YEP AND THEN

It is always the then part that seems to screw things up. Yeah that ain’t no fun. You just sit back and think all is yep.

So you can easily get pissed off by this. I mean really does suck. Just do dang frustrating to have to put up with this stuff.

Now the pisser really comes from knowing the then looms out there. Yeah, hate that part.

And I really am working on it. Just trying to find more of the yeps that don’t have any thens after them.

Oh yeah that is the fun part. Really is tricky at times. You know you just have to spend time figuring it out.

Well you can try. Sure wish I could. Man would love these times that I didn’t have them darn then things.

Only so hard to actually accomplish. I mean normally there is some dude who is involved with the thens.

Only they never tell you. They will not bother to mention how the yep is just a tease and they have some then behind it.

And you can be sure you will not get the truth from them guys. Nope that you can be sure about.

Well not the kind you want. And not in the way you want it. That is where the darn problem is.

You just have to take the time to be sure them darn people don’t bother to tell you all the facts. And that is the thing you need the most.

Yeah that is the part that I just sure am not going to fall for any more yeps that ain’t yeps without a then. No thanks.

Now that will be the part that you really do have to be happy about. And that is fine. I really do enjoy it.

I don’t know I don’t think that will ever work in terms of those darn things you can’t trust to happen.

Yeah, that is the part I will just have to work on like I said. No biggie got lots of things to work on.

But then that makes time pass quickly.

ALWAYS

Does this ever really happen? Just trying to you know figure it out. Yeah, I mean really don’t seem to be the case.

Nope, haven’t seen this at all. Sure nice to imagine. Yeah get stuff that don’t break down.

I would be so dang happy to find at least one thing that worked all the time. And didn’t like break down to often.

Now there are those darn deals called guarantees. They sure sound good. As long as you never have to use them.

Be nice if they really worked. But they don’t from what I can tell. Sort of frustrate to be sure.

Plus you never get it. I mean not for the good stuff. Only for stuff that you figure you won’t need it for anyway.

So first of all I want them to work. I want them to be something that actually makes sense too.

Yeah none of this whereas and other wrongs that are hard to understand. Nope that never works good at all.

So that is where I want them to do like say, if this don’t work you get it fixed for free. And then actually mean it.

Seems like a thing that is reasonable. But that is okay. And I will sure be happy to take the time to know it will be happy when it comes about.

Just ain’t fair the way it is so confusing. Yeah you go over to the place you bought something and the salesman ain’t even there.

Instead you get some lame and stupid service person who says he can’t help you. Oh that happens so often.

But I think I can fix this if they let me. What we need is to like take the time to have all guarantees cashed in at one place that would be nice.

We could like make them all fixed at the candy store. You could go in there when you got something broken and get candy.

Might not fix things but you would be happier. Which I think would really be a good thing.

Just have to get the candy people ready for change.

Thought for the week: "What can they have moment of silence when politicians kill you with lies?

TOUGH ENOUGH

I ain’t sure who is the one that decided what enough is in terms of tough. Boy sure hope they had to try and eat the steak I did.

Otis was in the mood for something different. Which always means us going off to some place fancy to eat.

I don’t mind at times. But there are occasions it bugs me. I mean he will pick out some place that sounds good.

Only sometimes there food sort of sucks. Well this time he wanted to go to a new steak house.

It is called Mikes Beef Heaven. Sure didn’t end up being a heaven. First of all we got there and it wasn’t busy.

But they asked us if we had a reservation. Which we didn’t. So they made us wait. Yeah that was fun.

Then the waitress came over with the water and menus. Oh man those were sure filled with weird choices.

They gave all the steaks odd names. There was the Halo cut. Shaped like some halo. Then this harp one.

Bunch of other strange ones too. Well I gave up trying to figure them out an ask Otis to decide.

Now we sat there and put up with the salad and all that good bread. Then the steak came on this gold colored plate.

All I can say is there idea of meat was different than mine. Man was it hard to eat. So darn chewy.

But Otis had this coupon so you knew we were going to end up eating it no matter what. Was I happy?

No way. Sure did not make me thrilled at all. But I guess it worked out okay. They were kind of aware we weren’t happy.

So she they gave a free dessert. It was not bad. You can’t mess up ice cream that much. Least it wasn’t tough.

Was glad for that. Wouldn’t want to try and add ketchup to ice cream. Hmmm, maybe on rocky road.

Well going to wait to find out I think.

WHOEVER

This is like whatever. A general deal that leaves you scratching you head because it don’t always make sense.

Because some knucklehead will drive you nuts in the process. I mean I need to know a dude’s name.

Not just somebody who is out there. Really isn’t cool at all. Like that can help me in some way.

Now this can really suck over at STINK where I work. Because the whoever stuff means anyone can get stuck doing a job.

Yeah that ain’t cool. I mean it is like giving them a free option to pick you even if you don’t want it.

And that is generally the way that crummy Junior does junk. It is his idea of being fair. Which it ain’t.

I wish I could say it was. But all it means is he’s going to make you suffer. Depends on how much he is pissed at you.

