THUMBS, SCUM AND NUMB

One thing I have learned from being a grimefighter is how scum on your thumb ain’t cool if you don’t get rid of it right away. If you get busy and don’t get to wash you hands right a way it can make your hand numb trying to clean it later.

That ought to be pretty obvious, even if you aren’t a trained professional at something like grimefighting. Like they say, “cleanliness is next to godliness.” I’m not sure if that means “dirtiness is next to deviliness,” but I reckon it sort of fits.

Anyway I know that even the government takes this whole deal serious. That because I see those signs in public restrooms about how all employees have to wash their hands before returning to work.

They don’t really say, though, anything about how they know if you don’t wash your hands or what happens to you if you don’t. I think if they had asked me I could have fixed that part. I would have simply added, wash that scum off your thumb or I’ll be you till your blind and dumb. I think that would do it.

Now over where I work at STINK we don’t make a big deal about washing your hands. That’s because we make sure you never forget it by making you deal with lots of grimy stuff to the point you want to get clean.

It is amazing how making some clown spend lots of time handling garbage or dirty diapers will affect his attitude. Why some of the rookies will spend a real long time in the bathroom after coming back off of some trash route.

I know though that if they road with the one grimefighter, “Smelly Belly Buford Bugspud” they will no doubt wash more than their hands. Old Smelly Belly is a reformed griminal only sometimes he kind of has this problem with a relapse.

Believe me when he does you don’t want to be downwind from him. That can literally bring tears to your eyes. I know because I’ve had that experience.

But outside of him the rest of us are generally pretty good at this washing and scum thing. Makes me sort of proud when we can really practice what we preach.

Okay I guess we don’t do much in the way of preaching. That is the Reverend Analbe’s department.

I’ve never asked him about the hand washing thing. He seems mainly hung up on dunking the whole body with your clothes on. I think they call it being baptized. Well I guess that ain’t all bad when you consider how doing it does take the place of having to take a bath and wash you clothes to. So maybe it ain’t all such a crazy idea.

In the meantime, we do our best to keep teaching folks all about making washing your hands a priority. And especially if you have to pee, which kind of can be a priority after you get real thirsty too.