SACKING

Normally this is a good thing to me. I enjoy stuffing goodies in little brown bags and using them for lunch. Toting it around and making people wonder what great stuff you are hiding in that bag. It can be so cool.

Now what I do understand is this business in football of what they call “sacking” the quarterback. I mean really, as far as I know a quarterback is a guy. So where the heck do you get a bag big enough to stuff him in? Plus why is this a good thing?

I realize that football is about beating the snot out of each other for the simple joy of doing whatever you think is cool with that thing they call a pig skin. Personally, I can take bacon or leave it, but I guess it is pretty darn important to football players if they are willing to fight over it.

All I know is that from the way I see it I have a hard time believing that any quarterback would enjoy being sacked. I bet it isn’t something he cooperates over either. When probably where they get that thing called a “quarterback sneak.” I know if some big ugly dude was trying to stuff me in a bag I’d be willing to get sneaky about it too.

Anyway, from best I can figure this sacking business isn’t always fun because every time I hear them mention it they also mention downs. So that means it ain’t necessarily something that makes somebody happy.

What is really amazing is they apparently need a referee to witness the whole thing. Who thought up that idea? What does he do anyway? Does he like look at the big bag with the quarterback sacked and decide it is somehow okay? You got to wonder.

Well I suppose if I really wanted to know I would go over to that big outhouse where they love hanging out during the football games. It sure seems way too big for just a place to take a piss.

But then I hear them mention the “super bowl.’ Boy it must be awful big to be super. And considering the size of the outhouse, it just has to be gigantic.

I guess that is why they are always harping on the touchdown business. You got the quarterback finally stuffed in some sack and then touch him down the ground. That generally happens right before that referee who dresses like a zebra decides to raise his arms and make sure his deodorant is working okay.

I tell you sports sure can have some strange rules. But somebody things there are okay. After all if they didn’t they would all spend so much time talking about it on the television. And we all know if it is on television it just has to be true.

Gee I wonder if maybe sometime they will actually show one of those sacks they use on quarterbacks. That would be fun to see. I reckon it might be worth waiting to see providing they ever get over kicking that pig around.