And the worst the job the more you can be sure he will say whoever. Like that really helps.

Oh it does for him. Yeah he is good at making that junk look good even if it sucks. Which don’t help.

Anyway we work on ways to avoid this. Yeah just have times when he has to pick someone.

Hopefully it won’t be me. But he won’t help that much. You can be sure of that. Yeah. He won’t like it.

Nope I have learned to brace myself for the times he does this. And Otis helps. We come up with excuses.

Now this is a cool game. And takes lots of practice. Not as much as I would like though. Otis is better about that.

But that is okay. I do love it when we have that joy of it working out so the other dude gets the mess.

And those others sure ain’t thrilled. Got to admit it. They sort of get bent out of shape over being stuck.

But guess we all need a hobby. And that is the one Otis likes.

PRIORITIES

I suppose this is a good thing to some people. I’m not sure I agree though. Because I don’t always get to set the priorities.

But I don’t reckon I would mind if you know they gave you a choice. Such as either this or that.

Only it never works that way. Instead you are just told this is what you do next. So you just get stuck.

And it never is fun or makes sense. Just ends up boring. Because you don’t need this for fun stuff.

It is only need for junk you don’t really want to do. Yeah that part is the one I figured out. Really sucks.

And it is always the dude who has nothing to do that makes up the priorities. Yeah you can count on that.

Do I like it? Never. Am I ready to enjoy them? No way. Just is one of those deal you know is going to happen.

Now that is the part I sure would like to change. First of all there is the deal with potty breaks.

I think they never give them enough attention. Yeah that is the think where they don’t worry about it for others.

Oh well not sure I want to like make this all something I have to tolerate. Yeah I want to fix this different.

I want some different priorities. Like for example more time for questions. Really, I think they never tell you that.

Oh it is like they shove a list under your nose and say do this. And you can’t even get a chance to go huh?

But it is okay if you like can have a chance to at least figure out what the list means. Really helps.

Only they don’t always let you do that. Just bugs me at times. I mean I would sure wish I had a vote.

Just one. You know the opportunity to have it all make sense. Then to take the time to sit down and go okay.

Just be happy it didn’t turn out stupid.

DONE BEFORE

People sure get bugged by this. Yeah they just move on to this silly point of acting like doing junk more than once is stupid.

Which is okay I guess, but I sure don’t mind. I’m all happy about it. Never will mind eating jelly beans more than once.

But that is one of those deals that you just don’t seem to get others to accept. What is the deal here?

Is it wrong to have fun doing the same thing? Not to me. I really don’t think that is counts if you are doing the same fun as a second time.

More like a repeat so it is the same thing you already did so just a continuation. Yeah not a before, just keep on doing it.

I don’t know I want to work on this. I want what they call a ruling. One of those deals that you just enjoy.

Now what bugs me is when you like are facing problems and somebody says let’s try this. And then somebody says it has been done before.

It is like that makes it a problem. You can take time to see if they were stupid about it or not.

In any case I sure want to set myself up with some way to make it all work. To take the options of done before and say it is a good thing.

Now not sure how to make that work for others. Yeah they are not cool. So I will take the time to work it out.

That’s what Otis calls it. When you know you like say it will get better even though it won’t.

But that is okay. I like the thought. Even if it isn’t always fun. Yeah, now that is because it means work.

And with Otis that involves taking out the trash. Doesn’t seem to matter if it really is good or needs it.

He just keeps saying you better take it out. So I do. Guess it helps some way just not sure how.

So we will work on that. Well at least he says we will. And that is the part I’m not sure about.
Maybe next time I take the trash out I’ll ask him.

CAN TAKE IT

Yep, take is a good thing. Love the idea. Just need all those times when you get this chance.

Now that is hard. Yeah you can’t always talk about the times when somebody else is the one doing the taking.

Now hopefully they don’t like take your stuff. Yeah, that you can be sure of. And that will not be cool.

But this is the part I am not going to like enjoy. I want the taking to be real. I want to go and find stuff and know I can have it.

Which kind of gets confusing after a while. I will never say it is not the good times when you can take it.

Hope this will be like something you can find easy. Not something you have to ask about.

Now the thing is I would like a map. Yeah some place that tells me all the take it places I can find.

Hope it would be so easy to just mosey around and pick up junk. And hope them maps are free too.

I mean if you have to pay for them that sucks. I mean sort of takes away from the whole process.

Yeah that would not be cool. And that would not be the reason I would want to vote for it.

Now the thing is I want this whole deal to move along in a good way. I want to take time to be clear on this.

Yeah let’s have all those take places listed so I can find them. No secrets or other stuff that aint true.

But then you never know when take might give you the map as a take. Yeah that would be cool.

Now what I want to do is find a place I can do this for the good times. To be able to take what I need.

In any case then I will take the time to keep on checking for the places like this. Yeah that is what counts.
And the take is good too.

HATE IT

Oh yeah, that is something nobody wants to hear. I mean they sure ain’t to hear you say that.

But that is okay, yucky is yucky. And a fart stinks no matter how much you claim you are smiling.

