AND AWAY WE DON'T GO

There was this famous comedian who had this television show a long time ago who said "away we go" a lot. I think it was a good thing.

Well I don't know if my boss ever watched that dude, but he sure loves to get us all excited to the point we all are ready to go away somewhere to fight grime. Which is a pretty good thing when it works right.

He'll have these speech times where he'll hold like this pep rally. We don't get cheerleaders though. And let me tell you with the kind of women that Dr. Hemoglobin hires to work for us, it is probably a good idea they don't do much cheering.

Now, I don't want to rag on them nice ladies for trying to be friendly and helpful, but God sure didn't see fit to make them exactly the most um, photogenic of gals on the planet. Not that it is a big deal in terms of them doing stuff like typing. Shoot nobody cares what somebody who types looks like.

But if they get up and put on some cheerleaders outfit the first thing I would say is the should not wear something that draws attention to a hump. Oh a few other aspects, which sort of take the enthusiasm out of the whole cheering thing.

In addition, if they are going to try and do a cheer, like the kind you hear at ball games, it might be helpful if they could spell. It hardly inspires if you hear they say something like "gimmie a C" and then when they get done trying to spell clean they have added in a couple extra L's and a Z somewhere. When they ask, "What's that spell?" We all just look at each other and go "beats me."

Which is no way let me tell you to get a person excited about rushing off to fight grime if you start out scratching your head. Shoot, even when we leave in the garbage truck to go on patrol we are still looking at each other and asking, "Was that a good t hing?"

I do wonder if the griminals have cheerleaders? If so, I hope they are as bad as ours. That way at least we would know they were as confused as us. Then we could look forward to both being too confused to let the cheering do much good.

In the meantime, I am giving thought to maybe coming up with a few cheerleading ideas of my own. My first thought was to perhaps try something to get everyone's attention. I was sort of thinking in terms of lighting a few firecrackers that I had stuffed in some fruit and tossing them at the guys. I bet that would wake them up and get their attention.

But I haven't quite gotten Otis to cooperate on that idea yet. I'm sure he will in times. As long as I can guarantee him that this time I won't mistake that dynamite for a really big firecracker. You do that once and blow up something like an office and nobody seems to want to let your forget it. Especially, if it happens more than once. Even if I don't count the second time since the building wasn't damaged that much in my opinion. Besides even Dr. Hemoglobin said they were going to tear that place down anyway.