MEALS ON WHEELS

I heard about this from Ramy Javis. He is the janitor over at STINK where I work. And he is a pretty cool guy even if he is ninety-four years old.

Anyway, the thing he is was telling me about how there are times when he gets his lunch from this meals on wheels program. Well, I got to be honest, Ramy is cool, but there are times when he sort of goes funny in the head and comes up with some pretty weird stuff.

I figure this is one of those times. Because personally I can't imagine how a wheel of any kind could be edible. Heck rubber is a lot of things, but I sure wouldn't of it as tasty.

Plus he was kind of vague on the part about what you sit the meal on. It is suppose to be a meal on a wheel. So does that mean you have to put one wheel on top of another one? I just kind of wonder you know if it would be all that easy to balance one tire on second one. How do you have time to hold it and have any free hands to actually eat it too?

Now I suppose that perhaps you know this might be one of those types of tires called a retread tire. I know when you re something it means you do it over. And tread is like walking on junk.

So I figure a retread tire just has to be one that people have jumped up and down on long enough to make it soft. Not sure how long you would have to jump on it to soften it up enough to eat, but I'm not that interested in finding out myself.

At least I can hope the tire is one that is bald. I sure don't want a hairy tire in my meal on wheels if I do decide to give this a try. The hair always ends up getting stuck in your teeth or it would seem like it would.

In any case I think I'll pass on that idea. It would be my luck I would end up with a tire that was in need of a shave or hair cut and that could get even more messy. Who needs that?

Then there is that stuff about what are called steel belted tires. Man who needs a tire that is got some belt made of steel around it?

I can't imagine how long it would take to cook something like that before it would be soft enough to munch on. Frankly, I don't think I want to find out.

Now I suppose you know a tire might eat better if you say put it in a casserole. But if you didn't cook it right, I bet it would real chewy.

Then I guess that you could even stick it in a blender perhaps. But then you might need to add some licorice along with the milk so it didn't taste too yucky.

Well, I reckon that will be a problem for Ramy to work on. Myself I'll stick to regular foods. At least you know it wasn't once on a car and maybe ran over something disgusting before you started eating it.