READY OR NOT

I do not like this option. It is when something is going to happen and you don't get a say in it.

As for me this sucks. Mainly because it happens to me with work. There are places this happens where it is no big deal.

Like at our apartment. No big deal there. I mean our landlady is always changing junk. But is it no big deal.

Such as when she makes up these new rules about what we can and can not do. It is not too bad considering it normally involves things we don't do.

The other day she decided to give us this new set of rules about keeping dogs. Had all kinds of new details on who big they could be and what not.

Might have been okay if we even had a dog. Or were thinking of getting one, but we weren't.

But she felt we better no just in case. So you never know if we ever decide to get one then I guess we won't have any questions.

Except perhaps on the part about needing a flee collar. I mean I have no idea where you even find a flee, let alone when if you have a dog you have to worry about getting a collar for some flee.

Well that is enough for me. Honestly I just don't plan on getting any mutt to bring home that will have to have some kind of flee for a buddy.

Just sounds really strange if you ask me. You know they are weird anyway when you think about it.

I mean dogs really do strange things. At least I think they do. I can't think of anyone else that goes around sniffing butts.

I reckon I might not say that about you know old rat boy Junior. He might do weird junk like that.

I'm sure not going to bother asking or trying to find out. Just don't sound like a good idea.

Oh well I will just stick to my idea. Which is no dog. Unless it is a hot dog. Them are good and no fleas.

Can't complain about it. Nope a little mustard and a bun and it is heaven. Not a burger, but it will do.



Thought for the week: "Why is it the one's who say have a nice day never care if you have a nice day?"

BREAD AND BUTTER

Who eats toast without butter? What kind of sick person thinks that is cool? Not me. And you can be sure that is not a good thing.

However, I have of people, strange ones to be sure that have stuff other than bread with their butter. Stuff with weird names likes croissants. Sounds like crust that got ants added to it.

Then there are those things called bagels. That to me sounds like some mutant dog. And people them with cream cheese. Which really sounds weird.

Plus the stuff must be pretty expensive since they add locks on them too. Is that a good thing?

Honestly whatever was wrong with good old toast? Did it commit some terrible crime or something we needed all that other stuff?

Now as for bread all by itself, well shoot who can't love a sandwich or too? That's like a law I think.

But then toast is for like breakfast or the meal in between breakfast can lunch call brunch. However you just can beat a sandwich to help round out a real meal.

Course it is never enough for a whole meal. Kind of needs some help. Which is like you know when you get to have a ton of potato salad and chips.

Unless you are talking about something such as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then that is a whole different matter.

I mean with peanut butter you can add so many cool things. Like fudge sauce and bananas and potato chips, ice cream and marshmallows.

Heck the possibilities are so great. I love just thinking about them. Makes me drool to imagine.

Oh yeah, I sometimes add butter too. Don't want to risk offending any butter people. Otherwise they might get nasty and put some in my milk.

Came across of that stuff once. Made was is strange tasting. And it sure don't work on toast either. Makes it way too soggy.

But at least chocolate syrup helps. True with that buttermilk stuff it sure took a lot to make it taste okay.

Actually, after a couple of sips, I just toss out the milk and drank the syrup. But then that is one thing I won't make the mistake about next time.

GRAND OPENINGS

Well I know these are suppose to be grand. Not sure exactly what makes them grand other than the are about stuff being opened.

Now that does sound promising in many ways. But I got to admit that this is something I do wonder about.

I mean how come they say it is a grand opening, but don't let you go wherever you want? Open should be open right?

Not over at the mall. Nope them guys just don't tell it like it is. Oh they do take time to you know make it sound cool.

But it never works that way. Nope, I wish is did though. You know so you could be sure to check whatever you wanted.

Them people ain't nice about it though. I mean grand opening to me should include stuff on the shelves.

Yeah, those are grand in my book. And bags of chips when they are open are even more grand.

But do you think those creeps would let me to do that? No way. They expected me to pay for them.

Now that really sucked. They didn't say a darn thing about paying to open a thing. Where is the grand in that?

Well let me tell you I sure did point that out to them too. Those dudes are going to get away with that junk while I'm around.

And if they ever let me back into their store you can be sure they will know I'm not going to fall for that again. But I will keep my scissors ready.

Then let them try and stop me. As for the bags, shoot what good are they if you don't open them?

Just wasn't easy to get them to appreciate that part. And let me tell you that is even worse when you are talking cans.

Yeah they really get upset if you carry a can opener. Heck I didn't complain they were open already.

Funny how some people get such crazy ideas. Yeah it is so dang stupid the way they act. Really does piss me off.

I do the best to smarten them up, but they don't listen. People!

SINCE WHEN?

Yeah, that sure is what I would lie to know. This happens when somebody decides to you know change the rules and not tell you.

Only they never admit it. So instead they make it sound like it was always that way. Which can really bum a person out.

This is when it sucks. For you are all set to do something and thinking you are cool and then they sneak in there and change junk.

But let me tell you it sure doesn't do any good to complain. Listening to them give you all their lame excuses just don't improve things for me.

In fact I really get more stressed out. Because sometimes not only do the rules change, but the job too.

Which makes it even more frustrating. Let me tell you that is definitely not cool. I sure don't enjoy it.

I guess some think you are supposed to though. Otherwise they wouldn't keep doing it. And since it happens a lot they must really think everyone enjoys this.

Now I ask you is that really a good thing to you? Do you like having your whole day turned to crap?

Not me. And let me tell you that is how it feels. You know you get all set to do things in a cool way and somebody gripes.

Then we really have a problem. It becomes like a knucklehead convention. And the only ones who show up are morons.

This is a good thing? Not to me. And let me tell you I ain't met anyone so far that feels it is good either.

