A MOMENT OF CLARITY

Like this really happens. Well not as far as I can tell. Oh I get those dudes how talk like suddenly they got binoculars for eyes or something, but I don't see it that way.

We got this one dude over at STINK who has these so called moments of clarity way too often. He'll be looking at the same thing we all see every day and suddenly it is some deep profound deal.

I just figured they used a different kind of furniture polish and the smell affected in brain and made it go weird. Yeah, that is the only answer I got for it.

Not I ask you does this guy have a problem or not? I sure think so. He's go into this weird mood lately where he has decided everything he sees means something else.

Like the table in our lunchroom. Man it is a table. What is there to say? You sit at it, put your junk on it and eat there. How much more do you expect from a stupid table?

A whole lot apparently. At least he does. Man he went on and on about how this beat up old table was some kind of symbol for life. It's a table. it doesn't breath, eat or even fart. How much life does a table have for crying out loud?

But if you listen to him, this table somehow is a message on the way each of us has a time of usefulness. How we serve a purpose and when it is done, you get replaced.

Was this something I needed to know? He thought so. Just like the time he bored the heck out of me with that stuff about vending machines being the center of the universe. Even I knew that was stupid. They aren't even in the center of the hallway!

But he tried to claim this darn vending machine was somehow an expression of energy that was a reflection of how life works. And thus it was somehow a good expression for the nature of reality and thus a valuable reflection of creation's possibilities.

At least I've learned my lesson and never use the bathroom when he's around. Let me tell you the one thing I don't need is to have this dude in there talking to the toilet like it is a person. I mean come on is that really sane?

He asks it permission to pee? And I hope he's not really expecting an answer. However, never wait around to find out.

I make sure I just let my kidneys work overtime in speed mode. And believe me there was no way I was going to listen to that conversation any longer than I had to.

Thank god our janitor Ramy Jarvis came in while I was there. At least with him being ninety-four you expect him to see things that aren't there. And the other good thing is when he is around that other dude, I don't have to listen. It is the little things that make life smile.