There are just weird people out there. They would make you like crap. Because they are crazy.

Well they are too me. And I sure don’t want to end up being like those folks. Just too boring to me.

In any case this I sure don’t plan on being around when I got to fudge about this hate deal. Really that ain’t my style.

I guess that is up to the person. All I know it ain’t fun to fib. Not about the stuff that pisses you off.

Yeah lots of that crude going on and you have to wonder why. Where is the cool in that? I sure don’t see it.

Now what is extra dumb is all this stupid junk of faking it. Yeah now I do have to wonder.

I would rather go crazy. Just make it all whacky. Only way I can figure to be sure that I move on.

Which is to the ice cream parlor. Nothing better for being angry than some ice cream. Yep, love it.

And now I am going to move on to the hot fudge sundae help. They are always so cool. And the more I am angry the more I eat.

Sometimes I need four or five. Now that is really good. Yeah I sure love that part. Make being mad great.

Course I have to admit sometimes I fake the angry part to get the ice cream. Only that will never in any way be a bad deal.

Just can’t tell Otis that. I have to work on it. Because it takes practice to convince him I am mad when I’m not.

But sugar helps. Really makes all the difference in the world. Whether I get a full tummy or not.

Which is the best part.

GOT TO LOVE IT

Yep, this is supposed to be the kind of stuff where you get all excited. I can feel so happy over that.

Now all I got to do is figure out the way to get the stuff that I really love. Boy is that a chore.

Oh I do get like jelly beans. But not all the time. And so there is other junk I wish I could have more often.
T
Like for example having more time without rat boy, junior being a rat boy. Now that would be so cool.

Only I think he is a mind reader. I mean he seems to know when to be sure an act totally like a butthead.

Now that would be a great blessing. Otis mentions that word a lot. Suppose to be something cool.

Kind of hard to always see it though. I mean really when stuff ends up being crappy don’t see blessed.

I am working on it though. Really trying hard to appreciate how this to work out in a way that I enjoy.

Now I suppose it is all good. That is what Otis says. Really have to wonder when it seems crappy.

Which really I try to not think about enough. So that is part that I am not going to let bother me as much.

What I am going to do is work on making sure I take my bat when it is needed. Really now god to love that option.

Otis don’t seem to like it. But that is okay. I just practice more when he isn’t around. Yeah that is fun.

Try to keep things simple. Which is so much fun when you don’t have to explain it. Just go what a lot.

And that is what I enjoy. Yep peace is the big joy here. Can’t complain on that one. Just have to work on it.

And I do. Maybe not like the times I want to. Only when I don’t get caught. But then that is good enough.

Got to love it, yep a smile with wood.

SO I HEARD

I don’t like hearing this. It means somebody heard something that you didn’t. Like they got more friends.

And that is like them bragging about it. Which really is so darn annoying. I know they got friends.

But don’t shove it in my face. And then act like they know all kinds of junk nobody else knows.

Now if they would just say like, hey, you want to know something, it would be cool. I would love that. They never do that.

They think that it is so cool. And it drives me nuts. But let me tell you that it ain’t. Not to me.

But you know I am trying to fix that. I am always like checking on ways to learn new junk. Yeah need that.

Oh I got lots of options though. Yeah, I so like to check out the news and look on the movies.

Then there are the radio talk shows. Always lots of cool things there. Plus the internet. Really great stuff there too.

But you know with the internet kind of hard to always get to all the place they talk about. Some aren’t nearby.

Which is where you need to have access too books. And that means places like the library.

Course you know they are so frustrating to deal with at times. Got this thing call the Doo-he dec-i-maul system.

So I reckon that is about dudes and not ladies. So something use guys have to use. And that is okay I reckon.

Why ladies don’t have to use it I can’t say. It does seem like most of the ladies are librarians.

So perhaps they get a break on that part. That is okay too I suppose. Only I would like a little easy way of thinking about junk.

They put all that junk on cards. And then you got to look all over the place for the books. If they aren’t checked out.
Oh well that is the what you live with I guess. Knowledge can be such hard work.

DOING ME A FAVOR

Okay favors are nice. They are cool. And you have to wonder if the times they happen are good or luck?

I only wish you know that people were more inclined to like make a favor a good thing. Base it on stuff that makes sense.

Sure is hard to tell at times. Really some people got some weird ideas on favors and let me tell you that is hard to take.

Yeah I do think a favor is something that gives you a headache. Really doesn’t work in my view.

But you got some like that. Oh man and the worse is Truly Grimy. Now you might thing I was going to say Junior.

Well he is good at it, but she is um worse. Can’t say better. Just not good to be sure. Yeah you got to wonder.

I mean she might mean well, but she sure don’t act that way. I’m sorry, but feeding you crap ain’t a good thing.

Well not to me. She could make anyone sick with that crude she calls food. I mean if it turns your stomach it ain’t good.

And let me tell you she doesn’t have a clue on that part. She drives me nuts with them casseroles.

And for some reason our boss, Dr. Hemoglobin lets her keep cooking. Like it is reward, which is ain’t for the rest of us.

