UP AND DOWN

There are lots of stuff that go up and down. Maybe more than we care to think about. Elevators, escalators, planes, hot air balloons and a whole bunch of stuff goes up and down.

I think it all started way back when that one dude, Sir I-suck-on-a-newton invented what he called gravity. Not sure what they did about keeping stuff on the planet before then, but after that fact everyone sort of was stuck with the idea, even if they didn't like it.

He was the one I think that said, whatever goes burp will become a frown. I got no idea what that has to do with the gravity thing or eating Fig Newtons, but it sure seemed important to some people.

The one thing I do know that when this Sir dude thought up is invention of gravity and was thinking about things going up and down he sure never had my buddy, Otis in mind. Because a lot of things might go up and down, but one thing I know is that Otis's weight sure never goes down.

Oh he does try different stuff to make it go down at times. Things like eating sugar free foods. But I just don't think putting sugar free candy on a big bowl of ice cream is really making a good choice.

I like the times when he wants to pretend his weight has gone down, so he takes off his shoes before stepping on the scales. Then he gets all excited like he really lost some weight or something.

That is okay by me because afterwards Otis will want to celebrate by ordering some big meal. Which works till he weighs himself again and then even without shoes his weight still goes up.

The way I see it though, it really isn't that big of a deal. As long as he don't check the scale every day then things are kind of cool.

So far though he hasn't gone along with my idea. I told him to just stick the darn scale up on the closet shelf and forget about it.

I think he is thinking about that one though. Maybe not hard enough to do it yet, but I have a feeling he will eventually.

And outside of his weight I can imagine once that scale goes up on that shelf it won't come down ever again. Guess that sir fella should have checked out scales and diets before he went around invented gravity. It might have made life easier for all of us if he had.

But I doubt it is too late to change things now. I imagine he has some web site or something where he blabbed about the gravity thing. And once it is on the internet we all know everyone will hear about it.