CURVES AND NERVES

I’ve been working on this theory that thinks with curves are strange in a way that gets on your nerves. That might seem weird, but believe me I think it is true.

When you think about if something is straight or square it generally can be stacked easy or doesn’t give you any hassles when you are following it like a stretch of straight highway. But if it has curves then you don’t know if there might be some car coming your way or if it is something you have to stack then you got the added problem of will it even stack right.

So consider for example that paper is always flat and straight. Who wants paper that is curved? Pens are curved lots of time and that makes it a pain if you have to lay them down somewhere. And if you use them to write with, you can make curves, but they are flat on the paper so they don’t bug you as much. It is sort of compromise, but I got no idea who figured that one out.

Okay, so boxes, which are cool for lots of things don’t have lots of curves if any. They got edges, but that just makes them square. Oh the other hand stuff like bags end up bulging so even though they are sort of straight by the time you fill them up they got curves. So you can’t stack them.

I think the idea here is that straight means neat, curves carry the risk of a mess. That sounds like a pretty good rule to me.

Now the big hassle is of course figuring out a way to avoid those curves. And that can really get complicated. See jelly beans are straight, well not completely. But they aren’t really curved either. So I have to us what is called “my discretion” on that one. So I ruled them as wanna be straight things.

Let me tell you that discretion thing really has gotten a work out lately too. I mean the other day I had an ice cream cone. The cone was kind of straight and the ice cream, well it was not either straight or curved. More lumpy than anything. But since it was in a cone that more on the straight side I counted it as okay.

I just hope all these rules don’t make things too complicated for you folks. After all that would be more like a curve than something straight and who needs that.

In the meantime I’m going to be working on a curve rule thing. Something we can look at and enjoy since it will guide us through the murky world of curve mess.

And if I can spare one person from falling victim to that then I know I’ve done a good thing. That is something I can feel good about.

Here’s hoping all your curves don’t end up getting you in trouble. That would be dang messy that is for sure. Just don’t forget to keep something to straighten out any curves you can. You’ll thank yourself in the morning.