EMERGENCY EXITS

Alright I want to tell you that these things can be down right dangerous if you are not careful. And the thing that really bugs me is how come you need and exit for an emergency anyway? What happens if you have a emergency such as a bladder emergency and there isn’t an emergency exit around? I bet you never thought of that did you?
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Well I don’t care what they do to me. If I got to pee and there ain’t any emergency exit around I’m going to use the bathroom.

In fact the other day you know I was in this department store and my kidneys started screaming about needing attention. That was sure an emergency in my book.

And lucky me they did have this nice emergency exit over near the one wall. So I figure, hey that was one emergency that sure qualified because I sure didn’t want to embarrass myself by leaving any puddle in the middle of the carpet.

I went over and opened that door and I want to tell you those people who worked there were sure nasty about that. It was like they had never seen a dude with a need to pee before. I’m telling you they were just down right unreasonable.

Plus the moment I opened it there was this alarm that went off. Man that was like screaming to the world that I needed to take a leak. And who in the world needed that kind of attention when you got to pee? Not me that’s for sure.
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The other thing that really pissed me off was that there wasn’t even a darn decent place to take a leak when I did open that emergency exit door. What the heck good does it do to have any emergency exit if you have an emergency and can’t find a place to pee?

That was exactly my question I asked them too. Seems like a fair thing for them to have to answer.

But they didn’t seem to think so. In fact they had these two really big security guards who decided that instead of explaining my question they wanted to wrestle. Only they got kind of crappy about it and wanted to cheat by using these night sticks to win.

Only I didn’t buy into that one. Fortunately I was next to the sporting goods department and since I didn’t have my bat with me I was able to borrow one from the rack of them they had in the corner. I guess borrowing don’t count when I broke it in half by trying to reason with that one security guard and ended up whacking him one too many times on the head.

In any case, I reckon I won’t waste any more time going back to that store if they are going to get so snooty about using their emergency exit for a bladder emergency and them not wanting to let you do it. From now on I think I’ll stick to going to the mall. At least there they got lots of stores with emergency exits and I bet if I check all of them long enough I’ll find one with a decent toilet behind one of the emergency doors!