Boy not unless you enjoy being sick at your stomach. And it gets worse because she then takes the time to make it even more crappier.

Like that is helpful. And if that wasn’t bad enough then our boss makes it worse. He will take the time to let Junior help.

Talk about nuts. I mean we either end up with Truly’s crap to eat or Junior’s cheese. And it ain’t the best kind.

He keeps making sure that we get that darn Limburger type. Now it is bad enough we got a Mayor by that name. But he don’t stink like that cheese

We do work for STINK, but don’t mean we like it smelling that way. Trying to get Junior understand that is hopeless.

Which we do try to fix by making him eat Truly’s food first.

PACKING IT IN

Now the way I see it packing is a good thing. During those times when you can sit back and smile.

That is how Otis describes it. I’m not so sure it works that way. Oh we do pack lots of stuff away.

More my stuff it seems. But you know I hate to get rid of junk that I may have to use some day.

Otis don’t see to always appreciate that part. I mean some stuff really can surprise you in terms of what you can do with it later.

Now like socks. Otis likes to get rid of the old ones. And if you happen to lose one even more so.

But the one missing one could show up. Yeah that could happen. Now maybe not when you expect it.

But eventually. I really am a believer in that kind of thing. This idea of eventually really is cool.

I mean it is kind of like hope. Like maybe that sock went on vacation. Got bored and needed a break.

Then comes back later. Well you can’t say it won’t happen. I know it hasn’t happen yet. But there might be a first time.

Yep you can never say for sure. So better to not be so much in a rush to get rid of that one sock.

However Otis just wants to get new ones. So he says good bye to the old ones and then starts to toss them away.

But see I go and rescue them. Got a whole bunch of them in boxes. And when the time comes that we can find the others boy will Otis be surprised.

True it has been several years. And sure wish that would happen. But maybe one of these days.

Yeah Otis says that a lot. Guess it would be cool if those these days really happened. So far not though.

Well when they do I am ready. Oh yeah that will be so cool. Not sure when though. Really can’t say.

But when it does I can say I told you so just like Otis does.

ME, MYSELF AND ME

Now maybe it is just me, but I think this is pretty darn silly. I mean really is there anyone that is really three dudes at the same time?

Well I guess there must be some. Best I remember calling some place once and asking to talk to this one person.

The dude who answer said nobody was there but, me, myself and I. But then I remember that thing about using me or I so I figured he made a mistake.

Which is rather one of those dumb things to me. I just figure some people got problems with thinking right.

And that is where you got to help folks. Yeah they really are so out there in terms of what they think.

Guess you can go to school for that kind of think. Hope you don’t have to pay extra though.

That would be kind of sad. Yet, with school you never know. They do have all kinds out there.

Maybe it is like a college on the internet. Yeah, they have some strange ones on there. Really bizarre.

I know I was checking out the internet the other day. And some of those places were really amazing.

Man the degrees you can get for the right money. Oh yeah I’m thinking about getting a few of them.

Haven’t decided if I want to be like a doctor or minister or both. But not sure if I want all that trouble.

I mean you know I might have to wear a suit. And I don’t like those. Plus it might mean spending more time with the Reverend Analbe.

And sure don’t want that. He’s got too much going on to need me as a helper. So I don’t reckon I will mess.

In the meantime I might do one of those doctorate deals. You never know when those would be a good thing.

Hmmm, wonder if I could like get free lollypops and balloons with them? Yeah that would be cool.

Oh well now I can see on that part.

DOING IT

I know some would put the emphasis here on the doing. But you know it is the it that really counts.

Yep, I can tell you right now that if you don’t have the it part down right the rest don’t count. Not at all.

Oh you can be sure if you don’t work on it right then you are in big trouble. But that you can fix.

By being dang sure the person doesn’t like make up some crazy it before you get to the doing part. Now some forget it.

Yeah, that will never work. Really does get hard with some folks. They can get all excited and make it sound like there it is perfect.

Only they get so excited they never take time to explain it good. And that is the bad side. Well it is to me.

So before I go and agree to any it-ing then I just you know take time to ask a few questions. Yeah I really do.

Like have them describe it. Really helps. Sometimes they will just get to vague. And that really sucks.

Seems like it just is the part they never get straight. Really get it all murky and strange like I should just trust them.

So anyway the best part to this is when you have them show you the it. Or when the did the it before.

Yep, really is crazy. I’ve sure seen some dumb stuff pass for an it. You can be sure it may be something you won’t like.

Because people sure got ways of making dumb sound smart. And I don’t’ like getting stuck in that area.

Nope I don’t want it. No way I buying this come and let me show you my smarts and it is insane.

Seen it enough. And really ain’t going there again. Unless I get to take like something fun.

Which is my bat. That way the it can be messed up if I want. And then I can fix it big time .

Well my way of it-ing.

SPELLING IT OUT

Did your parents ever do that to you? You know where they something, but spell it and not just say the word.

You just got to wonder on that part. Really I wonder when somebody does that. Makes me wonder if like they forgot how to spell it.

So they figure spelling it will make it all better. Not sure it works. Not that I can tell at least.

