THE WAY TO THE MOON

Okay I don’t want any wise guy remarks about something like “up.” I don’t need that type of help.

And that’s because that ain’t the type of moon I’m talking about. So there! What am I talking about? I’m talking about the type of moon you and an “ing” to. Yeah I’m talking about mooning.

So if you were looking for some posting about the stars or universe, forget it. I don’t want to waste time talking about something that you can just go outside and look at and know it is there without my help. What am I suppose to tell you that you can’t figure out for yourself? I mean if you need help talking to the man in the moon who runs that store where he sells green cheese to that cow who keeps jumping over the moon I will. But do you really need me to say much?

Nope I figure that the moon is doing fine without my help. It ain’t going anywhere and so you sure don’t need me to talk about it as far as I’m concerned.

Which is why I wanted to talk about the more important kind of mooning. The type that anybody with a naked butt can try. And since that takes practice to get it right and I’ve had a far amount of practice I figured that perhaps I might pass on a few helpful tips.

Now my first tip is that make sure if you are going to do any mooning you can unzip your pants. There ain’t nothing more discouraging than to plan out a good mooning and then discover at the last minute that your zipper is broke or stuck. It can totally ruin the experience.

The second tip I want to suggest here is to make sure that you are in a place where the “moonie” or person you are mooning can’t hit you. I tell you if you are sitting with your butt hanging out of some car window and too close to the dude, well it can be really a pain in the ass, literally if you aren’t careful.

The other thing I suggest is that you make sure you avoid trying any mooning if you are just getting over something like diarrhea. I mean the last thing you need while mooning is to have an “accident!”

Now only will you gross out somebody other than the person you are intending to moon, but you can be darn sure the dude who owns the car that you are sticking you butt out of will get pissed. Plus if you get stuck cleaning it up that can be really crappy (no pun intended).

So if you just follow these helpful little tips you can be promised of avoiding any of the risks to this practice that might end in a few regrets later. Believe me I can share these from personal experience. I only wished somebody had saved me having to learn them the hard way. But then I wouldn’t be able to do the same for somebody else and that is a good thing I guess. Happy “moon shots” one and all!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "There is a difference between being wise and being a wise ass. The latter not only pissed you off, but stinks too!"