Nope, you can be sure that if we get to vote on it then the vote will not be in favor of stupidity. It has to be the smarts.

And changing crap that don't need to be changed is just down right dumb. I sure didn't vote for it. Nor will I.

Yeah, I sure hope they get that part straight. Because there is no way I plan on doing a darn thing different without warning.

So there! Now that ought to do it. Not sure what it will do, but I bet it will do it. Yep, my mind is set.

All I got to do is convince everyone else.

GOOD TO THE LAST DROP

Now this doesn't work for me in some things. Works good for stuff like milk and pop. Root beer really works great that way.

But when you are talking about something like you know gas, that is a different story. Because a car won't run on just one drop.

Believe me I found that out the hard way. If you don't have a whole bunch of drops forget it.

I use to think that the E on the gas gauge mean Enough. As in enough to get to the gas station.

But that darn gauge lies. When it got on E there was nothing left. Oh I suppose there was supposed to be something less. But there wasn't.

So that darn thing plain lied. And let me tell you that wasn't cool. Not when you are miles from a gas station.

Then you have to walk all that way to the gas station. Which is a big pain in the butt. I mean they do have them tanker trucks cruising around.

So why can't they stop and give you some gas? Even if you do try and get their attention they won't stop.

And then when you get to the gas station you have to buy some stupid can you will only use once to put gas in it. But you have to buy it, not rent it.

When you get past that point life really sucks. Because you go to lug that stupid thing all the way back to your car.

Then poor it in and smell that gas the rest of they day. Now I reckon what we need is more gas stations.

That way you won't be so far when one of the is not near where you gas gauge lies to you. Heck there are fire hydrants everywhere.

Maybe they could be used for such things. Yeah, I don't see why not. Most of the time they are just sitting there anyway.

Yeah, maybe I ought to see if the gas companies are able to do that. But that is all part of being me.

You know thinking of stuff nobody else remembers. Really is so hard being the dude who tries to help so much.

But somebody has to do it.

PLAIN

This can be a good thing. Ice cream can be cool when it is plain. Like vanilla tastes good when it served without anything else.

And milk is okay that way too. But it doesn't mean it is better than way. Just okay. Which is sort of the problem with the deal of something being plain.

Now that is of course the best part of something being plain. It can be improved upon. And I really enjoy that part.

People are funny about being plain. Some really are better when you dress them up. Not that bad, just need help.

Honestly, you just have to wonder how that work in terms of helping others. Actually, it would be tough for me to see how this would help if you didn't bother to like dress some people up.

Yeah, there are lots of people who need it. And they really can use lots of help. Which is where dressing them up helps.

Just wish they all felt it was a good thing. Some sure don't. They just get really nasty if you suggest it.

Like it is some crime if you suggest that not being cool. I will never understand why think it is a big deal to them.

All I want to do is help them out. If they are dull and not in need of anything, except a bunch of sauce of some kind then good.

Not that they will listen. I even have managed to at times to give them hints. Like showing them a can of fudge.

But then you can't get some people to take the hint. They just look at you like you are nuts.

But that is okay. I just think it takes a little time to get them to understand. And you can be sure I do try.

I do find it satisfying when this works. But you know it is a sad thing when it just don't work.

In any case I will do my best to keep trying. Maybe a nice sauce sneak attack would help. That might be a good idea.

I will have to check with Otis. He don't think my ideas always work. But that is okay I will still figure it out.

FANCY

Now this is one of those deals to me where it is a good deal in some cases. As long as it doesn't get boring.

Like when Otis and I go out to dinner. Now I personally enjoy the kinds of places where it doesn't matter what you look like.

My stomach sure doesn't seem to mind. It is very happy having food that is you know full of grease and when I don't have to put on a suit to eat it.

And how come some think this is a good deal? Is it supposes to make the food taste better? I've never noticed.

What I do know is we always end up once and a while going to some place that he says is fancy. And I know that will always mean I got to wear a suit and tie.

Plus I have to put up with weird stuff. They never have you know a menu board or drink fountain.

Which really doesn't make it other than a pain. First you have to flip through this menu and hope you can find something decent to eat.

They give you an explanation about the food, but no free samples. Like that really helps. How am I suppose to know by some crummy name if it tastes good?

And they never mention important junk like French Fries or burgers. They have sandwiches and this stuff like a French Dip.

Sounds like something getting ready to drive off some board. Which sure don't sound that yummy to me.

And who calls that a good time? But Otis gets hung up with having us go over to these places just the same.

I don't know, it seems to be important to him. I guess he thinks if we eat there it proves we are fancy too.

But that don't seem to work for me. I mean I don't mind eating. That is fun. But why does he have to complicate it?

Where is the good in that? I mean clothe napkins are cool I guess. And then the idea of more than one fork is okay too.

Nice to have a spare. But otherwise the food ain't better tasting. That sort of counts with me. And you can be sure I don't like any place I get stuck not being able to wear my beanie either.

FABULOUS

I know this is supposed to be a good thing. Only I'm not sure this is always cool as we would hope.

That is the one thing I hate. Too many dudes think they are experts on fabulous who really suck.

Over at STINK where I work this is an even bigger problem. Kind of hard you know to expect people who spend all day messing with garbage to understand fabulous.

It sure ain't going to include anything that smells. Well not in a bad way. Trust me that don't qualify as fabulous in my book.

And that is not going to be quite a good thing for me. I got enough trouble finding fabulous as it is.

In any case I do happen to enjoy when you get to find this. It just don't happen as often as I would like.

Now part of that is because fabulous is not easy to come by. If it were, it wouldn't be fabulous.

