AN ONION OF A TIME

I can’t speak for anybody else on this subject, but I know what this means to me. Okay I appreciate how my buddy claims that I do try to speak for others. But heck anybody has a right at least once to give a shot at being one of those ventriloquist dudes.

I sort of ran into trouble with what I called technical problems. At least it was to me. That’s because I understood a ventriloquist is suppose to be able to do what they call “throwing your voice.” Only I could never get the hang of throwing anybody’s voice. I just got frustrated and tried to throw the person instead.

The one thing I learned from that is people aren’t too happy with the idea of you throwing them instead of their voice if it means you tie them to the bumper of a car. Heck I just couldn’t succeed in tossing anybody very far so when I clobbered them with a bat and then tied them to the bumper of a car I thought it would work. Well their voice did get tossed or perhaps dragged might be a better way of saying it. The point is that it did move, along with all the rest of their bodies. Only I don’t recall anybody thinking it was funny or entertaining.

In any event that subject would probably best to finish explaining in another blog. At least until after the judge makes his decision on whether my idea of ventriloquism was good or bad.

Now basically getting back to the thing about an onion of a time that to me is when something is so cool and so fun that it literally brings tears to your eyes. Yeah that good.

The big problem is you can’t really call it an onion of a time till after you had it. That’s because one person’s idea of an onion might not be the same or smell the same as somebody else. I wish it were different. You know like you can go to a grocery store and when you see an onion you can say, “yep that is an onion alright.”

However a fun kind of onion it is a lot tougher. Oh it might look like the of good time that would bring tears to my eyes, but with some people they just can’t tell an onion no matter how it smells.

Okay so for the benefit of those of you who don’t know what a really cool onion of a time might be like, I’ll just give you a taste. That’s what I’ll give you, but if you want more you’ll have to do get it on your own.

And the top onion of a time on my list would probably be any one that somehow involved jelly beans. Now be fair here. I haven’t been one to make jelly beans the cure for everything in life. Just the most important stuff.

As I see it all you need to do then is just keep the jelly bean thing in mind. Of course if for some reason you’re still a little fuzzy on how jelly beans can be an onion then just eat a few and I’m sure you’ll figure it out. If that don’t work, then send them to me and I’ll do what I can to explain it to you after I eat them.