FRONT PAGE NEWS STORIES

Oh yeah this is cool. Only how come we never get to vote on what they decide should be on the page?

I mean if I'm going to take the time to read it shouldn't I have some say on what they put there? After all fair is fair. The least they could do is ask somebody what we would like to read.

Oh don't get me wrong. Those stories about disasters are interesting to read. And they do at times put other worthwhile junk.

I just get tired of seeing all these stories about places I'll never visit and then tell me stuff I probably don't even need to know. Like am I really suppose to get all jazzed about some crisis in another part of the world?

I don't mind helping you know. Like say if they got lots of problems and want somebody to take out the trash, heck I'm there. Well providing they do stuff like provide a lunch or something. That seems fair.

Otherwise what is the point of even telling me about it in the first place? Unless they just enjoy making you feel depressed.

Hey, if I want depressed, I'll just trot over to where I work at STINK and spend a few minutes talking to old rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin. He's real good at making you want to jump off a cliff.

Of course he'll be sure that if you happen to have any cheese you fork it over before you leap. Oh yeah, he's a real sweetheart he is.

The kind of wonderful dude who probably helps to decide the junk in the paper in the first place. And the fact they don't bother to put anything about cheese on the front page just tells me that Junior is probably involved. Leave it to him to be sneaky enough to not let anything be said about cheese so it would look like he's not involved.

Yep, that makes sense to me. And it would also be like that rat boy to figure out a plan like that. Then to be sure that all kinds of other stuff gets stuck in the paper to through you off track that he is somehow controlling what is being written.

Man, now I know why Otis and I can never get any decent grimefighter press. All this time I thought it was that creep report over at the paper who never would take to us no matter how big our story.

That dirty rotten Junior just has to be behind it. Heck, it makes all kinds of sense now. Boy I'm going to take care of this deal. I'm going to teach that crummy Junior a lesson big time. I know I'll stop buying the paper. Er, actually, I don't pay for it. Otis, does. Well I order a subscription and then cancel it.