Kind of has to be special you know. Otherwise it wouldn't really be all that unique or very well, fabulous.

At least not to me. I think I would be happy to have it just dangling out there in a good way.

Like say when you go to the candy store. Oh yeah, there is nothing there I don't feel is you know fabulous.

How can candy be otherwise? Just can't even imagine it being other than a good and fantastic thing.

Can you believe there are crazy people how there that think stuff like vegetables are fabulous. Now that is scary to me.

I just have to get focused on that part. It really is so hard to imagine. I figure the people must have some kind of special problem.

But then life is so strange at times. You just sort of appreciate how it is all not going to give you as much fabulous as you would like.

However, that is okay. I manage to find it where I need to. And that is what counts.
Which is how I prefer to think. There is always going to be a fabulous out there somewhere.



THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:"If life were a post-it would it stick better with or without all the crap we get?"

MORE YAWNS

Does anybody find this to be a good thing? I sure don't. I like sleep and even some naps, but yawns for me always happen when I'm bored.

The other day Otis decided to take us over to this museum. I was thinking cool stuff. Like old junk, stuffed animals, basically the stuff you think will be great to look at.

So there I was totally jazzed and expecting a great Saturday. And I had dreams of fun like moseying around all the exhibits and then a great lunch.

It all sounded fantastic to me. Well right up to the point we got to the door. Then once inside oh man was I disappointed.

I mean this was a museum I guess, but for art. And they didn't even say his last name. Now all I know is this Art dude sure didn't have much of an idea of cool stuff.

All he had was a bunch of stupid paintings and some weird statues. Man talk about dumb stuff.

Anyway we moseyed around this place and I hoped to get a break somehow. But no such luck.

When we finally did finishing at all that stuff I was hoping lunch would make up for it. And Otis figured eating there would work.

So we went into that cafe or whatever you want to call it and I sure was hoping for a nice big burger. Or even some pizza.

But they only had sandwiches and some weird stuff called craps. Looked like a pancake. Only all mushed up and folded.

I tried it, but without enough fudge sauce it just didn't impress me. So I wasn't really impressed with it.

I'm just glad I didn't have to mess with that more than once. Honestly from now on i sure don't plan on spending another day in that place.

And if I do end up going, I'm not going to eat in that place. I might bring my own food. But judging from their pictures some of them looked some somebody spilled on them.

I doubt they would even notice. So I will be happy to take in a nice pizza. But given them crap things I might have to share.

And so I might leave it in the car till we get done. As for Otis, well he can go there all he wants.
I like seeing him pretend to hold in his stomach while he tries to impressed that lady he likes who works there.

MORE SMILES

Now I think we would all admit nobody wouldn't like more smiles. Really I like to smile. And even more so if it isn't forced like trying to cover up some pain from hurting myself.

Nope that doesn't work for me. But smiling sure does. As long as it isn't faked. Lot of that happens it seems.

I've noticed it, particularly where I work. And mainly around things like paydays and other such times when money is involved.

Now we do as grimefighters view our jobs as a sacred duty. So the money part is suppose to not be quite a big deal.

Only it sure doesn't work out that way. Wish it did. Somehow it is hard to forget that money is kind of big deal when you got shopping.

Them people at stores sure think it is a big issue. And they don't quite smile when you try to make a smile enough to pay for whatever.

Nope, that is not quite going to work with them. Try getting my boss to understand it too when he puts a happy face on our paycheck envelope and says it is our bonus.

Try buying something with that. I did try. I will admit that I gave it a shot. Well I did admit the dude over at the grocery store did smile when I showed it to him.

But I didn't end up feeling like smiling after he didn't exactly thank me for the effort. And neither were the two assistants smiling when they kind of decided to escort me from the store.

I heard somebody say something about how a frown is a smile turned upside brown. Yeah, like makes any sense.

Not to me. Now if you were say looking at stuff upside down and it had some brown in it I guess it might work.

But I'm not going to worry about that very much. No reason to. I will be just as happy if they just give me more stuff that makes me smile instead of happy faces.

However so far it hasn't worked. I am still waiting. Would prefer the kinds of things that end up with real smiles.

And outside of say a chance to bash some griminal it just don't give me much reason to smile. And who needs that?

Oh well, I am working on smiling more. Might even catch up with that one guy at work who smiles all the time. But then he also thinks there are aliens in the toilet, so....

MORE FUN

Now for starters you know with this that if it you are going to have more fun then you had to have some fun to start with. That makes sense doesn't it?

I don't think that should be hard to figure out. Only at times it never happens that way. And that sure does bug me.

Yeah, it just is unfair. You see somebody claiming something is more fun when it wasn't fun in the first place. Or it might have been fun, but you wouldn't know since you didn't get to have that fun.

Which all is confusing in terms of believing what some of these people claim. Now this really did bug me the other day.

I was over spending some time at this toy store. I really like poking through all the cool stuff and checking out the new stuff.

Now I got to admit that it does kind of piss me off when I see some board game that talks about be new and improve for more fun. Who gets the vote on that?

Nobody asked me about it? I figured I was entitled. I mean as least ask my opinion. Doesn't that seem fair?

Why I bet these creeps are out having all this fun by just playing with themselves. Yeah, really does suck.

Here they got some special fun and are hogging it all for themselves. Which really pisses me off even more.

Why can they spread it around a little? Is that too much ask. And then not take time to brag on it like we need to know how they are all that cool.

You know for people who make stuff for kids that is pretty darn mean. You would think that they could be nicer to little kids.

That would be a good thing. Kids don't need to spend all their time scratching themselves and wondering where the fun went.

Just ain't right. And we know it isn't a good thing. Well maybe I will take time to you know try to contact the toy companies and find out what the deal is.

