EXCEPT FOR THE GRACE OF...

Yep you sure don’t have a very good meal without the saying grace first part. Well that is if you decide to go over to Granny Potts for dinner. She a real big one for making sure you always thank the lord and ask him to bless whatever you are eating.

The only thing you have to watch out is when Granny Potts says grace that she doesn’t nod off in the process. Although I can sort of tell because she’ll stop talking and start snoring. However the big problem is waking her up. If you do it wrong she forgets what happens and starts saying grace all over again, which can be real confusing.

Of course that ain’t half as bad as when she invites some of the friends from her bridge club to join us. Man there is this one lady who I wish would fall asleep, but instead she just end up rambling.

There was this one time that she asked her friend to say grace and jeez, I didn’t think she was ever going to finish. First she started out with all the usual thank you business. But afterwards she started talking about stuff like darning socks, sewing and whether coloring Easter eggs is addictive. I don’t know it didn’t make much sense, but at least she eventually got to saying Amen.

Course by then dinner was unbelievably cold. However I did eat it. Even though I found biting into a biscuit that was practically as hard as a rock kind of hard to chew.

Still I don’t mind putting up with that stuff some times. About the only time I have trouble is when she invites the Reverend Analbe over to dinner. I mean the one thing you don’t want to do is ask him to say grace.

Seeing how he’s on personal speaking terms with God and all I hate to do any complaining, but he sure gets way to long winded in his grace stuff. Don’t get me wrong I don’t mind giving thanks or anything. But I’m not sure you have to thank God for literally everything he ever created in that one moment.

Now I also don’t want to accuse the Reverend of sort of cheating on this grace thing either, but I did notice the last time he was saying grace and we all had our eyes closed there was a few minutes there when he talked like he had food in his mouth. Then when we opened our eyes I could have sworn he had biscuit crumbs on his chin. Plus I noticed there were spoon marks on the mashed potatoes.

I just wished Granny Potts would sort of warn me when she decides to invite him over so I could maybe prepare myself for him joining us. Maybe if he showed up on time that would be different, but that doesn’t happen either. The only way I happened to even know he’s going to be there is when I hear him step on the porch talking really loud with God and saying praise the Lord and what’s that God a lot.

If Granny Potts wasn’t such a good cook I probably wouldn’t keep joining her from time to time. I suppose seeing how she can’t see that well and thinks I’m really her grandson I ought to admit that I’m really me and not him. But then every time I do get around to deciding to do that she sets out that pie and I tell myself next time.