THE ONE AND PHONY

Ever give any thought to how the word phony rhymes with baloney? Kind of makes you wonder huh? Okay, so it makes me wonder.

What do I wonder about? If maybe they were trying to tell something in the process. You know like perhaps the more baloney a person doles out the bigger they are as a phony. Sort of works for me. But there most things I think up generally do.

Course like everything there is baloney that you can swallow and other that is so rank it just down right turns your stomach. And you be darn sure the phony dude ain't got much of the tasty kind. Even if he says otherwise.

I guess in some ways it isn't a big deal. Providing you can live with being around lots of people who love to spread it on thick. And I ain't talking about mayonnaise either.

Which is probably the part that bugs me the most. I mean if the stupid jerk of a phony wasn't so obsessed in feeding you way too much baloney you might not honestly discover the truth.

Only it never seems to work that way. It is like an addiction. Once that tongue gets too bent out of shape you just can get it to work right again. I think in the cowboy movies the Indians called a dude like that somebody who spoke with a forked dung. Man you sure got to admit if you are spreading so thick you need a fork to shovel it into somebody's mouth that is really bad.

My buddy Otis is most of the time pretty good and not trying to be a phony. However I got to admit that there are times when he some urge to impress somebody and then man nobody can spread the baloney thicker.

But seeing how he is my buddy and all I do try to make allowances. That's what I call it when he gives me an extra generous allowance of jelly beans to be sure I got something in my mouth so I don't say something I shouldn't.

Although I got to admit though that even with the jelly beans it is hard at times to stay quiet when he gets a little too carried away. Like the time he started claiming he was an astronaut.

My buddy is a really cool guy, but even that one was hard for me to hear. Otis is fun to be a pal with, but the man is built like and egg. And judging from the look on the face of that lady over at the museum he was trying to impress I didn't get the impression that she bought it either.

Oh he managed to lots of big words about constellations and start charts, thrust to weight ratios, like I got a clue what that is and something about firing retros. I think those were probably some flunkies over at STINK that he managed to get booted for being lazy. Oh well, the one good thing was I did get an extra helping of jelly beans over that one. I think even Otis knew when he had used too much baloney.