WHAT AIN'T THERE

My buddy Otis is always talking about how you never need to fear in the dark because there is nothing there in the dark that wasn't there in the light. Well he can say that all he wants, but I'm not that convinced.

I've seen enough monster movies to know how they love to be so sneaky and hide when the light is on and then wait till the dark to rush out and eat your face. So just because he has lucked out and not had that happen yet don't mean it doesn't happen.

Whenever he says something stupid like that just before turning out the lights, I just do my best to ignore it. However, I also take the time to protect myself just in case those sneaky monsters decide to play some dirty trick after the lights go out.

I tell you it takes a little practice to be sure that I'm protected without Otis ragging on me for being silly. I know that one big defense against stuff like vampires and those types of jerks is holy water.

Now the big problem with that is finding any water that has wholes in it. That is really tough.

I heard they supposedly keep a bunch in churches, but when I asked the Reverend Analbe where he kept his supply he just started rambling about sinning as he normally does. So I figured he wasn't going to share.

I have tried to use regular water, but to be honest I can never get the hang of being sure it has a whole. I can make on in it, but the darn water won't behave.

So the only solution I could think of was making a whole in whatever the container was that I put the water in. That way if it went through hole I figured it would the same.

Course the big problem was that once I put it in a container that leaked I got worried that it wouldn't stay as holy water if it went from that container to one without a holy. I didn't want to risk you know it losing the holy part from getting confused.

So what I did was put a hole in the container where it had to go. Then naturally I had to also turn around and make sure it drained into something.

But that meant the thing it drained into that had a hole would also leak. So I ended up putting that into a regular container that didn't have a hole till I could fill it up and pour it into the one that did have a hole again.

All I can say is that I spend all night taking that stupid water and pouring it from one container to another. Let me tell you that was no fun. So I don't think I'll try that again.

Plus I did fall asleep at one point and the water ended up on my mattress. I didn't enjoy having Otis think I wet my bed, but I really didn't want him making fun of me for the vampire thing either. So I put up with that reputation this time.