MICHAEL STOP ROWING

Okay what is the deal with this Michael character? How come he deserves having a song about him doing nothing, but rowing to some shore he never reaches? Is that a claim to fame that I just don't get?

Well, all I know is that Michael was somebody who could impress if he did all that rowing and somebody figured it was a good thing to put in a song. The way I figure it was probably those relatives they mentioned who went out to lend him a hand.

You know how some people are. Here is old Michael working his butt off trying to row that darn boat ashore and at the last minute a couple of freeloading relatives show up to probably help him like the last couple of feet.

They probably watched him the whole time and were running around making fun of him and then when they heard the singing, said, "Hey we got to get in on this action!" So there was poor old Michael, all sweating and tired and not even paying attention.

Why he probably didn't even know anyone was singing. So he probably thought at the time, 'man this is cool of my worthless lazy butt relatives to come over and give me a break."

I wonder if he still felt that way after they managed to steal some of his publicity, the lousy rats! I bet he didn't feel that cool when he had to listen to the song and for a little help they got mentioned.

But I reckon the good thing was they didn't get mentioned as being in the boat in the first place. Now that would have really frosted my cookies if it happened to me.

I guess old Michael was just happy to get that song written and sung. Even if they never did get around to mentioning if he actually made it to shore.

However, knowing how people are always so crazy about sequels, I figure sooner or later somebody will come up with Michael, Part II, the shore. Hopefully, he would be able to get the fame all for himself and not have to share that part with his relatives too.

The other thing I wonder about is what shore was he trying to get too? They never mention that part either.

It seems kind of important to me. After all, he could have been a lake or an ocean. They never make that very clear.

And if he was rowing towards some beach then you would have figured the lifeguards could have given him a break. Guess they wouldn't have wanted it know they were goofing off at the time.

Maybe one of these days you know old Michael will come clean on what really happened with his rowing thing. That way we can know if there were any irresponsible lifeguards or lazy relatives to blame for whatever.