MR. FIX IT

That's one name I don't think my buddy Otis will ever be given. He likes to think of himself as handy with tools and at repairing junk, but you couldn't get me to swear by it.

And no matter how many bent nails he hammers or other junk he ends up not repairing he still keeps trying. Why we even have a tool box in our apartment. I never really use to much of the stuff in it though. I got a use for the hammer sometimes and a screwdriver, but otherwise I don't look in it much.

I do know that the one thing you can be sure is that the name on it has nothing to do with how good the person is at using it. All the stuff Otis buys is called "Craftsman," but it sure isn't that way because he's very crafted at using it.

Now what makes things even more annoying is when we need something like say a bookcase he ends up buying one of those kits you have to put together. We got several of them in the garage in varying degrees of being assembled. He tells me he's going to finish them one of these days, but so far one of these days hasn't quite come.

That is why I always cringe when he gets something that has those words on it, "some assembly required." Because whatever assembly is required will probably be a whole lot more than he'll actually ever get done. My opinion naturally. Otis would no doubt say otherwise.

But I imagine someday when he gets around to figuring out how to put the stuff together it would be great to have that new desk, bookcase and all the other junk he says will look wonderful. I have tried taking his advice and picturing it in my head, but you know when I just see the stuff lying in pieces it don't work that well. I can look at the directions, but it just isn't the same too me.

I'm grateful at least that he has given up on doing other junk like trying to repair things that break down in our apartment. I think the real reason is because of the times we have had to call a real repair dude to fix them when he could figure them out.

He says it is because he got busy. Which is okay since it does sound better. And that is okay with me I guess.

In the meantime Otis is getting all jazzed. He just got a discount coupon for this hardware place that sells tools.

I'm sure he'll find one that he'll need. I reckon it will look great in the tool box too. Which is probably the only place one will ever see it if he uses it the way he does the others.

I suppose in part I'm just grateful that he never decides to fix stuff like jelly beans. When it comes to snacks I figure what goes in my mouth is okay as it is and doesn't need any repair.