Yeah, I sure hope they would explain. I don't think that is too much to ask. I just want them to stop disappointing.

But I doubt the will fess up on the fun not being all the much more fun though. Kind of think they won't bother. No fun for me.

NO DEPOSIT

Well now there are places this makes sense. Like in the bushes at the park. You sure don't want anyone going over their and doing their business there.

Nope that is one type of deposit nobody should want to find. Bet there is on interest on it either.

Sure can't imagine the bank taking some pile of crap as a good type of deposit. Might get really messy, not to mention smelly.

Now outside of that situation, I got to admit I don't understand this deal with no deposit. I've seen it with some bottles.

Like I would try to take a bottle and deposit it in the bank. Oh yeah, that is going to work. I don't know, just sounds weird.

But I guess somebody has tried before. I mean I saw that on enough bottles to assume they were going to try.

Why, I have no idea. In the first place, they don't fit in any ATM deposit slot. So you know it ain't going to work.

And I can't imagine anybody in the bank will be impressed. Plus how would they figure the interest?

You got to wonder about that part. Just doesn't seem to me it would be very much. Bet it is paid in glass too.

Can't figure what I would want with a bunch of pieces of broken glass. That just sounds kind of silly.

But maybe somebody else gets a benefit from the glass. Not me though. They can have my part.

Which I reckon they aren't worried about. For that would suck in my view. Which is the only way I can imagine it would work.

Oh well I guess that is a good thing for people with a hang up over stuff like deposits of weird junk. This is a good deal according to who?

On second thought I don't personally think I want to know. It just is too weird. And those people who like the idea are welcome to it.

As for me, well I will stick with money. It might not be as big as bottles, but it don't break either. A big plus and one I think I will stick with. The bottle people can have it all to themselves.

LIKING IT

Nothing wrong with this. I would rather be involved with something that is to be liked than hated.

No fun in that part. Really just sucks. And that is okay I guess. Works for somebody I suppose.

Only I'm not sure how much I can look at it and savor this being fun if it sucks. I mean if you get stuck with somebody else's idea of liking it.

Then that doesn't work. Well unless for some reason they like the same stuff. Then it might be okay.

However, if this is all something other than my idea of liking then what good is it? Honestly this is not a good thing.

So I have sort of set up my own idea of liking it. Even went so far as to make a list. Might have been nice if I could get others to appreciate this though.

Which would sure cut down on other problems. Like when they invite you over to like their like and it sucks.

You hate to be unkind you know, but far is far if their like sucks what good is it? I can't say they don't have the right to their view of liking it.

Just don't bug me with it if the idea doesn't work. You can enjoy it for yourself. I don't mind.

But why but me with it when it is lame? Really I don't want to complain, but some people are sure strange on that part.

Now liking stuff is fine. I can respect other's rights to their own version of liking it. Just don't bug me about it.

Really is funny what some think is cool. And normally you know cool sort of fits with liking something.

Unless maybe you are sort of talking like Reverend Analbe. Then it gets a little vague. You have a hard time being able to be clear on what he this is liking it.

Oh I know he is crazy about God. And I guess God is crazy about him. Just hard to you know really be clear on what else make his list.

He's not very good on making that part understood. Haven't ever been able to figure it out. Just sort of applies to you know something filled with jelly. Guess that is okay, as long as he shares.

HOT STUFF

This is a good thing at times I reckon. You know during the winter it is nice to have something warm.

Only if you do get it then it is a good idea if you know this happens when you want it to happen. If that takes place when you don't want then it sucks.

So you do have to be careful when talking about hot stuff. Because some people get rid of their own idea of hot which is not good.

I mean hot is good when you are talking like heat from a furnace. It is not good for example with ice cream.

But you got weirdoes out there that will think it is a good deal. They got some crazy idea of cool.

And you can be sure that does not work to the good in most cases. I personally have gotten into this habit of you know always making sure hot stuff is cool hot stuff.

You know the type that you will enjoy. If it is bad then forget it. And who needs that? Not me?

Which is fine for some strange people. They can have their soups and tea. Those are okay I guess.

But for me there is nothing better than warm jelly beans. A few seconds in a microwave and it is all the warm I need.

Which is enough warm for me on any given day. But getting them to do more than simply their idea of warm can be tough.

I'm working on it. I got my ideas I'm trying to see if I can help so many get with this program.

That is the one I found in this energy pamphlet. Kind of interesting. Just not all the big a deal.

I mean they were talking about solar heating. A good thing I guess only I think the sun might be too much heat from my end.

Especially when it comes to jelly beans. They are get warmed, but not charcoaled. And that is what the sun would do.

Oh well that is okay I guess. As long as I don't have to mess with them after the sun gets through with them. Not quite the warm I'm looking forward too. And if I don't like it then it ain't cool.

BLOW UP DOLLS

Oh my god is this a scary idea or what? I mean really who wants some stupid doll in the first place?

Btu do you need one that explodes? That is really scary. I don't even have a clue why somebody would want one.

I guess maybe as a gift for somebody you hate. Providing you didn't get blown up in the process.

That would be a big drawback to me. I mean whoever sells these things I sure hope you know they like include instructions.

As in which button you push to make it explode. And which you pull to keep it from blowing you up.

Sort of an important detail to not overlook. I know I would not care to get one of those things and not know where to shut if off.

Yeah, that would really bug me. I wouldn't care at all for that option. So I hope they don't ask you to like fake knowing what is important in terms of not getting all blown up.

You can be sure I would expect to know that part. Oh yeah no just guessing for me when it comes to being vaporized by some doll.

In any case, I am glad to be able to share this posting. I figure it is important to pass on stuff that is good for the public safety.

