SPEWING THE WIND

This is NOT a good thing if you are the poor dude getting the fallout from the spewing. But then if you are the one doing the spewing you would end up not doing that unless you were feeling crappy in the first place.

There are some things you can avoid in life. Like, for example, stuff that is just plain dumb and stupid that you have a choice not to do if you don’t get a industrial strength case of being a moron. I won’t bother giving all the details on those kinds of situations since we all know those incidents way too well.

So in that regard I kind of treat a lot of situations where you do end up spewing in the wind as a case of “I should have known better.” It is like having a big, spicy meal just before you go on some rollercoaster. Now that’s stupid! I know because I did that — er, let’s just say I got some memories on that subject that I would prefer not to necessarily share.

In any case, I was thinking that this subject did deserve to be mentioned since like so many subjects there are times when we just plain leave are brains somewhere other than in our heads. Mine normally manages to fall into my stomach. Which is why I end up spewing in the wind when it does happen. Darn, I wasn’t going to blab on that part. Oh well, guess I was going to do it eventually I suppose.

Keeping secrets for me is sort of like asking me not to ever fart, especially just after I had a big plate of beans. Talk about spewing! Well it is sort of like it, just out of a different end. But let me tell you to the poor slob that ends up down wind whether you spew or pass gas isn’t going to be happy regardless of whether he got drenched or just a bad whiff.

In any case, I was trying to think of something I could say that was good about this spewing thing. It was tough, but I reckon that the best part is once you’ve spewed you almost always feel better. That is until the big dude you spewed on happens to figure out you were the one who did the upchucking.

He’s not likely to say thank you. It is more like he’ll want to rearrange your body parts in a way that you’ll look like a pretzel. And trust me that is NOT a good feeling.

Still, I think the only way to avoid the spewing part is to not end up eating junk that might make you sick when you decide to ride a rollercoaster. That sounds like great advice. Only I never do very good at remembering it when I go to the amusement park.

The problem is those chili dogs, popcorn and all that other tasty stuff just seems to call my name. I don’t know, perhaps eating ice cream right after ten hot dogs smothered in sauerkraut before I ride the rollercoaster is something I need to rethink. I just hope I remember next time before I ride the ride and not afterwards when I end up with another incident of spewing in the wind.