DAYS OF DAZE

Oh man take my advice here and never trust Junior to set up a schedule. Yeah, don’t do that if you can avoid it.


That is not in anyway something to ever consider. I will only say if you go brain drain and get totally stupid I will understand.


But that is the only situation I figure that would work in. Otherwise I think it is best if you just don’t bother.

Now I guess it is a good thing that Junior sticks with messing up STINK. Yeah, that is one decent reality.

The big problem is with the times that STINK has to deal with others. I’m speaking of more than you know griminals.

This is when it is one of those days you have to let us visit some customer what happens? Junior gets in charge of making the plans.

Talk about insane. Yeah, it is totally confusing. He’ll give all of us different instructions and they won’t make any sense.

And boy will that end in a mess. Yep, that is never a good thing. I mean really it sucks. I hate it.

But that is not something I can control. I sure wish I could. Then I wouldn’t mind so much

Yep, I sure have times I love to think about that part. But you know I just do what I can to cope.

That is what Otis calls it. He does that whenever he does stuff that makes him bite his lips.

And then after it is all over and I’m totally nuts and wanting to scream, what happens? Nothing.

We all leave with things staying the same. Just taking the time to sit down and trying to make this all look like it was a good thing.

But is it? Well good in terms that it is over. At least for that time. Later, well that is a different story.

Yep, that is the part that never is cool. And that means we move on to the next time and hope some miracle keeps it from happening.

Hope being the important word here.

FUN FOR NONE

Ah now this is so cool. It is when you do it to those who deserve it. The ones who ruin the fun for everyone else.

And let me tell you I sure need to find these moments when they happen. Which just doesn’t happen when I want it.

Nope that is not part of the way this stuff works. Why is it that this kind of thing almost always ends with some guy with no sense of humor in charge.

Yeah, why is that? Honestly, it sucks. I don’t know, but just seems to work out that way to often.

And even if say they don’t like start out that way, they end up that way. Maybe they really had a sense of humor at some point.

Yeah like before they got put in charge. You know they sit there being their normal selves and all is cool.

Then because they are okay and even fun somebody decides they would do great being in charge of fun. Wrong!

Now I got to admit that I don’t find this to be all the much fun. Just seems like the go goofy or something and start being nuts.

It is as if the pressure to do well drives them crazy. They can’t handle making a success at smiles.

So they get brain drain and the next thing you know it is crazy. They end up with insane ideas for fun.

Then they share them with others. And that is really, really boring. Oh yeah can’t take that part.

Now the way around this I guess would be if they would just say, sorry, I got brain friend. My humor side is gone.

In any case it just don’t work. They become boring and then totally out of control. Like it becomes necessary to try harder.

Which would be find if it worked, but it never does. They just get worse. Oh yeah that is the bad part.

This ends with them being even worse. Just acting totally crazy and stupid. And they never get better.

So it ruins it for the rest of us. Till somebody wakes up and says forget it.

SCUM FOR FUN

Yep, this is not something I normally want to talk about. I mean scum just ain’t usually treated as a good thing.

But in this case it can be. Because this is where we take the time to truly enjoy something we think is bad.

This is where I use my special grimefighter skills to help people feel free to understand the good side of scum. Yep, it is there.

So that is a matter of what Otis calls enlightening people. Yep, that is the one thing, which he claims is a good thing.

Now as far as I can understand it this is where you make people see that scum is bad by making it seem good. Now that’s pretty tricky if you ask me.

Yeah, I can truly love that way of dealing with stuff if in the end they manage to actually get the right idea. That can be tricky.

Next would come the joy of taking time to give them a party. Yep a party. Just then you let it get totally messy.

But keep them so busy they don’t have a chance to clean up. Making sure they stay that way until they really beg to get clean.

Even then you don’t let them clean up. Not till they are totally turned off by that scummy feeling.

Nope that is not a bad sense of accomplishment. Really that is the part that I can’t say ever makes me upset.

Now the fun part is when they finally get cleaned up they really learn to appreciate this lesson. Providing it works out that way.

Sometimes it is the aspect that just has to be appreciated in special ways. I wish it meant thanks from people.

But there are those few who just don’t act that way. They are just not able to appreciate this.

Those are the ones that just have to be looked upon as uncooperative. You just have to be sure you don’t give up.

There ones you get to understand are worth the wait. Those are the part you celebrate and enjoy.

Just wish they didn’t you know not come back to say thanks so often.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "How do they grow fruit in cereal boxes and not make it taste like manure?"

TOUCHY

I was over at this museum and they had this section or touching junk. Yeah, that was cool since most of the time they don’t let you do that.

They got all these don’t touch signs up. Like that is a good thing. I mean it is as if you know they expect if you touch something it will break.

Now the way I see it if they let you touch more junk it would be better. You would not be so curious and then just have to sneak a touch.

Yeah, it sure would have been easier on me if I could have done that and not had to guess if them stuffed animals were just sleeping. But did find out just the same.

Only they made such a fuss about it. Man I thought it was so crazy. You would have thought I had stolen something.

Was it my fault that the stuff polar bear looked like he as sleeping? I just had to be sure he wasn’t faking it.

Because you know what they say, if a bear farts in the forest and nobody is there does it sill smell? I didn’t want that darn bear pulling any stinky stuff.

So it really did make me kind of curious. I sure didn’t want to find out when my back was turned.

Yeah, that is not time he was faking it. I sure didn’t want to have that happen. Well in any case I just was happy to figure it out.

But they make it such a big deal. Man I sure wasn’t thrilled with that way of dealing with checking out a bear.

I suppose I should feel lucky. Nobody caught me touching that stagecoach exhibit. Good thing too.

