CONDIMENTS AND SHAVING CREAM

Yep, there are some things that were meant to be smeared. It might seem cruel or unfair, but that is the way it is.

Which is fine by me since after all, what good would it be to try and use shaving cream if you didn't smear it all over you beard? The same can be said for condiments like ketchup. Heck you can have a decent burger if you don't smear it all over your burger till it is drowning in the stuff.

That is the part that I feel is the most important here. With both of these things, you can waste your time talking in terms of you know being careful about not using too much.

What I really think is cool is with shaving cream since it is used to make you look cleaner you can be as messy as you want while making it seem you are just trying to be clean. Whereas with condiments you can always use the excuse that you have plenty of napkins to make up for being messy.

In any case I'm just happy to know that there are times where it is okay to be messy and not feel guilty about it. Which ought to help those who might be worried about the griminals from STINK busting your butt for untidy behavior.

Nope, rest assure we won't do that. Just remember if you get all jazzed with condiments we might show up just to surprise you. So be sure you got plenty to eat of more than just condiments.

Otherwise if we show up being really, really hungry and all you got is some ketchup packets don't expect us to be happy. Of course you don't have to worry too much as long as you got the take out places on speed dial. That is always a good idea.

And don't forget if you are going to order pizza that we don't like anchovies. Those are not in the group of approved grimefighter choices.

As for the shaving cream option, well just be sure you clean up after you use you razor and such. Nothing bugs us more than somebody who gets too carried away with this whole shaving cream thing.

That is just about as bad as not using enough. I hope I've made that clear too. After all, you do need to keep the facts straight and the razor too.

Now that I've clarified all that data I feel better. It is all part of my never ending struggle to be sure that people remained informed as they need to be for their own best interest.

I just wish I could get those guys I've already told this to appreciate it as much as I would like. Perhaps next time I won't try to take one of them who doesn't get it and smear mayo on his face to show him the best way to use shaving cream. Hey, it was one of those spur of the moment choices. Live and learn.