BY INVITATION ONLY

I hate seeing this stuff on things like little pieces of paper telling you that you get to attend some big fancy shin-dig. And if you don’t get one it means, sorry pal, but we think you are a creep and don’t deserve to join our party. Is that insulting or what?

It is as if this invitation thing means you are special by the person’s opinion even if you are a jerk. I suppose that is a good thing for some people. I just think it is acting like a snob and that sucks.

Plus these invitations always have that thing at the bottom about please “RSVP.” Well I’m not sure what that all is suppose to me, but I reckon it is some kind of important code. Like an invitation club you belong too. I figure it must be a club since it is on all those invitation only things. Which to me suggest there is a secret organization you can join and the RSVP probably stands for something such as “Real Special Valuable Person.” Aren’t you proud that I figured that out all by myself.

Heck the thing is to me I figure who is more real special and valuable than a super hero? So I’m a little pissed that so far I haven’t been given a chance to joined one of those clubs.

Then I thought that well maybe the reason I hadn’t been contacted is because I might be gone from my apartment when the dude showed up to tell me I could become a member. You know being a garbage man I am generally gone in the mornings so they might have stopped by without me knowing.

So I thought well shoot perhaps to save them some trouble of wondering if I would be willing to join what I would do is try and let them know I was cool about becoming a member. That way it would encourage them to sort of hurry about making me a member.

What I did was to wait till I found a place that was having one of those “by invitation only deals.” Then I could maybe you know drop by and just show them I was wise to the joining the secret group thing. That way it would make it easy for them to cut through the crap and give me a chance to get started with the RSVP thing and then get some invitations.

Anyway they were having one of those by invitation things over at this place called a country club. Not sure why it is called that since it isn’t in the country and I didn’t see any clubs lying around.

But I didn’t let that stop me. I showed up when they were having that big event just to let them know I was cool about waiting to hear on the RSVP thing. And I’m happy to report that I was able to get their attention. Next time I might want to consider renting one of those tuxes I guess. Because they sure didn’t appreciate my being dressed in my garbage man outfit, especially the one I was wearing from picking up trash all day and hadn’t had a chance to change. I keep forgetting not everyone gets a chance to wear such cool outfits. So all I’m doing now is waiting to hear from them. I imagine it shouldn’t be too long either since they were kind of enough to have those two guys in security guards give me wrestling lessons during that by invitation only deal.