I mean I did learn that one handle was a brake. Only after I moved it and then left it alone.

It rolled all by itself. Honest it did. Just one less thing that I had to explain. As for that other exhibit, well had to learn somehow.

Heck we can all use you know a chance to find out if an electric light really works right. At least I think we do.

And nobody told me that Thomas Edison wasn’t real. So was just a mistake. But guess putting that wax finger of his in a socket did teach me something.

I just need to wait till the let me back into the museum to find out.

REAL SMART

This is a cool thing. Oh yeah, having brains is good deal. Just as long as you are not stupid about it.

And I sure have not some really smart dumb people at times. Which is really stupid from my point of view.

See we got these big brain dudes over at STINK. They do all this you know inventing stuff.

And that is a good thing in some ways. When what the come up with works. And if it works as they decide.

Then it is a pain in the butt. No fun having super weapons that are suppose to make you able to wipe out griminals that don’t actually work.

It just ain’t a good thing. And let me tell you that sure doesn’t help me either. Because those dang guys never seem to think of important stuff.

Oh they give their inventions and cool names and all, even some nice buttons, but it always ends up not working right. And that is never the joy I like.

Once and a while they you know luck out and it does function. Only problem is that they will forget to tell us something.

Leave out some important detail that ain’t good to forget. Like when it blows up junk. Yeah, if it was suppose to great.

But it was not fun when it blew up the wrong stuff. Yeah, nobody over in that taxi was thrilled when our one weapon missed that griminal and ruined that car.

OOPS, didn’t quite cut it with them people. They didn’t smile and say we understand. They were other than happy.

I think that it is something where they sure expected other than OOPS. And they didn’t exactly see us fighting for clean with trashed taxi.

So it was not quite a testimony to our job. Not to them. But the good news is that I don’t figure we have to worry about this next time.

Yeah, that taxi driver took that weapon and paid the lab boys a visit. I don’t think hello was on his list of things he did.

I didn’t hear what all happen, but I did hear it wasn’t exactly their idea of a good time. Nope that wasn’t how it happen.

I understand they have a new hole in the wall for a window. Shaped like the one lab guy’s head.

NOT WORKING

I think some people do this on purpose. Yeah the ones that operate vending machines and copiers seem to do it all the time.

They just know when it is time to get you all upset because you have a candy or copy emergency. They do happen.

And let me tell you that is not a fun thing. It is like extra, piss me off big time deal. Not a fun thing in any way.

But then I am trying to improve that situation. Any time I see what of those vending machine dudes I let him know to be more cool on the not working stuff.

Now they ain’t been so helpful over making sure they don’t keep on doing it. And that is the part that really sucks.

In that case I just try to not mess with those machines as much. Only wish they were not like always were you want them the most.

Kind of like the copier deal. We got one over at STINK. And it always seems to not be working when I need a copy.

Shoot I got out of my way to try and be nice to it. Always you know offering it a drink of my pop.

Even let it sample my jelly beans once. Now is that fair or what? I think it was good of me to offer.

So you would think that the least it could do is behave. Yeah, what is up with that? Nothing I can think of.

And I think those darn office workers are doing some sneaky stuff too. They sure do seem to make sure it is not working a lot.

Why shoot there was that day not too long ago that I went to use it and they said it didn’t work. Then when I was away they used it.

So I ran back up and gave it another try. Only it didn’t do any good. Nope they sure did act like I was imagining stuff.

Well I did take care of that part though. Yep, I made sure that I just waited till they used it and ran right up at the moment.

Oh they tried to pretend it was a mistake. But heck they didn’t fool me. And imagine them telling me how it wouldn’t copy that hunk of rock after that?

Yep, any excuse will do I guess.

NAME CALLING

Now I think this can be okay. Just depends on the name. Yeah, some people can be so dang rude.

It is like their brain goes on vacation. And that is never cool. Not to me. I think they are just jerks.

But I would rather think of the good kinds. You know where people are telling you how great you are.

You just have to be sure they are not like lying. Just saying it to be get on your good side.

There are sure a lot of people like that. They really suck. And let me tell you that is not fun.

Personally, I work hard on not spending time with such jerks. Kind of a big waste of time.

And I am really grateful that I don’t deal with them more often. No fun in that. And most of the time you don’t get anything out of it.

So you just keep plotting along and hoping when a person is being nice that they are not up to something phony.

Now a big clue you are dealing with a jerk is when they say junk that you know is like too good. Somebody who out of the blue says you are great.

Yeah, and if they never did that before you know it is bogus. So they ones that do it too obvious you can forget about.

Now the sneaky one make it appear that they are pals. They will act as if they will observe something you like.

And then mention in a way that looks like they care. But then once they get on your good side they will prove they are jerks too.

Yeah, they will make sure they hint at something they want. And there is no way I’m giving up my jelly beans for anyone.

Nope I draw the line there. Been fooled a couple of time and that was enough. But that is one thing that happens.

Hate those times, just can’t avoid them. Pity life gets that way. Why can’t they make a rule on that.

But then it would most likely have a tax I reckon.

Bubbles

Man this is such a dangerous subject. You can really find yourself in big trouble on this one.

And what is really scary is how most people don’t even know it. They just think bubbles are fun.


Well let me tell you I learn different. Yeah, you never know when a good thing will suddenly go nuts.

Now normally you don’t even find bubbles that much. You can buy those little bottles and blow your own.

But it is when you talk about the word blow that I get nervous. Because you just never know when it might explode.

They never talk about that part. Yeah, I bet they don’t want to admit it. But what is in a bubble?

