FRIED, DIED AND PIED

Now the rule for me here is that if it is fried it means it is something that has died. That is as opposed to something that never lived. Like a chicken. I'm not talking about stuff like a rock.

And since it rhymes in a way the same rule applies. If it is in a pie it should have once been alive. Well, kind of perhaps. I mean some might claim chocolate and cream filled pies were never alive. But I say otherwise. After all chocolate was once some kind of bean and cream like vanilla was also a bean.

Again for a mud pie since it might be called a pie, but it don't count with you tummy and then it really don't matter. Unless it is that kind mud pie made from cookies and ice cream, then it is okay.

I suppose some people might even be wondering why this needs to be listed. They might presume you know that people already know all of this.

Well let me tell you from what I've seen that ain't always the case. I was watching this show the other day where people were getting paid for eating all kinds of weird stuff. Which I suppose is okay if that is your think.

But personally, if my tummy ain't happy then getting paid to eat disgusting junk just ain't worth it. Not in my book.

That is this cookbook that I've been writing. It has all kinds of helpful hints on the really cool stuff you want to eat and the best way to eat it.

Take a peanut butter sandwich for example. The peanut butter part is important, however it is the and part that really matters.

Which is what I try to write about in my book. The big trick is figuring out how much stuff you can add as the and part before the sandwich is too big to fit in your mouth.

That chapter is nearly done. So I started on this one about the fried, died and pied. I figure it is important for people needing to know all of this important stuff to find it in one place.

I tell you one thing, I can wait to get to the chapter I'm planning on devoting to jelly beans. I got to admit that on the subject of jelly beans I figure it is important that I might even have to devote two chapters.

One would be about regular jelly bean cooking. Like putting them in sandwiches on pizza and the like. Then I would not doubt need a second chapter for what I call gourmet cooking. That is where I describe how you use jelly beans for more advanced types of cooking like with TV dinners. I figure there are enough people out there who could benefit from that kind of info. Now all I have to do is find out where they keep all those dinners shaped like TV's that Otis is always talking about.