Yep, really does make me feel good when I can do that. Now as for where you might find one of these dolls, I have no idea.

All I know is that they are out there and that ain't a good thing. Well not from my view. Nope I am not going to volunteer that info.

No way anybody is going to blame me if they have their face blown off by some darn doll. And shoot it would just be like some moron to come over and blame me if that happen.

Hmmm, now that would be interesting though. I mean if they got no face they might not be able to see.

But I don't know, if some dude shown up at my door with no face, I imagine it would freak me out. And I sure don't want that.

So I reckon I will just be sure nobody in anyway tries to say this was my idea. Nope, I hope they will just mosey on to elsewhere and find some other kind of fun.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:"What is up with time sharing? Somebody got extra time to give away? Where did it come from?"

NO VACANCY

Okay I see this at times over at these motels. I think they are boasting. I mean they are there for letting you use their room and sometimes it is like they are almost sticking their tongues out at your saying forget it.

I was curious too one time. I saw this one motel and it sure was awful busy. Yeah they always had lots of people coming and going.

Weird thing was all the guys seemed to be named John and the ladies did some kind of magic acts because they kept talking about doing tricks. So I got curious on how come this place was so dang popular.

So I went inside to check with the clerk. He sure wasn't much help. Just kind of took on this goofy smile and never did answer my question.

He did offer to let me check on the room if I wanted. Said I could use it with the help of one of those ladies.

But heck those darn rooms were really expensive. They charged by the hour. Sounded like a rip off to me.

In any case, I went ahead and passed. I mean I like watching movies, and I guess there must have been a good thing to have them be adult. That means other that with cartoons I guess.

Hope they were action movies too. I really like those. And I heard somebody say there as lots of action there. So who knows.

Still I can rent a movie a lot cheaper than those rooms. And you two whole hours for less than they charge for one hour of that room.

Sure hard to understand how they can be filled up all the time. Guess they have lots of extra snacks inside.

Can't say for sure. Don't think I plan on finding out either. To me they are kind of weird there.

Which I guess is okay. As for me, well I'll stick with my tent when I want some other place to sleep than at home.

Yep, it is already paid for and I don't have to worried about them charging me when I put it up in the part. But I don't know, where it will be the moment I can find without television.

That ain't all that cool. So I will end up maybe taking in a movie first. That would really help.

ATTENTION PLEASE

I do get this part. I will admit that it is easy to understand. Somebody wants your attention. And saying please is nice.

But I ain't convinced that means they will necessarily spend time caring if you get treated that great. Nope, wish that was true, but it ain't.

That is the whole thing that really kind of frustrates me. People doing less than taking time to you know follow up on the attention part by being the please kind of person.

Nope it sure doesn't work out that way. Wish it did. It is more like the please is a way of distracting you so you won't notice they got something sneaky planned.

And that sure ain't my idea of a good time. Really not going to get all excited over that one.

So if they are going to be nice I think that is wonderful. And if getting my attention is to help with that cool.

Only problem is I don't find it like that very much. Too many are not behaving that way. Oh they got the sneaky part down.

Just not the kind of thing I figure will lead to smiles. And those are kind of important. At least to me.

In any case I do plan on being careful on that part. You know like really, really paying attention when somebody is talking nice.

Unless you are talking having some whacko who is both nice and sneaky at the same time. Really have to watch out for that one.

And you can be sure I will be careful to make sure nobody gets away with that one either. Boy is that a pain.

Oh well there are just too many strange people out there. They will act like getting your attention is for good reasons.

But in the end it will just suck. Best of all I will just not pay attention better to be sure the attention I'm getting is a good thing.

Kind of crazy, but you know how life is. And that is sure true in this point. Which all works out for the best at times.

When it doesn't forgot. That will never quite make things all smiles when you don't have to have them that way.

Which really ain't such a good thing.

SAME TIME, SAME GRIEF

SAME TIME, SAME GRIEF

There ain't anything less than joyful than to end up surviving some crappy situation and then find out it come up again. I really don't like that at all.

Not sure I know too many who do either. But it is still what I have to put up with over at STINK.

I wish there was a way to avoid it too. Oh man would that be great. Only that never works for the good.

They talk about it when something drives us not, but it don't keep things from being a pain another time. Still think there is a way to avoid it.

What sort of drives me nuts is how everyone agrees that mess ups suck. They do not make any of us happy.

And after some mess up they love to tell us how we are going to fix things so it doesn't happen again. Only it does anyway.

One thing I have learned is that memos don't help. Neither do procedures. Those are the things they talk about, which are suppose to make things better.

But somehow they never do. They just sound good. And if it ever worked out that way, even better.

However, up till now all I know is rules and procedures just had to the junk we have to do and then never improve stuff. Just another joy.

Well Otis calls it that. Only it don't sound very joyful to me. More like a pain. Still it somehow sounds better when he talks about it.

Honestly, I do wonder about it at times. You know Otis is so cool at talking in ways that makes things sound good.

Right up to the point they suck. Then it really is not a cool thing. And you can be sure I don't exactly enjoy that part.

But that is okay. I like when Otis loses it. He can really get so funny looking when he blows it.

I like him when his face turns different colors and kind of grumbles, but doesn't want to admit it. I really find that as a cool deal.

Well I guess you have to find the joy in life somewhere. And that is where I find it. Sort of. With the help of jelly beans.

A perfect aid for lots of problems that never get better.

LOST AND NOT WANTED TO BE FOUND

This is good stuff. You sure have to look forward to the times when you lost something and are happy because you don't have to worry about it ever being found.

That is because you really want to keep it lost in the first place. So it was sort of done on purpose.

Only you don't want anybody to find out. That way you end up not having to lie about it.