Stuff that makes it float. And you never know if that could be dangerous. I mean if it was heck would they even tell us?

Just take a gander at them thinks called blimps. They are really big bubbles. Even bigger than balloons.

And I hear they can explode. And a long time ago, must be more than five years there was this one extra big one.

It was called the Hinder-turd. Man who comes up with such a name? But I bet it mean it was full of gas.

Now how smart was that? Not to me. Nope I think it was plain dumb. But it did end up exploding.

So you got to wonder if maybe it all started with some dudes messing around with bubbles. I can see it.

Didn’t end up very smart, but heck we all do dumb things. They just don’t all explode. I sure am glad for that.

Well maybe we can get them to stop making bubbles if the might end up making other junk later. Stuff that goes boom.

Hope some of them bothers to read this and think about it. Sure would be a good thing. Well reckon there is hope.

That some will get brains. But not sure when.

NO SO GOOD

Ever have those times when you know you think you got a bargain and it sucks? You are so sure things are great and they fool you.

Well I know it happens to others. And you know as a grimefighter this really bugs me big time.

Because it almost always happens when I gets some new gadget from the Lab. They come up with some cool stuff.

Well it ain’t all cool. And you know that is the ones that I don’t enjoy. Man some of them really do bug me.

Like the other day when they brought me this special weapon. It was suppose to be able to remove stains.

Which is a good thing. If it works. But then sometimes it doesn’t. Nope, now quite as you hope.

See they didn’t bother to tell me that you know this deal wasn’t meant to be used on stuff when people were wearing it. Not a good thing to not mention.

So there I was you know just trying to make things better for this person and it didn’t work. Well I thought it was going to work.

Only darn it all they just didn’t seem to appreciate having their clothes sort of melt. Yep, not a thing they appreciated.

But it was just an experiment. I did try to explain it to them. However, when all their clothes were sort of ruined they didn’t say thank you.

In any case I was still hoping to get it to work. But never did get the bugs out. Oh some did seem then after beating shot by the ray.

I hear they are doing much better now. Not fainting any longer. Which I do appreciate. Since they don’t have to sue us now.

Still life does have it wrinkles. More so thanks to my weapon. Glad it is sort of doing almost a good job now.

Got it back last week with some repairs. Hardly melts anything now. And does work on stains.

But then you know I am still hopeful it will get better later. Not sure when though. Maybe when it stops like overheating.

Kind of blows up things once and a while. Not sure it is on purpose though. Still checking on that part.

LUCKY

Well what I want to know is who decides when this happens? I really would like to know.

I think I may have missed out on my allowance a few times. Perhaps they put it in the mail.

Lots of stuff seems to get lost that way. Darn mail box really can be so annoying in that regard.

You put junk it in and the stupid thing doesn’t send it. Yeah, happens to me a lot. I will send something and then call the place where I sent it.

But they claim it never got there. Now that sure seems strange from my view. I know I put the right address on it.

Even checked it a couple of times. Yeah, that was something I didn’t forget. Course you know there were times when I didn’t remember the stamp.

But heck I don’t think that should have caused a problem. I mean I did draw one on the thing with a pen.

So that should have been enough. But I guess that is one of those deals where it is another unfair thing.

There is so much of that going on a times. And I guess I should have learned better by now.

Now when it comes to luck I want somebody to show me the rules. Yeah, I sure want to have somebody fess us it is not working right.

But I imagine this is another of those deals where nobody will admit a thing. That happens a lot.

Well, I will still give this more thought. Because I bet there is a machine out there that handles this.

Yep, I could be happy just to take a turn with the machine. No problem there. Not interest in being greedy.

Just have to you know check it out. Be able to find one of those casino places. Never been to one.

But bet they have the luck thing covered. Hope they don’t mind sharing. That would never be cool if the didn’t.

I wonder if they cover parking meter? Hmm, worth checking I guess.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "If you are your brother's keeper, do you have to use a leash?"

NOT SURE

Now see this is unfair. I hate when you call somewhere for help and this is the reply. If I wanted confused I would do it myself.

I want answers! I want them to make sense. That is the part that I don’t need or want. Nope you can forget that part.

But that is okay, I have learned if you want answers forget some people. Like them customer service types.

Oh they promise to answer your questions, but never do. Yeah, it all sucks. All you get in some information that does help much.

I am working on ways to improve that. But so far Otis won’t let me go visit them with a bat.

Don’t mean I haven’t given it thought anyway. Yeah, you can sure wish for this. But then you can never say for sure.

Anyway, I am working on a way as I said to improve the problem. I figured one way would be to like you know give this some personal service.

For me that would be such as going over and working at the place myself. Yeah, then I could show them how it ought to be.

Well sounds good at least. But then you never can say for sure. However, I figure I couldn’t do worse.

I mean at least I would give them information. Yeah, I wouldn’t make them feel unsure about junk.

And I know I could do it. Just a matter of practice. How tough can this be? Really seems to me no big deal.

I already know how to answer a phone. Yeah, I can do that with no problem. But then you can’t tell the question part is hard either.

Only a question of time I reckon. My moseying over there and dropping a few hints. Or maybe just yelling.

But this will get fixed that is for sure. All I need is to take the time to not let them keep that door locked on me.

That part I’ll have to work on with a locksmith. Hmmm, maybe that will be something to check on too.

Just always something I guess.

WORTHWHILE

Now the worth part on this is easy to understand. Yeah, it means good. Nothing hard to understand with that.

It is the while part I hate. Yeah, how come this can’t be as easy. You want something then you ought to get it when you wanted.

Now how hard is that to figure out? Pretty darn hard for some I reckon. And that really sucks.

