IN THE FARTLAND

Well maybe I'm the only one that gets to visit this place, but let me tell you the one thing you never forget is going there. At least you nose doesn't.

Where is fartland? Oh it exists anywhere people have gas that has to come out of their bodies, which is pretty much everywhere I suppose.

The only problem fartland isn't popular in social circles. You can't boast about visiting there, well not officially.

But the one thing I know is that a whole lot of people are more willing to be a member of fartland unofficially than officially. That grin they get when they cut one and don't admit it ain't from being unhappy.

So for myself, I don't like playing those games. I would just as soon be a member of fartland upfront and celebrate the membership.

Course it is tough to find other people to join me. Wish it wasn't. After all passing gas is just one of those things people do like breathing, sleeping, talking and eating jelly beans.

I don't know why it should be such a complaint to others because you just let your rear end do the talking for you. But they sure do.

In the meantime, I'm happy with the stuff and the way it works. I sleep pretty darn good knowing my rear end don't have to lie about what comes naturally.

And along the way I try to encourage others to feel free too. When I see them wincing from needing to cut one and afraid to I just pat them on the shoulder and say, "ah go ahead, pal, I won't rat you."

Of course I always to, which is also have the fun. I mean it really gives me a snicker when the dude passes the gas and some big ugly guy decides to thank him for it by punching his lights out.

Oh well I suppose this is just one of those deals where I'll just have to live with living in one world while enjoying a different one. I doubt if I'm alone in that.

As for the few who are honest about it, I say, pass the beans. There's no point in pretending and I see no reason to even try.

But that is me. And as long as I can I'm going to keep savoring the moment no matter how rank it gets. I just hope someday that fartland does get the break it deserves.

Yep, we all need that freedom to travel where the air stinks and yet we are happy about it. I know I'm ready, I hope you are too. Rejoice the day of gas freedom is bound to come for us sooner or later.