Which is sort of important since you don't want the fact that you dislike something others think is cool. Yeah that really is tough to pull off.

So instead you just kind of plan a way of saying "oops." And if you do it right then nobody gets upset.

True, it can be tough in some situations to make this work out right. Because if want you are trying to lose is a person that can really get complicated.

People notice such things as that. Oh yeah, they tend to get a little pissed when they find out you are trying to like dodge them.

Plus they can really be hard to lose. They just won't disappear that easy. Wish it was easier to do that.

But that is what I like about Otis. He has so many ways to inspire people to sort of fade away from being around us.

To start with he talks funny. Oh man when he starts using all those big words it can really drive some people nuts.

And they never admit they have no idea what he is talking about. They just tend to make some excuse for leaving quickly.

I like when he does that. Well with the right people. Doesn't work too cool with my buds. They get a bit upset when he talks funny.

But Otis can be real cool in other ways too. Man the times he gets some great inspiration and figures a way for us to like vanish works too.

He calls it vanishing. A little more fancy that when you call it hiding. That is what I see it as being.

At least we get a chance to be away from the ones that piss us off. And that is the best part.
Some really never need to know where we hide either. Might get too crowded otherwise.

EXPECTATIONS

Okay, I want what I want when I want it. Is that hard to figure out? I wouldn't think so. But it sure seems hard for some.

I mean what am I suppose to say? I love when I don't get what I want? Or please make my life suck.

Well I'm sorry, but that doesn't work for me. And I can't imagine too many would feel ti was cool.

So what is the problem then? Can't we get our act together on this? Come on give us a break and don't break out hearts.

None of this having specials at stores and the one thing you want they are out of when you get there. That totally bites from my view.

And while I'm at it, why don't they give us a break on the coupon deal too. If it says two for one, then I want two of what I want, not whatever they claim it ought to be.

Yeah, the shouldn't mess with my hopes that ends up with pissing me off. I think that is fair.

Really I want it all. I want truth in advertising and the stuff I buy to do what they claim it will do. Not stuff I get home and it doesn't work.

And if they ain't going to make it behave like I want then say so up front. A little honesty would be nice.

But they sure don't make it much fun when it all sucks. I really would like it to do what I want it to do.

That is the important part. Yeah, a chance to have it be what I expect. Now if I but a vacuum that is good for house cleaning. I want it to clean a house.

Which should include the whole house and not just on part. That isn't house cleaning. i mean it ought to be good for the roof right?

But them darn extension cords never reach that far. And nobody seems to be willing to explain how come.

Plus try to use it on the outside walls. Boy is that fun or what? Not to me. I sure hate when you try and it don't clean them.

Just another of those things that don't work right. Sure wish they would stop doing that . But guess you have to appreciate not everyone is going to treat the truth the same way, not matter how much you expect it.

HOW NICE

Yeah, this is supposed to be about good stuff. Well that is the idea. And it sure would be great if that is what it meant.

Only it doesn't seem to work that way. The people I know who say this never seem to have the same idea of nice that I do.

Makes me wonder if they are weird or something. Really kind of said when you have an idea of nice that sucks.

Which is really sad to me. I mean nice ought to be, well nice. And it sure ain't going to be nice if it is crappy.

Now I don't like to keep suggesting we got too many nothing, but problems over at STINK, but sometimes it sure feels like it. Wish it didn't.

I reckon that it is hard you know to have folks devoted to saving the world that don't once and a while have differences. You know even super heroes can have a bad day.

But then you do have to try and get beyond such things. Which might be easier if they didn't keep doing the same thing.

And that is the problem with the nice thing. They got some weird ideas of nice. I know i ought to be happy with any nice, but some are not as easy to enjoy as others.

In any case, I have learned with some people to know nice don't exactly get me all excited. And the top of the list that it fits for me is good old rat boy Junior. Boy he sure does seem to fit into my list a lot.

If I had a jerk championship he would win every time. I doubt he even would have to practice.

Yeah, that kind of sucks when his idea of nice only revolves around stuff like cheese. And it ain't that fun when he doesn't even share.

But then that isn't very surprising. With him nice means only nice for him. Like that works for the rest of us.

Well it sure isn't one that we all smile about. And the only good part is being able to sit back and imagine Junior underneath a diaper service van.

Oh yeah that gives us all a reason to smile. Wish I could have that kind of nice. But then Otis says it wouldn't be that good.

He's funny about such things. I'm sure how boss, Junior's dad would get used to having son that is a pancake.

COME WHAT MAY

Well the come part I understand. Yeah it means something is going to happen. Only not sure what.

The what is easy to understand also. A what is kind of thing or something. Not to hard to make sense of.

Now the may kind of bugs me. I mean you know that sounds like you need permission. Only nobody says where you get the permission at.

Seems like a far question to ask. After all what if you have to seek it from somewhere? Would be nice if they mentioned where.

Have no idea though on the place. There is not like may place around you can shop at for permission stuff.

If there is I'm not aware of it. Not anywhere I have found. But I can hope it is some place you can find easier.

Providing you know you have a chance to even know what the what part is. And that is kind of hard to always find too.

In any case, I sure hope that people wise up on this come what may business. Honestly, you would think that somebody could give a person a break on that part.

But that doesn't seem to be the case. People just seem to come up with this type of stuff and don't care if it is true or not.

And let me tell you that sure is unfair to those of use who sit down and have to interpret junk. Really gets so exhausting.

Well that is okay I suppose. Not cool, but okay. I do have my idea of what this means. And that is enough for me.

As long as I can manage that then I am happy. Which really is the part that I enjoy the best.

And hopefully that will amount to good news. Not sure it will make me happy though. I mean this isn't like a fair thing. Always way too hard to figure.