I think we need a word like worth-anow! As in right this very second. I sure would love to do that.

Then you wouldn’t have to make a big deal about waiting or this while stuff. At least they could like make it worth-a five o’clock.

Yeah some time would be better than no time. And that would be a far way to handle it. At least to me.

But then you never know. You can just keep plotting away with the worthwhile and maybe wear them down.

Yeah, I could see that as a good deal. I would like it a lot. But not sure if you need the license for it.

Seems like whenever there is a worth thing you need to have some kind of permit. Well unless you are talking about air.

Then no big deal. Well seems that way to me. I don’t know, it would be cool if they didn’t do it.

But there are just some people who figure if you want it you need a bill. Personally, I don’t myself.

Now I think I will find a way to make all worth junk as now. Just say give it a while expiration date.

Yep, that would be cool. Works for food. You know that date comes and watch out. Things can get yucky.

Maybe even take the time to invest in some worth watches. Gosh that could be so fun. Well to me.

I would like them. And maybe could pass them around too. Couldn’t be upset over that option.

Gosh, what fun this would be.

FINDING IT

How tough is this to do? You lose something then you go out and find it. Can this truly that difficult to occur?

In any case I reckon that some will always try to make a big deal out of this situation. Nope that is not the way it should work.

I mean no big deal, but honestly I think that is just a big lie some made up who get lots a lot. Which is some weird problem.

Now I think that the way to make this not take place is to be sure I just take time to explain to these folks the reality. Yeah that is important.

In any case I think it would be best if they just asked somebody some time. Yep, I can think it would help.

But I don’t reckon that I will ever find this as a reason to get excited. And that is the way it will always be.

So I think the important part is to be sure that none takes the time to actually you know spend their moments know they don’t lose things in the first place. Yeah, that would be a good thing.

Now the big deal I think will be perhaps to issue some maps. That way the people can relax a little.

Which is a good think I imagine. I can figure we can find all kinds of maps if we look hard enough.

Yeah, why not? I bet that will work. Yeah, just give these people a break on that part. You never know when it will come in handy.

Now as far as I’m concerned this will not be a deal that will be hard to do. Just need to keep it focused.

I hear that word a lot. Yeah, that really is one that I know will work on. Providing I am not dealing with some knucklehead.

There are too many of them out there. Yep, just way to many to honestly be treated in a way that is good.

Now I imagine that there is a way to let this get handled in other ways. Just not sure how. Maybe a book.

But then you can never say for sure. Some people don’t seem to read that much either, so that wouldn’t help.

POSITIONS

I don’t think this is a good thing. I was walking over by this company and saw a sign that says “positions available.”

They said there were both part time and full time positions. Now personally, I don’t think I would want to sit all the time.

It is okay for watching movies or being in car, but it can be boring it if happens to often. Then you can get a numb butt.

That just ain’t my idea of a good thing. Might work for somebody else, but not me. And I reckon there is a good way to fix it too.

Basically, I figure that it will be something I can take care of my way. Which is to not to business with some outfit that tries to tell you when to sit down.

And also when you have to do it all the time. Now that really sucks. You sure got to wonder about that part.

You know I reckon it might be a case of them deciding people need more rest. That can make sense.

But do they have to tell us when we can? I do question that part. Really does suck from my view.

And I don’t plan on stopping by such places to have them tell me about it either. Nope that won’t work for me.

So I do also wonder why some would even bother. You know sounds kind of weird to imagine them working in a place that says this is a good idea.

Guess it is okay. Just not sure I would care to join in. That would not do for me. I think I will just stick with my own version.

Which is to sit down when I want to. And not let them tell me it was their idea. Hate when that happens.

But you sure got some weird folks out there. And you never know when that will end up being a problem.

Now for me, I guess I will just keep sticking with STINK. It is at least something that they don’t expect that.

And I am grateful for that part. Just makes things so much simpler when I can sit when I want too.

I guess that is a benefit huh?

FOG

Man let me tell you this was not a good invention. When Mother Nature was thinking up junk, she could have forgotten this one if you ask me.

I think you know perhaps she had something else in mind and things just got messed up. Like she left the machine on too long.

Probably got busy in some way. You know like was busy thinking about seasons or something and forgot she had he fog turned on.

And then it sort of like went crazy after that. Like once it was out there she couldn’t stop it.

So it has been messed up ever since. Yep, now you can keep the darn stuff from being places when it wants to be.

And if that wasn’t enough problem then they got other kinds of fog. They call it haze. Which is not quite as thick I guess.

Not sure why you need more than one kind. Maybe she was bored and thought there needed to be some variety.

Oh well, I suppose I won’t get a chance to ask. Not sure what her email address is anyway.

Imagine she doesn’t keep it listed. I did check the net for her possible web page. Didn’t find it though.

Might be nice if she did have it where you could find it. You know so she could post all about next weather problem.

At least so we could plan around it. Yeah, that would be really cool. But then since I got no way to contact her I can’t do that.

I did try calling up the weather dude on television. You know I figured he must work for her.

Didn’t get to talk to him. Mainly got some recording. Which is fine with me. I guess I will just think of other ways to talk to her.

Maybe I can get an address somewhere. So I reckon I will try to ask the post office on that part.

Only can’t ask the mailman. He sort of doesn’t like to talk much. Used to be more prone till I asked him about the zip code used by aliens.

After that he just got real busy a lot.

INVISIBLE

Have you ever wished you could be invisible? I sure think it would be cool. But then again I’m not sure how it would work.

I mean if you couldn’t see yourself how would you know if you like dirty? And what about other things.

What if you like had some cut? Would you like know you were bleeding? I don’t think that would be a good think not to know.

