THE HECK YOU SAY

The one thing I sure have come to appreciate is how people can say the most amazing crap. Sometimes they say stuff that is true too, which is the real pain when you aren't sure if they are telling the truth.

What really bugs me is when the truth is crazier that stuff that isn't true. That can really be a pisser, let me tell you.

I've been working hard at making sure I can tell the difference so it will make life easier. You know the less time you end up hearing crap the less time you have worry about whatever the crap happens to be about.

So for starters, if I take my buddy's Otis advice, then you don't have to listen to politicians, lawyers, television news reporters and salesmen. That sure is a whole lot of people.

But it is simpler not to have to deal with all those types. I guess that is a good thing. I am sort of trying to figure out the added stuff that you don't have to worry about either.

For me that includes, I bet you can guess, old rat boy Junior. I don't care if he is a nut case about cheese, I wouldn't even take his advice on that subject. Because that is one crazy dude and you pretty much know he spends all his time thinking about some kind of cheese instead of important junk.

So if you avoid him that will be a good place to start. Then you can sort of move on from there to the other people.

Now the only one that I have to put in a fuzzy category is the Reverend Analbe. I know he talks to God personally and all, but sometimes I kind of wonder about some of the junk he says.

I especially have trouble with the parts like when he says God told him to tell me to buy him a box of donuts. Well, shoot, normally it is more like four or five dozen. But that always seems to happen whenever I meet him. It does make me wonder if there will be any donut shops in heaven. I kind of have trouble imagining the Reverend enjoying it if there ain't any donuts.

At least I don't have to see him all the time. About the only person I see all the time is my buddy Otis. And normally I can pretty much trust what is says.

Well there are those times I am left scratching my head though. Like when he said the center of the earth is really made out of Spam. I kind of question that comment.

But since I haven't ever visited the center of the earth I can say for sure. So when he claims he needs to keep eating Spam in order to keep the center of the earth from breaking, I figure it is no big deal. As long as he doesn't take up eating jelly beans I'll live with his the heck you say.