BUTTER THIS AND BUTTER THAT

Will somebody please tell me who is the evil, dirty rotten jerk who is so hung up on butter? Jeez, is there anything that they can't do with butter?

I mean they are even so nuts they add it to milk? Have you ever tried that stuff? Somebody needs to tell the moron who came up with that idea they needed to give us a break and put some sugar in the stuff. Please.

And what is the deal with butter in booze? They got butterscotch. I've never tried it, but I can't imagine it being worth trying from my point of view.

Seeing how I use the last name of Buttercream I just kind have taken this whole deal about butter very personal. At least with buttercream you know it is something decent to eat! It is a darn find tasty frosting.

All that other stuff is just trying to pretend to be something good if you ask me. And I want to find out who is responsible.

I think the evil rat needs to get in big trouble for this. They ought to make sure he doesn't go crazy and do something worse.

My god, want if he goes crazy and starts in on doing something freaky with jelly beans? That is just too scary to think about. I'm just going to have to stop this stupidity!

The big problem is I'm not sure where to start to find this knucklehead. I doubt they have a listing in the yellow pages for butter knucklehead who is screwing up the world because he is a flatulence butthead. Nope, I'm sure that won't work.

So I figure the best bet would be to check out the places where butter comes from. That clown is bound to show up there eventually.

Now all I have to do if figure out where they make all the butter. Let's see, it has to be somewhere not too far away. Butter melts pretty easy. So I know I can't look too far away.

It also has to be somewhere cool too. Butter don't do too good in the sun. So that means inside somewhere.

I know I bet it is inside the mall somewhere. Yeah, they got everything else there. So I bet they keep it out of sight too. Which also makes sense since they wouldn't want any possible butter thieves figuring it out and stealing a bunch of butter.

My god, that means this nut is smart enough to find this place even though they keep it a secret. Hmmm, sounds like a real sneaky dude.


Well I'm not taking this any longer. I'm going to head over to the mall first chance I get. And then I'll take my bat and the first person I ask that where they keep the butter and they refuse to tell me, I'll know I've found the right person. Then I'll just use my bat till they talk or end up unconscious.