At least in an easy way. And let me tell you that sure is important when you are seeking to make sense of the world.

Which can be pretty darn tough when you have to work with stupid people who say dumb things. I cope though. Don't let it get to me. Just keep on savoring the smile that comes from knowing I ain't letting them get to me.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "Is there inflation on having it all?"

SOLAR POWER

Okay I get it. This has to do with the sun. Well I hope in a good way. But does this mean the sun is tired and needs help?

I haven't heard anybody say for sure. Kind of makes me wonder. You know like is it going to be a big deal or something?

Well is it? I do feel I have a right to know. If like the sun is going to blow up or something I would hope somebody would us know.

I haven't found anyone who has so far explained it very good. I call around and didn't find anybody who could say.

Oh they told me other junk. Kind of weird too. Honestly this just don't make any sense. I was sitting there and you know didn't figure out what the thing was with these cell deals.

I mean they had this stuff about you need them to make stuff go. Well I got news for them, you don't need any crummy cells from some tree to get things to work right.

I ain't falling for that. Not me. That would be silly. You can count on that not being the case.

I have no idea where they come up with that stuff. I tell you that you sure can run across a lot of people who are not prepared to tell you the truth.

It is like they think you are some kind of dummy. Is that fair? All I wanted to know is about the sun messing up and they give me stupid info.

And they really got strange by telling me how you know this sun stuff works on things like cars. Can you believe that junk?

I know I couldn't. Nope, it sure won't work for me. That will just suck And instead I am going to accept this is all hogwash.

I don't know where they keep this hog that needs to be washed, but I sure wish they get through washing it so I didn't have to mess with it.

Yeah, that will be one thing that will help. Just keep that over where it can get washed and not bug any of us.

Then they can take this whole solar business and try to have it make sense. And I'm talking about without them getting silly and mentioning cars.

As long as they don't bring that in it, there may be hope for this solar thing yet. I sure hope it works out that way.

ENERGY CRISIS

I sure don't like this idea. I mean I have never talked to energy so I got no idea what kind of crisis it would have.

I sure hope it don't like freak out and do something weird. I mean there is a lot of energy stuff lying around so hard to say what would get messed up.

Now I know I would kind of wonder about those things called energy drinks. I kind of wonder what energy would put in them?

And you know that could be a big concern. Like is this cool stuff or what? And if we drink it will we end up having a crisis?

I don't reckon I would be in too much of a hurry to find out. Nope that wouldn't work for me.

I can only hope to find out before this energy whatever freaks out or does whatever it will do. Got to wonder on that part.

In any case, I'm not talking any chances. I think I will just you know sit back and have fun.

Oh I might try to keep you know an eye on things like batteries. Make sure they ain't planning any weird stuff.

You got to wonder what it might be thinking. I know I would. Oh well that is not my problem.

Unless things get crazy. That can happen you know. And I sure don't imagine I will want to find out if I don't have too.

So I can only if this energy decides to have a big crisis it won't happen where I am. Must be some kind of place where it can go.

I guess it could like check the yellow pages. Yeah they got all kinds of good stuff in there.

But I hope if it needs to do that it won't bother me in the process. I got enough things to worry about.

And you never know when that will be better off forgotten. Hmmm, I wonder how tough it would be to accomplish.

Maybe I will give that a try. Yeah that would be a good choice. Let me see, have I forgot yet?

Not yet. Well I will work on it.

NATIONAL SECURITY

NATIONAL SECURITY

Okay do I need to be concerned about this? I mean is there some plot out there to steal nations?

Well is there? Seems like something I have a right to know. And let me tell you I sure do work and giving it lots of thought.

Now the first concern I have is how do you steal a nation? Wouldn't somebody be likely to notice it was missing?

I think I might suspect something if went outside one day and it wasn't there any longer. Those are the kinds of things you just don't forget.

So I sure would wish if somebody would make clear if this is going to become a problem. You know so it won't come as shock or something.

Now the way I figure it this would be a great thing to not overlook. Yeah, that would be good thing to find out before it is too late.

Now I also want to know who all is like in charge of making sure people don't steal a nation. I would sort of understand how the army dudes might be willing to take care of that problem.

Only I'm not clear on if they all have time. I mean what with all that marching and junk I can see where it might be hard for them to be on watch for nation stealers.

So I reckon the National Guard would sort of take care of it. Kinds of fits with their name.

I heard they are called the weekend warriors. So does that mean they only worry about nations getting stolen on weekends?

Sure would bother me. I mean shoot what would keep those darn creeps from sneaking in during the middle of the week and taking a nation.

Oh well I guess that is to be expected that some don't pay attention to that kind of detail. Heck I figured we need to do something.

Yeah, we need to be sure those crummy nation thieves aren't planning anything sneaky. And then we can put a stop to it.

Before we get too far away from making sure we that we are safe from these jerks. Yep, we can really take this serious.

Oh man I hope we don't need any extra bats. Yeah, this is not a time to run short on our whacking options.

MOVING ON

Oh what a joy this is. A chance to move on to somewhere else. Only it never seems to end up with the joy hoped for.

I sure wish it did. Man this is just not a good time when you want it to be. At least not to me.

I keep hoping though. Yeah, that would be so cool. I could live with that option. You know seeing stuff different once and a while.

Really would so cool when that happens. Only problem is that it won't happen when I want it to happen.

I keep hoping you understand. You know a chance to see a little break in the routine. Only that isn't how it ends up.

I always seem to get stuck with some jerk telling me that I can't do something. Like I get to really enjoy that part.

Oh well I just don't get it. I keep hoping things will improve, but somehow I just don't get the cruise down the road I want.

