STOPPING TO SMELL THE ARMPITS

Is this important or what? Oops, I guess I forgot to mention that I'm talking about smelling your own armpits. I wasn't suggesting you needed to do this with somebody's else's armpit.

That might be somebody's idea of fun, but not me. I was merely talking in terms of you know checking your deodorant. Which is extra important if you are going to be somewhere close to other people.

Of course if you don't do it there are ways to tell if your deodorant isn't working right. There are things like having the other person kind of sniff the air and then get a grumpy face like they just ate a lemon. That's always a big clue you ain't smelling like a rose.

Then there are the times when the person will be talking to you and give you some really lame excuse for running away. Believe me if they tell you they left a great white shark drying in a dryer at a Laundromat that is not reality. I know because I went to the Laundromat to check for myself and there was no shark there.

Now my motto is, "Be kind and smell real fine." Well it does work when dealing with somebody you care about impressing.

If you are talking about some creepy griminal forget it. Those jerks never use deodorant anyone. You can expect somebody who thrives on filth and grime to want to be thrilled with smelling good.

Which is unfortunately not something you can make as a rule. I wish you could, but griminals aren't the only ones who stink in the world.

I had to find that out the hard way. But then I guess bashing those couple of stinky guys just for general purposes was all a bad idea. And I'm sure it gave them a lot to think about to.

Although it is a pain not being able to go by the fire station for a while. However the other fireman would probably not thank me for straightening those two guys out. I just assumed fireman always wore uniforms. Oh well, live and learn I guess.

And in the meantime I plan on making sure I work real hard on my armpit etiquette book to help out people not so informed on such things. My biggest hang up at the moment is finishing the chapter on farts.

It's kind of a gray area in terms of smelling since you can't use deodorant that well to fix that problem. I don't count air freshener you understand.

Well, I'm sure I'll work it out sooner or later. No big deal because if I don't, I'll figure it out for my sequel volume about odors to live by. I'm sure people will be real anxious to read that one.