WHY NOT?

Ever do stuff just for fun? Well sometimes I just want to do junk for no reason. Which doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. I don’t want to explain or think about it, I just want to do it because I like to.

From my point of view that ought to be no big deal as far as I’m concerned. I mean do I really have to have a reason for everything I do?

What bugs me the most is whenever I get in one of those moods and just want to do something for the heck of it, somebody comes along to ask me why. I tell you I don’t know how I get so darn lucky in that regard, but honestly it is like somebody painted a big sign on my butt saying, “Ask me stupid questions so you can keep me from having fun and bore the crap out of me.”

The person will stand there with his or her arms folded across his chest and look at me and ask, “Why are you doing that?” Like he is some kind of fun inspector checking to see if I have a license or something to enjoy myself.

What I’m tempted to do is to use my bat to answer by basically bashing in his brains for being such a jerk and acting so snotty. But then I think better of it, which is also inspired by that regrettable incident that happen the other time that my lawyer told me not discuss tell after the till and I just reply “Why not?”

Now you would think that would be enough of an answer. It should be, but never seems to work. Instead I get the person saying like “that’s not an answer.”

Again I want to say something like “It ain’t a question you dumb, dumb, jackass!” Again because of a “conversation” I had that ended with me using my bat that hasn’t been ruled on by the judge yet, I can’t talk about it. So instead I just say, “It’s good enough for me.”

You would think that would be enough to shut up some people. But every once and a while I’ll run into some moron who decides he’s going to give me the benefit of his knowledge. Now I ask you if I sitting in a park somewhere and feeding the birds do I really need a lecture on bird watching or the history of what he calls “aviary” myths, whatever those are.

About the only good thing that happens in those situations is that I have at least found a way to use the bread I am feeding birds in a way to stop those questions. At least when the cops show up and the guy is sitting there with a loaf of bread stuffed in his mouth while laying on the ground unconscious, I can say I thought he looked hungry.

Admittedly, I haven’t talked to my lawyer yet to find out if using a loaf of bread instead of a bat is considered less of a reason for a court case. Guess I better check with him before I have to talk to the judge on the bread thing. I wonder if he’ll ask me why too? I hope not.