But then I reckon you know that is the part you have to figure that people really can get weird at times. I mean honestly is it supposed to make sense?

Well sure doesn’t to me. But then what can you do? People can be strange if they want. And can’t blame them I suppose.

However, I don’t plan on doing it myself. Nope I’m just happy to like use words as they are.

No messing around with any of this spelling stuff. That never works very good from my view.

So I ain’t going to waste time on this deal. I figure that is a good thing. And I will be very happy when it happens.

Now all I have to do is get others to stop this spelling it out business. Might be kind of hard though.

Because it also means them strange dudes who like to say they are going to spell something out for you, but don’t. Yeah, that bugs me.

Really when they say let me spell it out for you they don’t. Oh they say a lot of words, but don’t spell any of them.

Which is really annoying. Yeah, why even say it. I just figure they forgot how to spell it. But didn’t say so.

Oh well that is another reason to not do that. Yeah they can really make it crazy. And I know that I will like to change.

Well not sure how. But I guess I could lug around a dictionary. Might get a pain though. You can’t say for sure.

But hope it does work that way. Well guess I will find out eventually. Not sure when, but eventually.
And that is good. Hope so.

STOP IT

Yeah that is good advice. Just knock it off. Don’t do it again. Which you hope is the kind of advice somebody cares about.

Now what can I say? Sure ain’t easy to get people to sit down and accept this as true that is so darn frustrating.

Yeah, really got to spend time trying to figure out a way to make this all work. Just get people to wise up.

Really so dang hard to get folks to always understand no even when you explain it loud and clear. Sure have tried.

But that is another of those deals that don’t always work the way you want. Yeah being a grimefigther does make me try.

I mean us super heroes really do have this as part of our lives. Well that is what I do though.

Which is fine that I have to do that. Even better when it really works. I really enjoy that part.

I have been working on a way to improve this. Otis calls it inspiration. Yep, a chance to spend time making people change.

Only with this inspiration deal it is in a way where they really want to. The want to part is the hard part.

And there sure are so many ways you need to inspire this. Some ain’t even painful if Otis is right.

But you know this is where I got to like take time to give the person a chance to change. Yeah, that is what I’ve heard.

Anyway I am not going to give up. I am going to be sure I study up on this deal more. Yep going to do it.

Now where I look is the hard part. Really just not sure I can when this will work. I mean can figure out the strategy.

Well that is what I heard it called. A deal where you plan things in order to get certain results.

The thing you know that sounds cool and all, but the thing is haven’t got all the details. But will eventually.

Have to maybe check somewhere that doesn’t use bats for talking.


THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "How cheerleaders are always broke? They are always saying gimmie this and gimmie that? Should they get a raise?"

CROWD CONTROL

You know I have checked my remote and haven’t seen this button yet. I know it has to be there.

But so far just ain’t noticeable. I mean I was watching this program on television the other day.

And you know it they were talking about crowd control. And since it was the television I figured it had to be on the remote.

Oh I even checked the back. I figured you know that perhaps it was with the batteries. But not there.

In any case I am still not giving up on this. I was over looking at the store and saw what they called an universal remote.

Now I figure if it can control the whole universe it had to work on a crowd. Not sure though it if works on the universe if I want to mess with just a crowd.

Yeah why bother with people when you can control the stars? I do have to wonder about it though.

I mean do aliens have these? And will they have like the type with lasers? Yeah that would not be good.

I don’t know I just want this to make sense. I mean I don’t want to get all excited that you know I might take care of star and nothing happens.

Hmm, I wonder I they have atomic batteries? Yeah, I would think that would be really scary.

Well I suppose that won’t happen to often. I can’t imagine they will share. Hmmm, now you do have to wonder about it.

I mean what if them darn aliens come down here and screw up our television? What if they like make all shows be about slime?

Gosh that could be awful. So hope they just spend all their time just working with stars. And those spaceships.

You sure can’t enjoy the idea of them messing around with us while they can cruise the universe. I don’t.

Nope it don’t make me happy. So I need to find some way to make this universal remote alien proof.

Guess I’ll check the warranty.

TASTE

Ah, you can’t be a good taste. Those wonderful flavors that you just live to eat or drink. Yep, you can beat it.

Providing somebody doesn’t bug you. The types of dudes who lie and want to steal all the good stuff.

But you know that is the way it is with some people. Just plain jerks who never can be trusted.

And the worse thing is when they tell fibs about how things taste. Yeah that sucks big time.

I really hate that most of all. They will take the time to make some crap seem like it is so good.

And the whole time it will be some stuff like lemons. Yeah that is so much of a pain and I sure hate it.

But that is okay I guess. Some got such weird ideas of fun. They just have no clue how disgusting some crude can really be.

And thank goodness there ain’t more like Truly Grimey. That gal can curdle water that is possible.

Just so amazing how one person can be so insane when it comes to cooking. Nobody is going to in any way call what she does cooking.

But she thinks it works. And it drives me nuts that she just like keeps trying. Which is worse since our boss keeps giving her more chances.