Plus is this like with or without clothes? And would you like um know when you could stop being invisible?

They don’t mention that junk. Nope you never hear about it. So I do have to wonder. Plus what all can you do?

See like you couldn’t hardly go on an elevator. Driving a car might be cool though. And I would sure love to see the look on some cop’s face.

But then it would be my luck he would start shooting. That wouldn’t be fun. Not to me that is for sure.

Still might be cool to go shopping. Only if you ate something would it be invisible too.? How would you know for sure?

See that is the part that bugs me. Why I bet somebody has this all figured out too. Heck what if they are like watching you?

Oh man that is creepy. Some jerk could be out there right now doing sneaky crap. And then messing junk up and blaming it on me.

Why let me tell you I don’t like that part one bit. You better believe I ain’t going o take any chances either.

So I think I’m going start taking my bat with me places. And if I think some invisible do is there doing weird junk I will bash him.

Course since I can’t see him, I guess I would just swipe it at the air and hope for the best. Yep, better safe than getting embarrassed.

Well you never know when it is best to not forget how sneaky people are. They can be suck jerks.

However, I will take care of them my way. Just make sure they don’t get the idea I can be fooled on that part.

Well something to think about. Even more so with the holiday around and stuff like food seems to disappear a lot.

GUNS AND BUBBLE GUM

Betcha you have a hard time figuring out how these two go together. Yeah, they might not seem to work as one, but then I always get them figure out.

Now what they have in common for me is that you can only do them at certain times. Yep, people get really pissed if you chew gum in some places.

They will not be happy over it no matter what. So you have to appreciate that problem. And I do.

Same for guns. Only more so. I mean you have to be sure you are careful. You can’t show up any old place toting some cannon.

People take that kind of action really serious. Even if you ain’t got any bullets for it. They will get pissed.

Still they don’t make them just to look at. Somebody expects you to use them. And so they do make bullets.

Course bubble gum doesn’t kill people. Actually they say guns don’t either. But for something that is harmless it sure can smart if you get shot.

In any case you know it is still an important thing to not let it get to you. To make sure if you are going to do one of these you don’t upset others.

Now personally, I’m not one who uses either much. Well gum once and a while. Sort of is good for when you don’t have glue.

Just you know make sure you don’t tell others. Like you know if you shoot off a gun and hit something by accident.

Not always easy to explain. So best be sure you do it right. I did think you could make things easier if you made bullets or even guns out of gum.

That way you could like take it easy and have lots of fun because nobody would get hurt. Just maybe annoyed from all the chewing.

I might even suggest that to those folks over at what they call the NRA. I think that means the Not Really Annoying folks.

Yeah, they try to convince you that guns are cool. Not sure it works though. I see lots who complain them.

Even if they have it in the constitution. About the right to bear arms. Didn’t even know that bears made guns.

Guess somebody does though.


Thought for the week: "If you are your brother's keeper, do you have to use a leash?"

PASSING GO

Well let me tell you somebody made a game with this being part of it. Monopoly I think it is called.

Hmmm, if you play it twice is it steroopoly? Guess I’ll have to ask the dudes who make such games.

Anyway, that kind of going is okay, but not the one I had in mind. Nope, for me it is about the idea of passing a point where you have to go as in the bathroom.

Now personally I think too many places think you only have to go during the day. Because you try finding a bathroom in the middle of the night.

Yeah, that can be a big problem if you are out on patrol like Otis and I are at times. And you know lucky me I listen to Otis and he says drinking lots of pop is no problem.

It sure sounds good when we are guzzling some great tasting pop. But then an hour later it sucks.

I mean big time. Yeah, you can forget it ever being fun having to do the pee-pee dance as a super hero.

You know that is one thing they never mention. You never see any regular super heroes do that.

When was the last time you saw Superman or Batman stop beating the snot out of some bad guy to take a leak? Got to wonder about that.

Come to think of it, you don’t even see them ever eaten. What do these guys do to not eat?

Guess that is something they aren’t going talk about. I can kind of understand. I mean can you imagine old Superman flying through a drive through?

Never see him with any ketchup on his suit. No mustard on his cape either. Yeah, just once would like to see him sucking on some French fry.

I think it would make him more human to me. That would be cool to see him soaring around holding some burger.

Now I could think as long as it didn’t have any lettuce or guacamole, it would be cool. You know how is about green junk. Might think it was kryptonite.

Sure wouldn’t do him much good to freak over it. Nope that would never do. But other than that he’d be cool.

Pass the mayonnaise!

OUTINGS

Oh yeah these are cool. If you are going somewhere great. But that doesn’t always work that way.

Now if this is for some lame place man it can be a real pain. Which seems to come up way too often.

Really these happen too often. Mainly with the jerks who think they are experts on good outings.

Now my least favorite person in that regard is old rat boy, Junior. Talk about somebody with no clue as to what is real fun.

And you can forget the idea of him ever improving. So we get stuck so often with him coming up with crappy ideas.

Like the idea of a cheese pic nic is cool. And where you have to bring all the cheese. Then play his game of cheese tax.

Yeah, that is so much fun. Sure not my idea though. But what can I say? Over at STINK they don’t quite give us much choice.

Nope, never works that way. Just ends up being so dang stupid. And then we all just smile in the end.

Because later we have our own outing. One where we have a chance to take time to be sure that Junior gets what he deserves.

Course that comes about in places where he is gone. Yeah, we have our own party. Put up his picture and toss darts at it.

Only important trick is not forgetting to take it down later. Dr. Hemoglobin sort of frowns on that idea.

He kind of gets a weird idea of outings in such situations. We end up with some task to look for trash in the sewer.

