A HELPING STAND

Well as they say, only in this case maybe they don’t say this, but there are ladders and then there are ladders. And there are some pretty strange things that a person can say about a ladder as far as I’m concerned.

Like that part about how it is bad luck to walk underneath a ladder. Who made that rule up? Does that mean there is some kind of ladder god that will zap you for offending him if you dare walk under a ladder? Does it matter if the ladder is opened and standing up or say lying against the wall? Nobody ever seems to get around to explaining that part.

Beyond that part there are a few other things we know about ladders. One of them is that if you use ladder and happen to work as a fireman you got to have some kind of hook. Because I hear them talk about the hook and ladder when mentioning ladders in connection to fireman. Perhaps the hook is so the fireman and hook something to hold onto in case he happen to slip while on a ladder. That would be pretty smart.

And I reckon that ladders must be pretty darn important to people who believe in the bible and God. Because I heard the Reverend Analbe talking once about how this fella named Jacob had something to do with a ladder. He called it Jacob’s ladder. Guess that guy was a big fan of ladders because he supposedly dreamt about them. Boy that sure must have been some ladder if it was fancy enough that he dreamt about it. Never heard how talk it was. So I can say whether it was just like a ladder you use to get something off a shelf that is out of reach or one that you use to say climb on the roof of a house. Too bad they never get around to telling about those things.

In any case the other place where ladders are apparently important is with big corporations. You have to like climb them as part of working for some corporation. Makes we wonder how come they don’t figure a way to put stuff on lower shelves so they don’t have to use a ladder as much. Plus they never mention coming down the corporate ladder just climbing it. Now surely those dudes that spend their time climbing some ladder have to be willing to come down off of it sooner or later. Hmmm, I wonder if you get stuck up there when you should have gotten down is where they talk about “overtime” on account of that is when you are over the time you are suppose to be on that ladder?

Now being a grimefighter and super hero type I have to admit that I don’t have the opportunity to spend any time checking out the ladders at any corporation. We got a few of those corporations with big buildings in our city, but I’ve never seen anybody climbing any ladders around them. So that means I guess that they must use them only inside.

I suppose that would make sense if the ladder was something special. However I get the impression that they also are because they have a bunch of short people working there. That’s because my buddy Otis mentioned once how climbing a corporate ladder meant you had to sometimes step on the little people. Sounds kind of stupid and mean to me, but I guess it must work for those same people who thinking you look best wearing a suit. Life to me has enough problems, I sure don’t want to have to wear a stupid old stuffy suit and then get all sweaty climbing some ladder. Some people’s idea of fun is sure weird.