Boy that is just plain insane. Really can’t understand it all. Nope I think it is just a stupid thing.

But you can be sure the boss ain’t making any sense on that deal. I keep thinking he’ll wise up.

I mean even after he takes a bite and it ends up turning green he still gives her another chance. Which never makes any sense.

But at least I get to see when he you know makes it all the way it is a good deal. Yeah he does that.

Which don’t make sense, but what the heck it works for him. It does give us all a stomach ache at times.

But that green look on his face is great.

WALNUTS AND BEARS

Well you might wonder what these have in common. My answer is trees. Well duh, like you shouldn’t know that.

But I guess some are not convinced. They will be so crazy. I mean really you just have to see trees as cool.

Not always easy to do though. Got problems at the idea of just how great a tree can be. And you sure got to appreciate that one.

In any case I figured I would fix this problem. Only it doesn’t. work for people as it should.

I think the problem is with the forest deal. All that stomping around in places that make no sense.

I mean how come they have to put forests in the middle of nowhere? Why can they like be somewhere sane?

Really is that the thin it should be? Yeah, now that is the part I have to wonder about. Maybe this is a planned deal.

You know there are ways to fix that problem. Perhaps we need to like think more like bears.

Yep that will make the difference to be sure. And then think like a walnut. Oh that might seem kind of weird, but it isn’t.

Not as much as some might think. Nope you can be sure that won’t be the joy you expect.

That is the think I am working on. Yep, I can be happy letting the walnut in my head be in charge.

As for the bear part, well just have to be so dang happy about it. Yeah, I love it when that happens.

Sure is a pain with nobody gets it. You just have to love it when that is possible. Really I do.

And that is the thing I have tried to get others to see. Only they just don’t cooperate enough.

Not that I can tell. Just really gets so nuts. And let me tell you that ain’t cool. But that is okay, I’m working on it

Just need some teddy bears stuffed with walnuts.

SEE

Well there is seeing and the sea. One will let you look at junk the other you might end up drowning.

Not knowing the difference can be a big problem. Yeah, you could really be in big trouble if you didn’t.

Now that is where it takes what they call experience. A time when you can like know you aren’t dumb about junk.

Sure can be tough though. I mean you can truly get kicked in the behind if you don’t do this right.

Now I am glad that I learned. Yep, I was really happy I don’t make any mistakes on that part.

I mean you know it just sucks otherwise. Which is why I am going to help explain it to others.

Yeah, see if you can’t see the sea from the see you could be in big trouble. Now for me this is a big deal.

Mainly because I do often wonder about what some people thing. Now maybe you know they don’t live near a sea.

So that does cut down on the confusion I reckon. Perhaps not completely. Nope you can be sure that ain’t the case.

Now for me I guess the thing is that I am happy to not risk this being a mistake. You can like totally mess up.

And this I suppose is a bigger deal with say somebody who is some kind of sailor. Oh yeah you really have a problem then.

So far I haven’t decide though on that part. Because I kind of think this will not in any way help.

Now the thing is I suppose some might not even treat this as a problem. But well I don’t know, just doesn’t cause me any concerns.

I know I am ready when the time comes. Yep, just take me near an ocean and I will see it.

All we got to do here is try and make it work. Yep, perhaps some pictures will help. Hmm of a sailboat even.

Yeah, that will be great.

RETIRED

Boy now this is tired beyond tired. I mean you really have to like be set up for some kind of serious work if you are past tired.

Being so tired you get tired all over again. Not my idea of working hard. Nope I sure don’t want that.

But you know some thing it is a good deal I guess. I’ve heard of those who are like totally happy being able to work all the time.

Which is fine I guess if they want to. I personally like time off. You know some hours to be other than a worker.

Now maybe that doesn’t work for some. Yeah I guess you do have to work some time. Only hopefully not all the time.

So in for them it is almost a hobby too. I don’t think I want to give that a try. Can’t imagine it is a good thing at all.

I don’t know I think I will just like keep my regular job as it is. And let them other dudes have all that fun.

I assume they think it is fun. Can’t imagine doing it if it wasn’t. But you know people do get weird.

Yeah that happens a lot. Really hard to avoid at times. Have to like wonder with some about that part.

I ain’t really complaining on my end. Just making an observation. Which is what I have a right to do.

But guess if you are one of those types who have to make it all seem to make sense that way then cool. Have fun.

Or whatever you think is fun. I just plan on sticking with my choices. Which includes not making work something I get so tired I can do anything, but be more tired.

Anyway that is the part that I figure I will move on and find a good answer somewhere. Sure ought to make sense eventually.

Hopefully at least. Sometimes you do have to wonder. Get so many people who make you wonder.

Yep lot of them out there. And that is fine. They can keep all this retired stuff for themselves.

I won’t complain.

REFUSE

Yeah, come on tell me this doesn’t make sense at times. You get to say no. And do it when you want.

Just that moment of being able to say shut up in your own way. Which is nice if it is for dumb stuff.

Those happen way too often. Wish they didn’t. Somebody said that those are times when you prove you are mature.

Only I don’t think I see it that way. I suppose somebody likes it though. Being made to do crap that makes no sense.

