A HOLE IN SOME

If there is one night I don't look forward to it is the last Saturday of the month. That is the one that my buddy Otis sets aside so we can fix things like holes in our socks.

Now don't get me wrong, darning socks ain't that big a deal. I mean no sense getting rid of a cool part of socks just because of a hole. But how come that Saturday is the only one that we end up having to do this on?

I tried asking Otis once, but when he decides something and there is no way to reason with him then asking him to explain is a really bad idea. That's because by the time he gets finished explaining, which can take an hour by the time he adds in all the junk he calls metaphors and philosophy. I call those things ways of wasting time. Because you can be darn sure before he is done it will be too late to do anything else.

Anyway I have gotten past the part of trying to argue with him over fixing hole night. And I have even gotten the hang of using a needle and thread in a way so I don't poke lots of holes in my fingers. Now that was a pain in more than one way let me tell you that much.

The only thing is that our socks don't always have holes that need fixing every Saturday. Now don't tell Otis, but one way I figured to get around his wanting to use that day for darning socks was to be sure I stuck my socks with holes in them into the wash before he found them.

I wish I could say that fixed the problem. But it didn't. Now Otis has this deal about holes in general. So we have to do stuff like checking our underwear for holes. Yeah that is exciting.

At least he hasn't' started making us darn those underwear. Although he has managed to make us check pants and shirts at this point.

Now for me personally it shouldn't count as a hole if it isn't where somebody can see it. I mean if you have one in your shirt's armpit then what's the big deal? You just don't raise your arm while wearing that shirt.

And with pants, well if you have it near the waste just leave your shirt out and cover it up. That sure is a lot simpler than this business of sewing the hole.

However like I said it doesn't pay to argue with Otis over that kind of thing. At least I did get him to agree that it was okay to have some donuts while we did the sewing business since they do have holes in them. Guess he figured if stuffing my mouth with a donut kept me from griping about sewing up holes it was a good thing.

So for now I put up with the hole stuff in terms of socks and pants and junk. The one big worry I have is if he decides to sew up that hole he claims I have in my head. That ain't going to be fun or without pain I can imagine.

Thought for the week: “If your wish doesn't come true then shouldn't a wishing well be called a wishing bad?”