MUSCLE CARS

Somebody over at this restaurant my buddy Otis and I go to was talking about this. Frankly I figured he had to be a little off since I saw the car he was talking about and I didn’t see any muscles on it anywhere. You know I figured it would at least look like one of those dudes who is all blown up with bulging muscles. But it just looked like a plain old car to me.

Anyway this dude was bragging about how this car had all kinds of horses under the hood. I guess he must have been drinking something that make you think funny since I didn’t see any horses anywhere.

Then he started talking about a whole bunch of stuff having to do with the motor I guess. Like having a motor was the same as having muscles.

I got to admit that I sort of felt sorry for him though. I mean this car didn’t look all that new. So I think he probably got suckered in by some smooth talking car salesman into believing that this car was a big deal when it was just a car.

Well I sure didn’t want to hurt his feelings or insult him for allowing somebody to convince a car could have muscles. I reckon if it made him happy to believe a car was human enough to have muscles then it was okay by me.

I sort of figure it was a little like that program I saw on that cable channel that shows reruns of old sitcoms. They had this one about a guy whose mother was a car.

So I decided that perhaps you know this dude maybe saw that program and thought if it worked to the guy in the television then it would work for him. I hated to tell him that it didn’t though.

I just sat there with my buddy Otis and ate our food and tried not to snicker too much when this dude was bragging on his muscle car that didn’t have any muscle. You know he seemed to be enjoying himself so much I just didn’t want to ruin his fun.

But I couldn’t help wanting to help him out a little. I thought that perhaps I could do something to make the car run better or be more powerful so even though it didn’t have muscle it would seem strong.

What I did was when Otis was up paying the bill and this guy was in the bathroom and snuck out and put some sugar in the gas tank. I figured sugar is great for energy so if anything helped it would be sugar.

Well Otis came back to the table and we sat there while they guy left. And then we finally got around and took off.

The thing was when we were on the way home I noticed this guy in his car and parking along the side of the road with the hood up. I guess this muscle car must have strained something. Gee maybe I should have used more sugar? Perhaps next time.