However, I keep hoping. Yeah, that is the fun part. Hoping is cool. It doesn't cost you anything and is fun.

The hard part is you know having it come true. Now that can be tricky. Honestly, just seems like it ought to be an option.

I should have given thought to the number of times that moving is a good thing. Even more so when I have to deal with old rat boy, Junior.

Man if there is one person that can inspire a need to leave and not come back it is him. I tell you he really sucks.

If ever a person needed a reason to not be around it is him. I think if moving were something we could do in terms of not dealing with him, we would.

But I don't get that option. Nope, I just have to let his stupid rat boy face ruin my fun. Oh I have tried to avoid it, but it don't work.

Well you can be sure I am working on way to avoid that. Not doing a great job at the moment, but trying.

And maybe one of these days it will even work. Hard to say, but I do have a moving company in mind just in case. However, the hard part will be getting Junior into a box. Hmmm, maybe with the help of some cheese.

HERE IT COMES

The important part with this is the it part. You know the part that tells you if the it is a good thing or bad thing.

Because you know the it might be like a bazillion dollars. Sure wouldn't want to miss out on that.

Now if you are talking about some big ugly jerk who intends to beat the snot out of you, forget it. I don't want that it. I wouldn't even want that for somebody else either

But then that is me. I just prefer the good types of its. I know, I'm being picky here, but what can I say?

Guess not enough to please some. Yeah, they would be happy messing with any its. And that is fine if you are that nuts.

But that ain't my option. I want to know the it before hand. Not surprises, not even on my birthday.

Unless maybe you are talking about Otis and he giving me the it. Yeah, he can be trusted. Well most of the time.

However he does get weird at times. If he is reeking from the scent of Spam then forget it.

Because his it is going to be some empty can of Spam. And who really needs that? Not me.

And I don't reckon anybody else does either. At least I would hope not I mean I sure will be extra careful when anybody else talks about an it.

Especially like if you were talking about Granny Potts. She is a sweet old lady, but so dang blind.

Anything with her could be an it. And you can be sure I'm not going to want to find out. And no way I want to be there if the it involves like dinners.

I don't like it when she makes something that is suppose to be tasty such as meatloaf and then it turns out to be a pillow or a shoe. That won't quite make me happy.

At least I have gotten her to stop putting gravy on everything. Makes figuring out the it a whole lot easier.

And outside of her, well there are a few other its I won't bother to mention. I would rather forget some of them. Less painful that way. And easier on the stomach when Truly Grimey is making the it.

BEATS ME

How come the stupid people who say this never want to be beaten? I do have to ask. Makes me think they are really weird.

I mean what else am I suppose to think when somebody says that? Well? I don't think it is a big problem to figure out.

Somebody invites me to club them and why should I disappoint? Oh yeah, I hate to not give them what they want.

So how come they complain then? But they do. You can count on it. That is one thing that you can expect for sure.

That is the part that really bugs me. Honestly, there just is not any benefit to having somebody give you the idea of something fun and then complain about it.

And you can be sure I don't exactly enjoy when this is so less than satisfying. However, that is okay.

Because the best part is knowing that I can look forward to not letting it ruin my night. Which is really a good thing.

I work extra hard to be sure I don't allow crazy people keep me from having a good time finding those who don't get confused on this whole deal of you know taking away my expectations. Yeah, that sucks.

So I have learned to focus my joy on the ones that do allow me the joy of such opportunities. Only they never mention it.

Nope, they often don't bother. I'm talking about griminals. Never heard them say, oh please beat me.

Wish it was that easy. But it isn't. Instead they just act like it is a big problem. At least they are consistent with it.

I mean no confusion there. Still do make me happy when I give them what they deserve. It might not be when I like it, but better than the ungrateful ones.

In any case I will be happy when this happens. For at least my bat got a work out. And that is really the fun part.

Speaking of which there is nothing more fun than when i get a chance to do this and as soon as I finish this I'm going to practice it Yep right down the street.

Saw a griminal there. Well think it was one. Not sure, but not taking any chance. I bet the priest's outfit is fake.

SWEET

Oh my goodness this is so important. Just the necessity to find the stuff in life that tastes great.

Because if it tastes like crap you ain't going to enjoy it. And that I know for sure. Just ain't my idea of a good time.

In any case, I will just keep with my own version of what is sweet and let the others do what they want. Yeah, that is what works for me.

Kind of a thing I enjoy a lot. Yep, I truly do love the idea of just doing what I want. None of this health food priority.

But then that is how I chose to view it. And let me tell you the view from the candy store is always a good one.

Well that is the way I'm going to handle it. I mean everyone is entitled to do whatever in that regard.

So if munching on something that tastes like cardboard makes you happy, then cool. It doesn't work to make my mouth drool.

Kind of big deal in my book. Yep if it taste bad then fun isn't part of it. And you can be sure I'm not going to be willing to change on that part.

Nope not unless they change to stop calling crude as good stuff. Who makes up these rules anyway?

Not me. I just don't have a need to waste my time with making up the idea that junk with a yuck quality is an okay think. And that you can count on.

Funny how people are crazy that way. They can be so silly. Just like to make it sound as if they are cool when they are nuts.

And there ain't nothing more nuts that seeing some weird people just being weird. They are so good at it. Which don't work for me in their way of looking at things.

But that is alright. You know you just have to go with the flow as they say. And mine flows towards the good stuff.

That is the most important thing. I just savor letting the people act goofy over such things.

Really is so much fun to watch. They think they are smart. I let them feel good about being crazy. Meanwhile, I just plod along and keep smiling. Because they are always going to be bored if you ask me.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK:"Freedom of choice doesn't seem to apply to taxes does it?"