FUN, SUN AND IN A BUN

I got to go to the beach the other day. And I must say I did have fun. Although two things sort of kept me from having quite as much fun as I might have otherwise.

The first was the sun. Now some people who think looking like a beet is a good thing might not might some hot sun burning them to a crisp, but not me. I mean if God intended us to look like strawberry he wouldn’t have invented beanies. So why mess with a good thing?

The other thing that bugs me is the stupid ocean. What’s the deal with getting all wet in water that you can even drink? Does the salt help in some way I don’t know about?

Plus in case those morons who are paddling around don’t know the ocean is home to some pretty scary monsters. There are sharks like that Great Wipe Shark. It’s the one when it catches you it really wipes you out. Who thinks this is fun?

If that wasn’t enough to worry about there are also those darn dudes on that submarine I saw in the movies called 20000 Leaps Under the Sea. Man that head dude named Captian Knee-dough (makes me wonder if he got’s a brother who makes that Play-dough stuff?) Anyway he went tooling around under water in that submarine he called the Naughty-ellis. You know I watched that whole movie and never once saw that jerk ellis. So I don’t know what made him so naughty or why you would name a boat after him.

Oh well like I said beside them sharks you got to worry about that nut floating around in his submarine and waiting to sneak up and attack you when you aren’t looking. He sounds like the kind of jerk who would love to come up behind you and pull you swimming trunks off so it would embarrass the heck out you.

There are other things in the sea like icebergs and whales and stuff that you never know what it will do. Only that if you go in the water it is like painting a bull’s eye on your butt and saying come and get me. And let me tell you any whale who is out there paddling around and pushing some ice berg so it can make a snow ball and smack you in the head when you aren’t looking isn’t going to get a chance with me.

Nope for me the beach is the safe place. And sitting there under some big umbrella munching on a bunch of hot dogs and buns works for me. Well sort of. It does get kind of tricky trying to hold that umbrella with one hand and eat the hot dogs with the other. I did try holding it with my teeth and that freed up both hands, but it sure didn’t give me a chance to eat much.

In any case here’s hoping whether you decide to go splashing around or just sit on the beach and gobble down hot dogs that you have a good time at time. I know I did. And next time I will definitely know better than to think some Styrofoam ice chest is really a giant marshmallow. That is definitely important to remember when trying to roast marshmallows. And also when making Smores. I just that I would throw that in for free in case you were interested.