I know I didn’t vote for that being life. Just doesn’t seem as if I would find this a fun way to cope with life.

And if being mature means being made to look like some moron where is the good in that? Not from my view.

I’m just not sure why this is something you get to deal with so often. I mean you know you can’t enjoy it when you want.

Well not that I see it. I sure would rather be a kid that put up with some of that darn stuff. And that really bugs me.

I mean mature is cool. Gets you into places easy enough. But come on this is like you know plain silly.

And silly can be nice too. When you are ready to celebrate stuff like going place where kids can’t do stuff.

You know like on rides at the amusement park where you need to be a certain height to go on the ride. Then being an adult is cool.

And shoot you can wear stupid hats and it don’t matter. Plus if you do stupid stuff nobody cares.

Because they are doing them too. Only that is not a fun thing if they are like weird. Yeah, really sucks.

Personally I love when you can be yourself. And if somebody tries to stick you with a rule you don’t like you can refuse it.

Except you know if it is the one about wearing a seat belt on some dangerous ride. Then it is best to do it.

Refusing and head bruising ain’t too good together.

REPLIES

I think people that don’t reply to junk need to be taught a lesson. I mean that sucks big time.

Yeah, I hate it. You take the time to share something important with the person and they don’t bother to say a word.

I mean what if you are like telling them something that can save the world. Really is that a thing they should not appreciate?

Or what if you got some genius idea? Then you take time to be sure you tell them and all.

Now you would think they would at least say thanks. Or tell you how it was all good. But then they don’t bother to say you did good.

So you try to be thoughtful. I mean people get busy. So I know sometimes they do lack the time to reply right away.

And then the crummy mail can be so slow too. Yeah that really can suck. I mean you sit there waiting for the mail man and it don’t help.

All he ever does is bring that stupid junk mail. I think maybe he don’t wants me to have the good stuff.

That is the only answer I can figure. All those places I have written and they never get mail back to me.

So I think he just might lose it. That ain’t cool. But I reckon he can get busy. Only that don’t seem fair.

I get busy too, but don’t forget the trash. Still get it all emptied and don’t forget any cans. So I don’t mess that up.

So only makes sense that they could do the same. Yeah, don’t think it should be that big of a deal.

Well I’ve been thinking I need a way to improve this. Not sure what, but perhaps going over to the post office.

Yeah, that might help. Check to see if they have some big pile of stuff not delivered. I reckon it could happen.

Just hopefully not all the time. Well I will find out I suppose. And when I do I can go back for more fun.
As in getting all those missing letters.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "What happens if they don't have a white flag to wave to surrender? Is ther a color code option somewhere?"

A BROTHER'S KEEPER

Okay who is this clown and what sick mind decides you got to stick your brother in some zoo? Is that crazy or what?

Well now I know brothers can be a pain. Some are you know. I don’t have any myself, but got lots of cousins.

And some of them ain’t that cool. You really do have to wonder about them. Yeah, I will tell that don’t make them my pals.

But even though they get weird I haven’t tried to haul their butts off to some zoo and leave them there. Not my idea of a way to treat them.

I won’t say that I might not think about it. I will admit that is thought, which might appeal in some ways.

But despite the time it seems cool I still have to like function. That is what Otis calls it. Which means putting up with crazy people.

Now that something I can appreciate, but really let me tell you no way I’m keen on the zoo deal. Mainly on account of what else might happen.

See this is where like you know if you did this they might come back and to it to you later. You might be sleeping one moment and wake up next to a lion.

Hope it isn’t during feeding time. Yeah I will pass on that option. Really ain’t cool at all. Well not to me.

Anyway, I am glad it don’t come up that often. That would not be a good thing. In fact I’ve been to the zoo a few times and haven’t seen any brothers there.

At least not in any cage. Hope that lion didn’t eat them. Sure not a fun thought. But that is okay as long as it isn’t me.

Got to be careful on that part. Yeah there are too many dang troublemakers out there that might pull this.

In any case I will be sure that it ain’t me. Yeah, that is not going to be what I look forward to.

Hope they have the rules on this posted somewhere. I mean so you don’t end up being drug of to some zoo by accident.

That could happen. Weird junk like that happens to often. And I will be sure I don’t get added to the number.

Not while I got some option.

PICKLED

Well all I can say is that this don’t sound good to me. Ever look at a pickle? Handsome they aren’t.

And what person would think this was a good option? I don’t really want to think about that part.

Really what can I say you just have to be weird to want to be stuffed in some jar and have it filled with juice. Is this somebody’s idea of fun?

Not to me. So you do have to wonder who says I want it. I sure will not take that as an option myself.

Now I suppose there is some benefit to this I missed. Yeah, you know how they are always coming out with junk new.

Guess it might have been on the news and I didn’t notice. That can happens too dang often.

Yeah, somebody thought this was cool. I heard about it the other day. Somebody said that this person they knew had been pickled.

Didn’t make it sound good. More like it was dumb. And I have to agree with that part. Being all soaked in pickle juice ain’t cool.

