understand.

Kind of went a little crazy as I heard. Got down right weird. Well that is how Otis told it when he said the person was a know it all.

But that is okay, I think I can avoid that problem. I just won't tell others about it. Only if they ask.

Well okay maybe if they don't shut up too. Then I might have to do it too. Gosh you just have to allow for that option.

No fun being smart if you can't have fun with it. And shutting up a stupid person really is cool.

Yep, I like that part. Even if they don't.