HAPPY HOLLOW DAZE

How come being dumb and stupid works for some holidays? I don't know it just seems like you have to do really crazy junk because somebody decided it was a good idea and nobody even says who thought it up.

I mean take like the Fourth of July. Where does it say that the founding fathers wrote the declaration of Independence and then went on a picnic? Oh had some lame parade?

Now the fireworks thing I sort of understand. And I'm not against any kind of picnic, especially when they have some barbecue and ice cream. Those are cool.

All I want to know is decided it was a rule? I sure didn't hear of them passing a law. And how come you got to have the picnic without fireworks for things like Memorial Day and Labor Day. What they too good for fireworks?

Plus how come they call it Labor Day when the one thing you aren't suppose to do is labor on that day. Shouldn't it be called Unlabor day?

Seems like we need to get this stuff straighten out a little. It is just like Thanksgiving. I never do any giving on that day. I just stuff myself. So I don't get it.

Then there is like Valentine's Day. I mean I think that ought to be more call, "Proof you are an idiot by acting goofy over love Day." Would make sense to me. But then I reckon nobody is going to ask my opinion anyway.

Now I suppose if I could find the clown who came up with these ideas it would be nice. So far I haven't found anyone.

And how come we can have some really good holidays? Like say, National Fart Day. I mean everyone seems to get pissed off when you break wind.

So why not have a day when it is okay? True, we might have to like issue gas masks or something, but what would be wrong with that? Maybe put a bow on them to make them look more festive?

I just think we need to apply a little better logic to this deal. Just seems we haven't honestly thought it through very well.

Now as for me, I'm open to some creative ideas for new holiday. Only ones that make sense. Personally, I'm ready for them to start a National Jelly Bean day.

Course for me that would be a day when all jelly beans you wanted were free. I admit there might be some technical problems getting that one to work.

But heck we give way candy on Halloween and nobody gripes. Only you have to look stupid in the process. Maybe this holiday could be reward for looking smart?