Still people do weird stuff. And seem to almost enjoy that part. Like you can really be happy being that insane.

Well it seems insane from my view. But I reckon that is okay. I mean nothing say we all got to be smart.

Just sort of messes it up for us sane people. Yeah, who needs that? I sure don’t plan on joining that club.

Bet there is one somewhere. Always seems to be plenty of weird ones around. Yeah, and they charge too.

Now I won’t go for that. They can keep their membership and fees. Plus they always expect meetings.

And I sure don’t vote for that. Nope, I will just let them pickle people have all their fun without me.

Just you know have no plans on letting any pickle juice types mess with me. I got enough problems with smells.

Er, maybe I won’t talk about that part.

WHEN LARGE AIN'T LARGE

These burger joints got funny ideas about size. They talk about king size. But what exactly is the size or a king?

Did they find some king and ask him? Did they take time check with more than one? And how can you even tell?

I personally never have met any kings. Well there was this one dude who called himself duke, but don’t think it was the same thing.

I guess that is okay. Still does kind of concern me. I mean would be great if they took the time to show you the person’s picture.

After all the king might be like some real small guy. And what he likes might be small compare to a different king.

Now what I figure is best here is if we take care of testing this thing. You know maybe find a few kings and make sure.

Hmmm, I wonder where they hang out? Gosh there must be place they call fun? Gee I wonder what a king would consider as fun?

Now I will have to think on that one. Yeah, guess I need to check with someone. Let me think, who do I know that might have a clue?

Guess there is always the mayor. Yeah that might be the best place to start. Course he’s not a king.

And not sure if he knows any. Suppose would be worth a try. I got it, I could also try this one teacher I know.

Plays this game called chess. Don’t know much about it other than it has a king in it. And bet it is a lot like checkers.

You say king me with it. Gee I hope they didn’t ask some darn checkers player on this. Yeah that would suck.

Oh well you never know for you. I mean that would make sense I guess too. Even checker players get thirsty.

And you never know maybe they got some cool fun with that. Yeah like perhaps they do get a crown.

Perhaps like one that don’t hurt. Like being bashed by the board for cheating. That sure wouldn’t be cool.
Glad I don’t have to worry about it.

What On Earth For?

Seems like a fair question. I mean if it ain’t good on the earth it ain’t much help is it? Not that I can tell.

Just glad this don’t come up all the time. Most of the time you know junk is pretty obvious.

Yeah you know you can tell it is other than something that is questionable. Don’t require any type of thought.

But it is this other stuff that you got to wonder about. The stuff that you are not sure where it comes from.

And that can include people. Yeah, sure are some strange ones out there. Kind of makes me wonder too.

Perhaps the aliens are like really sneaky. They mill around looking strange because you expect them to be that way.

How would we be sure then you know if they were in really weird and not just acting that way because they are from some other planet. So you look at them and do wonder.

Mainly about you know if they are like faking it. Just wandering around doing what they can to confuse folks.

Still does make a person wonder. You know what if these aliens work on lots of junk? Yeah they might be messing up lots of stuff.

I do like to think of that as being a way to explain all the crap that don’t make sense. Sure is a lot of that out there.

And you can be sure it would be cool if it did work. Yeah, then you would relax about stupid stuff.

I mean you know if them darn aliens are doing weird crap I sure wish they would stop. It is getting so confusing.

But I reckon you can’t you know control life. Yeah that would be nice if you could. Well the dumb stuff at least.

Yeah, sure would be fun to have it all make sense for a change. Then we could like relax and be happy.

Well till some knucklehead did a lame move. Which might be depressing if you knew they were human.

Best to keep it a mystery.

TOTAL

Now this ain’t hard to figure out from my way of looking at it. This is when you got all of something.

Hopefully in a good way. Yeah, no fun when it sucks. And I sure don’t need that from anybody.

But some seem to think it is a good deal. They just want to dump their crap on your head. And who needs that.

Now as a garbage man super hero I see enough crap in life. Hard ot avoid it when you spend so much time you know messing with trash cans.

So the last thing I need is more garbage to deal with. And you can be sure I don’t go looking for extra either.

But then you know some people just can’t stop sharing. Yeah, they just have this need to dump their crap on you.

Now I sure don’t enjoy when that happens. But I guess they can’t help themselves. Nope not at all.

Well I guess it sounds good to say. Not sure it is really true. But don’t like to you know make a fuss either.

So what I do if this becomes to big a deal with some is to like reason with them. Try to make them see the light.

That is what Reverend Analbe says. With him that is most likely found at a donut shop. Well works for him I guess.

Anyway I have my own way of dealing with this. I like to let them see stars. The kind that you get when you get bashed.

And you can be sure it does shut them up. Well for a while. Just enough to stop talking. But never get better.

So you have to give some that lesson more than once. Ain’t fun, but you have to. Just glad for the times it solves the problem.

And that is really a good deal. Got to wish it happen all the time. Just can’t get all people to behave.

So then comes time to get rid of the trash. Oh yeah sure need to do that a lot. Wish it was easier.

But well that is what being a trash man is for I suppose.