BIG

Okay what can you really say about big? It's large. Yeah, that says it. Big is well big. And I guess it is a good thing that we go know big is big. What if big weren't really big?

I'm sure somebody is saying huh? Well, I was listening to this dude the other day talking on the radio. And he was rambling on about some crazy thing where there was no such thing as too small or two big.

He went on to talk about stuff like how in reality there might be these whole worlds so tiny that they existed on the head of a pin or even smaller. Which sounded pretty scary.

I mean you got to worry if there are all these crazy teeny tiny dudes hanging around. That could be such a disaster.

What if they suddenly figured out how to change size. Then one day they show up and are bigger than you are?

God what if they want to take over too? Then what happens? I have no idea. I will just be darn sure I clobber them suckers before that happens to me.

So if I seem some short dude suddenly start getting bigger or something and looking at me funny, you can be darn sure I'm going to not sit back and let them pull any funny stuff. No, I'm not going to do that.

Instead I'm going to just sit back and try to figure the best way of either clobbering them or turn them on to somebody who they might prefer to turn into some slave or worse. And you can be sure that I will pick at my first choice for somebody for them to clobber is good old worthless scum, cheese eating jerk, rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin.

Yep, it would make me happy to have him turned over to a bunch of giant alien midgets looking for a good time and somebody to beat the snot out of in the process. Why shoot I might even end up getting a medal in the process.

That would be so cool. I could have such a good time. Get a chance to be a hero and at the same time turning Junior into a pile of goo.

Can't be that for a good deal in my opinion. I could truly find that to be so much fun. Hey, I bet they would even give me a parade.

Well, the parade might be just to celebrate Junior being gone. We could even call it a wonderful event worthy of a holiday.

I wonder what would be a great name for it? Independence Day? No, that has been taken I guess.

Well we can work on that part later. Right now I think I'll just see if I can find out where to locate these giant alien midgets.