Hardly a good time. And one none of us likes at all. Man does that suck. So that is what happens when you forget to take the pictures down.

Thank goodness we finally got smart and took our parties off sight from headquarters. Oh yeah that was a wise idea.

Couple of trips to the sewer did that trick. And all we sure do love when that keeps us from those assignments.

Next time we might even tell the guys we don’t like too.

NO WAY

When it comes to this business of ways, there are a lot of options. You got your one way, wrong way, two way and then there is no way.

There are all kinds of signs for stuff like one way and wrong way. Sort of like they figure you are stupid and can’t understand stuff.

As for two ways well shoot that is easy to see. No signs needed there. That works kind of easy too.

The hard part is with the no way stuff. It really don’t get advertised much. People kind of ignore them.

But you can be sure if you mess up you’ll find it our real quick. Oh yeah that happens lots of time.

And that really bugs me. I mean the ones you need to know about the most are the ones you can’t find signs.

I mean I really do appreciate if there is no way something is going to happen it is the way it has to be. But why pretend?

It is like it is some secret. And that ain’t helping in any way. Not to me at least. If something is broke then I want to know.

Now this really bugs me. I mean when you are expecting something good and then zap, nothing happens.

So you call up whoever is suppose to fix such junk and they try to tell you it will be all okay. Lots of promises that don’t work.

In the end you find out too late you are getting nothing. No good stuff at all. Just don’t end up being told it that way.

And let me tell you I sure don’t appreciate it. Man does that suck. Really no way out to have signs too.

Just think we need more work on this. I’m tired of hearing maybe that doesn’t really mean maybe.

And only when they do this to stop being jerks about it will I like it. Yeah, I want it to be something truthful.

Well kind of. I do like hope. Only not when it is bogus. Just not when it is all crap. And I sure get plenty of that.

Well it is all fun to somebody, just no way to me.

JOKES

I love jokes. And they can be so funny. If you are talking about playing or saying them to others.

But if somebody is making you a joke then it ain’t cool. Funny is fun, sick ain’t that cool or a good idea.

Now it really bugs me when you know I have to put up with some jerk that thinks he is a comedian. Not quite a good choice.

Not when the person is just plain cruel. What really bugs me is if the person seems like a good guy.

And that happens a lot over at STINK. We are all supposed to be a good guy. It sort of goes with the job of grimefighter.

Only some times the guys get pretty darn stupid in that regard. Something make them get goofy.

Then their brains just like totally act dumb. They just do stuff that they think is funny, but it ain’t really.

Part of the problem I reckon that happens when they don’t catch the bad guys enough. You get kind of frustrated.

So you end up you know decided to find a way to relax. And funny will do that. At least they sort of think it will work.

But I don’t know, just don’t seem to ever come out that way. Because it just always gets so weird.

Now for me part of that is because of old rat boy, Junior. See I think it is his fault most of the time.

Mainly because he always is thinking up crap that makes life as a grimefighter less fun and exciting. Some stupid rule that bugs us.

And that really sucks. It just really makes things other than cool. Which sure ain’t going to change anytime soon.

Nope, not going to say it makes life fun. Unless we have those times when we can like pull a joke on him.

Well we all have come up with our own version. But then Otis sort of rules out the most creative ones.

Yeah, he just thinks stuffing Junior into a trash compactor would be too much.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

Is this one of those ladies first deals? You never hear them say gentlemen and ladies. So makes you wonder.

Now I do guess it matters too much I suppose. I mean it is no big deal I reckon if some lady gets to be first in line.

Although I’m not really clear why this is a good deal for guys. I mean where is the fun part in any of it?

There ought to be a good part. I just haven’t seen it yet. I am working on it. I suppose if you are talking about stuff like getting a flu shot then ladies can go first, no problem.

However, not sure I like the idea at a candy store. Unless the lady did something special Then maybe.

Still this seems to be a rule in lots of places. Another of those deals where somebody made a law and didn’t tell anyone.

Or if they did they didn’t let us vote on it. I did hear about them making laws about women’s rights.

So how come the right side is important? Is that just for ladies who are right handed? I got to wonder.

And how come if dudes are right handed it don’t count? They don’t get any breaks in that department.

I reckon that somebody thinks this makes sense. And maybe it is just a matter of ladies having problems waiting.

I mean they do have to watch kids and wear them high heals. Those look like they would be uncomfortable.

But I don’t know, I got things to do also. Guess I don’t mind waiting to some degree. Just would like to have this thing more clear.

I suppose I could luck out and have it explained by some lady. Yeah, maybe she is a member of some club.

Which is okay. Perhaps it is the kind where ladies just do ladies stuff. I ain’t interested in stuff like dolls.

Guess until I can find out more info then I’ll just live with this ladies first rule. Hope it will be one that doesn’t work all the time at candy stores.

Well hope not at least.

WHATEVER GOES UP

I’m still hung up on this gravity thing. And the idea that whatever goes up has to come down.

I’ve been giving that a lot of thought. And you know I’m not sure that is true. Yeah, clouds go up and I don’t see them come down.

Starts are up there and I don’t see them normally falling. Plus you know what about them flying saucers?

Who says they come down? Not me. Nope there is no way that is something we can prove.

Now the deal to me is maybe these aliens got some special tools for messing up gravity. I don’t know just isn’t the same to me.

In any case I figure it is worth checking in too. Yeah, maybe if we can get them to stop buzzing cornfields and junk they might give us a break.

Then perhaps we might even get them to help with other junk. Stuff related to gravity like levitation.

That is the stuff where you can move junk without needing to use your hands. Yep, that is a fun thing.

