NOT IN MY UNDERWEAR YOU DON'T

There are some things that to me are totally sacred and not negotiable. Underwear is one of those.

I heard some clown talking the other day and maybe it was his idea of being funny, but he talked about shooting an elephant in his pajamas and having no idea how it got there. Now is it just me or does that sound stupid to you?

What kind of knucklehead even has pajamas he wears that are so big and elephant would fit in them? I don’t think I want to meet that dude.

See those are the kinds of stupid junk that gets said and I find it really annoying. It is kind of like when they say you should always put on clean underwear before you go anywhere in case you get in an accident.

What’s the deal with that? Do those doctors get some sick pleasure out of checking your underwear when you get messed up in some accident? Do they like giving it a double check and it if isn’t clean they just shrug and say, “Heck any moron who refuses to wear clean underwear doesn’t deserve any medical help?

Plus show me where in the medical insurance stuff it says one stupid thing about underwear? I can see how that would suck. You go in to the hospital for some emergency and you show them your insurance card and some pervert of a clerk says, “Okay buddy drop you pants and prove to me you got clean underwear.” Like that is going to happen!

But the very fact that somebody was thinking along those lines is kind of scary to me. God if they are going to stay thinking weird crap about your underwear what comes next? Pretty soon before you know it they’ll be going after you socks. Or maybe you pajamas.

Hey, you can kid about my underwear, but never kid about my pajamas. Those are very personal and I don’t think anybody ought to be messing with them.

Er, I’m not saying that messing with my underwear is okay. And especially not while I’m wearing them. Any crazy dude that would try to mess with my underwear while I was still wearing them would be in big trouble.

Which sort of makes me wonder if perhaps there is some connection between clean underwear and aliens who come here in space ships. The idea just sort of popped in my head.

What if those darn sneaking aliens, who as far as I know don’t even wear underwear got some hang up about checking them out. Maybe with all their smarts they never invented them so they jealous and want to come here and screw with our minds so we won’t know just how stupid they are in terms of underwear. Sort of makes sense to me. It might even be why they mess with those crop circles. They might be you know trying to come up with a place to put up a clothes line to hang underwear and simply get too embarrassed to admit they have no idea what one ought to looks like. I guess I’ll have to give that some more thought. I’ll keep you posted if I figure it out.