TO PEE OR NOT TO PEE, THAT IS THE QUESTION

That might seem like a dumb question to you, but let me tell you it sure is important when your kidneys are screaming and there ain't no bathroom around. It is the time you got to figure a way to choose to either tough it out with the pee-pee dance or end up finding some bush somewhere.

This comes up too often when my buddy Otis and I are out there on patrol as grimefighters. It might not if those darn griminals only did their grime during decent hours like the middle of the day.

But no, they got to be out in the middle of the nights. I keep forgetting to ask them what the deal is with that considering I'm sure they got to pee also. Of course with them I reckon they hardly worry where they pee since grime is not about clean that's for sure.

And I hope I do remember one of these times to ask them before I bash them senseless. Because you can be darn sure they aren't going to tell me much after they are unconscious.

Well, until that happens I guess I'm stuck with figuring out the best way to find a decent bathroom when most things are closed. And brother is that a heck of a chore at times.

Why just the other day there I was in one of our diaper service vans and feeling like there was an ocean in my kidneys just demanding attention. Boy, talk about feeling under stress!

What I did you know was to find a place where somebody was and see if I could use their bathroom. Unfortunately for me the only place we found anybody was this one warehouse with a security guard.

Sometimes those dudes are decent. In this case, the guy was a jerk. And it looked like he had plenty of practice at it too.

There I was standing in front of his door and doing the pee-pee dance and that ought to have told him enough. But he had to ask me a zillion stupid questions.

Man, all I did was tell him the truth. You know, how I work for this super secret organization called STINK. And how I am this Super Hero grimefighter type that fights to keep the world save from filth and grime.

Then I told him how hard we work and capturing people for bad stuff like littering. I figured he would be impressed with all of that. But he wasn't.

I won't repeat what he said, but let me tell you it wasn't uplifting, that's for sure. So I decided to uplift him with my bat.

I didn't stick around to get his opinion on my comment. At least his lunch pale made a good temporary toilet.