Course over at STINK old rat boy, Junior, his idea off levitation is making us move junk. Now he is weird enough to be from outer space.

Wish he would go back there though. No such luck I guess. Oh well I can wish. Hey, what would really be cool is if I could like get the aliens to take him.

Then it would be so cool. Yeah, I could be happy with that part. Yep, I could be happy with that option.

Well now all I have to do is fine some aliens. Hmmm, I wonder if I could place an ad in the paper?

Might be fun. Wanted alien to take rat boy. Er, something like that. Yeah, I could get excited over that option.

Heck, if they would make it forever, I would even be willing to pay. Not sure what kind of money they use.

Hope it isn’t jelly beans. Might be a tough choice. Nope, I could have a hard time parting with them.

Still having Junior go up and not come back down would be worth considering.

GRAVITY HUH?

How come this sucks all the time? I just want to know who is the crazy who thought gravity was a good thing?

Now I can sort of understand the need for some gravity. Once and a while, but all the time?

Just seems to me that you know you could find a different way to have some fun. Yeah, why not?

Or at least make this so you could turn it off when you wanted. Now that would make sense to me.

I don’t know, I just think that would be so great. Be able to just fly off to somewhere when the mood strikes.

Heck, it worked for Peter Pan. And I guess for Tinker Bell. Even for Superman. Yeah that is good.

So I reckon that would be fair for the rest of us to deal with. But then you never know, somebody might complain.

Yep, I could live with that. I mean really if I could just soar wherever it would be cool. Well providing I could come down when I wanted.

That would be the tricky part. I mean you know you get all jazzed soaring off somewhere and then you find out later it is broke.

So you get stuck up in the sky. Now I sure wouldn’t find that cool. Not to me. Maybe somebody else would love it though.

I think I will pass. I will just stick with letting the airlines worry about it. I’m sure it works for them.

But you never know for sure. And then too, if I did the flying I might miss out on the meals.

Guess I could pack a picnic lunch. Nope, I will not consider that as a good option. I will prefer to just make it all safe.

And you know that means not acting crazy. Well not to me. Because you know that is not where it will end.

Yep, I might think about flying, but not going to like soar of on some building to try it out. Did that once, big mistake.

So lesson learned, hopefully.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "What is the toll you have to pay for Toll House Cookies?"

LUNCH

Oh my this is so important. I mean I’m back to this deal about time. Nobody tells my tummy when lunch is.

It might like it at 9am. And what is wrong with that? I don’t see why my stomach can’t be happy.

Yeah, it don’t wear any watch. Just gets hungry. And it can’t see if it is lunch time. Just decides it wants lunch.

And just what is up with those dang places that only serve lunch at certain times. They tummy readers or something?

Yeah, I want to see the computer that knows when my tummy wants lunch. They sure do have them to do anything else.

But then you never know when they might be plotting stuff. That sure can be a problem. Well it can be for me.

I mean them computers are so sneaky. They just can do what they want and nobody claims it was their fault.

Anyway like I said I’m on this campaign to make you know lunch an option in terms of freedom. Yeah I want it when I want it.

Now one thing I heard is about these fast food places that say it is okay. But then you go over there and forget it.

I was in this mood the other morning on my trash route to you know have burger. So I talked Otis into stopping by this burger joint.

And do you think I could get one crummy burger? Nope. Dang it all that sucked. I mean it was only five in the morning.

And they had the nerve not to be there. Can you believe it? I sure didn’t. Boy did that suck.

I mean they said I could have it when I wanted it. But they sure weren’t there for me to do that.

So that didn’t help me much. I went back later to say, hey what gives? But it sure didn’t mean given me a burger at five am.

Guess I will have to try elsewhere. Which is getting harder to do these days with all the places I’ve tried and aren’t open that early.
But I’ll keep trying providing they don’t lock the doors on me again.

NOON

How come we can fix noon to happen other times? Yeah, is that possible? I mean who made it a law noon has to come just at 12:00?

I think it was a dumb idea. Because to me I don’t think it is fair that is the only time you can have lunch and call it lunch.

Well that is the way it seems to work. And I don’t like that part. I want it to be up to me when I have lunch.

But dang it, first I got to get an approval. From whoever approves such stuff. Must be wherever Father Time hangs out.

I have no idea where that happens to be. I bet it is somewhere nice. Yeah, I can imagine he has lots of fun.

And I imagine he sure doesn’t bother with you know having lunch only at noon. They do call it the lunch hour.

Now what if we sort of made it lunch day? See that sounds so much better. Yeah, I think it is far more far.

But then I wonder if Father Time has some kind of email address? You know to accept requests.

I could see that as a good deal. But then I guess that will be something I can work on when I find out where he is hiding all the time.

Has to be somewhere not on any regular map. Gee I wonder if he has his own zip code? Or even own time zone?

Well seems fair to know this stuff. But I don’t know, I don’t reckon he like makes it public either.

Imagine he wants to avoid the crazies. Those who would ask him stupid questions. Don’t you just hate that?

I would. And you can imagine all the questions he might get. None I would care to answer though.

But that is okay. I’ll just be happy to fix this noon deal. Just be able to walk into some burger joint at six am and get some fries for lunch.

Do it without lots of headaches too. But then I don’t know if that will work right away. Hmmm, coupons would help I reckon.

Just wonder where I would get them?

SWOON

I don’t understand this swooning deal. Really, have to think it is some weird deal. Only seem to happen to ladies.

And when they also are listening to certain music or seeing some full moon. I sure hope this swooning stuff ain’t hurtful.

I mean I don’t’ want to you know have some lady decide to go wacky on me and do something crazy. It could happen.

