TO SERVE AND REJECT

Now to me I think we would be in big trouble if those wonderful men in blue weren’t running around serving us with safety. Even those they sort of take a dim view of the times I do my talking with my bat, being a grimefighting super hero I sort of think I am on their side.

And that’s cool in many ways. I like being part of the good guys. I just wish that the bad guys were always bad and also unpopular. But you know at times it just don’t seem that way.

Plus you know, being civic minded as I am, which to me means I don’t use bad words unless I really, really have to, I sort of like to help out with those nice uniform dudes when I can. So you would think they would appreciate the help. After all it ain’t like I’m asking them to pay me for the help. It might be cool if they did, but I don’t mind giving them a helping hand once an a while.

Normally I stick with griminals though. That is my specialty, which is a good thing since I haven’t been allowed to carry any guns so far.

Oh believe me I have suggested it to my boss, Dr. Hemoglobin, but every time I bring the subject up he gets this bad case of some mysterious illness. He’ll sit there and get all red face, have to tug at his collar and then can’t talk. Poor guy ought to find out what causes that.

My buddy, Otis has let me take my sling shot with me. But it hardly does me much good when all I get to take along as ammunition is jelly beans. I mean by the middle of some assignment I’ve done eaten all my ammo so you know how much help a sling shot is then.

Otis doesn’t seem to be much help on the gun thing either. I keep telling him that it sure would simplify our grimefighting stuff. We would have to mess with such junk and catching a griminal in the act. If we saw somebody who looked suspicious we could just shoot first and ask questions later.

But he keeps insisting that isn’t a good idea. I think that is really unfair. Okay, so once I made a mistake and mistook this boy scout for a griminal. Mistakes do happen you know. Otis just never lets me forget!

Well alright, I admit there were those other times too with that delivery guy, that janitor, that security guard and er, like I said mistakes can happen. Still maybe I wouldn’t have to beat people senseless with my bat if I had a gun. I mean one bullet hole in the foot would pretty much guarantee they told me the truth I reckon.

In any case, I do suppose I’ll get to find out anytime soon. At least not as long as Dr. Hemoglobin and Otis keep having the kind of memory where they can’t forget those times when I made an honest mistake.