THREE TO GET READY, FOUR TO POOP

Oh man I hate when this happens. You get all ready to go somewhere and suddenly your butt puts on the brakes so you can go sit on some toilet.

Well okay, with some they say four to go. Fine by me, going, pooping, whatever. As long as you get the general idea that it involves something coming out of the end that is other than your mouth.

And I suppose giving yourself three reasons to get ready is okay too. But then you it is serious if you need four to poop.

Personally, I never need more than one reason to poop myself. Having my butt start tightening up is enough reason for me.

But I reckon if you think you need some reasons that is okay too. You know like being sure you got enough toilet paper is helpful I suppose.

Then you ought to make sure the bathroom isn't occupied too. That is a real big thing to know because if you don't know and you got to go, it can be a real disaster if the bathroom is occupied.

Which of course brings up the third reason to get ready. You need to get ready with a clean pair of underwear should you not make it to the bathroom in time. I know that shouldn't happen to anybody other than some little kid. But at long as you don't go telling the world or showing your messy underwear you can at least spare yourself some humiliation.

As far as the four reasons for pooping, well I reckon that might include some real different kind of stuff like say you know not wanting your butt to explode. Or perhaps it would be your inner plumbing bursting from holding it too long.

Other than that well the reasons might include important stuff like letting yourself get emptied out so you can make more room for other important stuff in your body. Like more food. Yep, that would be a pretty big deal.

Then if you broke it down into the four major food groups like some people do you got even more than four reasons. But four will be enough I reckon. However, if you need to know the four basic food groups, I'll give them to you.

First of course is fast food. That is good stuff like burgers, fries, tacos, pizza and Chinese food. Then you got your bread group. It includes good stuff like donuts, bread type of breads, cakes, cookies and all that other important good junk. When you get pass those two you get the others stuff, which includes snack goodies. Thinks like jelly beans, chocolates, you know the stuff for lots of energy. The last one is naturally dairy type products. Basically anything that might come from a dairy. We're talking things like ice cream, banana splits and I suppose you might include steaks if you think of cows being on a dairy.

So there you have your choices and all I can say is happy counting and pooping. I know I'm going to enjoy it.