But I have been lucky so far. Isn’t been a problem. I do watch out from time to time when I go out in public.

Yep, there are ladies all over the place. And you can hear lots of music. I don’t want some lady ending up having a swooning fit and me getting blamed.

Yeah, that would be awful. You just never know when they will go crazy like that . I just don’t want to get in trouble about it.

That is not a good thing. Since you never can be sure what will happen if you get blamed for this stuff.

But then I reckon you know some just can’t help themselves. I heard a couple of ladies talking about that time of the month.

Yeah, not sure what that means, but well sounded awful. I figure this swooning deal just comes over them in some way.

Sure don’t want to be part of that. Not if I can help it. I get that is what the PMS thing means.

Probably stands for Predictably Monthly Swooning. Sure wish they had a way to undo if they could fix that.

But then I guess I am also happy it ain’t me. Yeah, I hope they can find a cure for this thing.

Boy would be good for the ladies. Well, I suppose they will work on it. Not me. I don’t want to risk even catching it.

Could be too dangerous. Might end up doing something crazy. And I do enough of those things already.

Well in the means that I will just be cool and not worry about it much. As long as I don’t have to be around ladies when they go this PMS thing.

Hmmm, I wonder if they should wear signs? Just a thought I guess.

NO PROBLEM

One thing I know with this is that it will be a problem. The more somebody says this the more you know it will give you a headache.

Found out this the hard way. Dealing with too many jerks. The ones that always tell you things are no problem and they are.

But that is the part that you have to learn. Too many fibbers out there. Oh yeah, a whole lot of them.

Which is fine if you know it up front. And I sure try. Yep, really do have a fun time sorting that part out.

Can be a pain though. I mean the fibbers don’t wear signs. Not like the admit it. Nope, never will do that.

That is the bad part. These dudes love to be sneaky. And the only time you find out what they are like is when it comes up later.

But that is often too late. By then you have made all your plans to expect junk that will never happen.

Now what is really a crack up is when they tell you junk that is not even close to true. Yeah that really sucks.

And it is too bad that they just can’t stop being jerks. And well I guess that ain’t very likely.

But I do my best to take care of this problem. Only problem is my bat just wears out at times.

Still we do have to do what we can. We are just in that position to be sure that we don’t let them get away with it any longer.

Nope, the only way I figure to stop this is to make an example out of somebody. Otis is big on the example thing.

Yeah, he will always talk about it. But he just has this crazy idea that this is about telling them about it.

Which is fine I guess. But sure don’t stop them from doing it again. I know, because this is what I found to be the case.

So I let him talk to them. Afterwards I go pay them a visit with my bat. Sure am glad that I get to do that.

Yeah, doesn’t stop the problem, but sure makes me feel good.

GUNFIGHT AT THE OKAY CORRAL?

I think somebody must have had something funny to drink on this one. How can you call something okay that ended in a gun fight?

Unless they were using water pistols and sponges. Then maybe it might work. But I hear this wasn’t like that.

Now from what I understand this involves a guy name Why A Burp and also somebody named, Doc Holler at the Hay.

They got into this ruckus with some dudes named, Clamp on. With a name like that you know the were shutting something.

Anyway it must have been some fight using those guns as boxing gloves. Hard to imagine how that would work out.

Oh well glad it wasn’t me. And then afterwards I heard they went to some place where they had lots of tombstones.

So you figure there was a mortician involved in it somehow. But that is okay too. Hope they didn’t you know have to pay for them.

I hear they are expensive. And who needs that cost? Now in any case I do have to wonder why somebody thought this was okay.

I mean I just can’t help wondering what some people think is cool. Well okay pretty much covers it.

Now personally I don’t know any corrals around where I live. You know not much need for them here.

Nothing we got needs to be corralled. Guess it is a good thing. When you are need of something being boxed up.

Still not sure that they need to start a fight there. Unless maybe they were bored and needed some attention.

Well this did happen a long time ago. Like more than ten years. So I reckon that Wyatt person is retired by now.

Maybe he will write his life story soon enough. Then he can share all about this corrall in a way that makes sense.

Never heard what kind of doctor that other dude was. Wonder if he still is doing the doctor stuff?

Guess I will have to find out.

ANY OBJECTIONS?

What is the deal with this? I heard of it the other day when watching this movie. It was about lawyers and trials and such.

And this one lawyer kept saying I object a lot. I guess he didn’t like what was going on.
Seemed kind of strange.

I mean I would have figured the person on trial would have done most of objecting. Really they would have no reason to like it.

And that judge could have objected to all the time being used up for the trial. Plus the jury would have had a reason to object to the whole process.

Heck, they would all have been in a position to object. Yep, you would think that would have made sense.

But the only one who got to object was that darn lawyer. Like he was special or something.

Not sure how though. I mean he did wear a nice suit. And had a briefcase. Which is fine.

I’ve seen lots of people in suits with a briefcase. And they all seem like they feel they are extra important.

But how come it made a different in court? I mean shoot if that dude didn’t object all the time the darn trial wouldn’t take so long.

Well nobody seemed to be willing to change that stuff. And that sure seems kind of unfair in my view.

Heck, I wish they would give me a chance to fix that problem. Yep, I could be happy to help.

Well don’t reckon anybody wants my opinion. Not in court at least. I thought I could go down and help though.

Which would be cool. But not sure I would get much of difference. However, might be fun in and shut that darn lawyer up.

Well might go down there sometime and give it some thought. Could be fun. Yep, I won’t mind trying it at all.

But then I reckon it is a matter of whether I can find a suit. And a briefcase. They don’t give them out in boxes of cracker jacks.

Now that would really be amazing.