RAISING YOUR HANDS

How come people have to raise their hands for stupid stuff? Like when you are in school and you have to raise you hand to take a leak. It ain’t hand that needs help at that time. But I reckon if you were to raise the part of your body that did need relief you could get into big trouble.

Then there is the part about raising your hand to ask question. What’s the deal with that? You can’t just say I got a question. Is the teacher deaf or something?

And if you get stopped by the police don’t they tell you to put your hands in the air? Or what if some bad guy tries to rob you don’t he tell you to put your hands in the air?

It is just me here or does this seem like somebody is sending out a confusing message. I mean if you lump teachers, cops and bad guys together isn’t that a risk somebody will think they all work together in some way? That’s just a thought mind you. But I think it is worth considering.

At first I sort of decided that perhaps this was some kind of tradition started by people who sell underarm deodorant. I mean if they get us all to have to raise are arms enough time then we will go a little weird about the sweat stains and make sure we buy extra deodorant.

Then I thought about it some more and figured that while that might be true and I ain’t ruling it out, that there might be some other reason that I didn’t think of it. But rather than try to strain my brain doing that much thinking I decided that perhaps coming up with an alternative to make this whole hand raising thing less important might be a good choice.

So here is what I think would be a good idea. For starters you let the cops keep the part about raising hands. After all they do carry guns and if it is one thing I know it isn’t a good idea to piss somebody off that is holding a gun. Plus since they can also arrest you even if they don’t shoot you then there is no reason to get on their bad side.

As for teachers. Well I don’t know, but perhaps if we had something like scratching your ears instead of raising hands it would work. I reckon that would work. Providing you ain’t got any waxing crude in your ears that rubs off on your fingers or something. That might gross out a teacher and mean a trip to the principle.

Now with those darn bad guys, well I think picking your nose would be okay. After all their big concern has to be that you ain’t got a knife or gun to use on them right? Well if you got some gunk from your nose on your fingers then I doubt you’d be likely to have a chance to grab a gun or something.

Although I’m not sure that you can convince those bad guys to shout out “this is a stick up, pick your nose!” I guess it doesn’t have quite the same ring as raise your hands. Well maybe with practice who knows?