SWELL

I would truly love hearing that word if it always meant something good was going to happen. But swell to one person just don’t mean the same as it does to somebody else. So you sure got to be careful when you hear this word that you know what is somebody else’s idea of swell.

Now take where I work over at STINK. If one of the other grimefigther dudes uses the word swell then I generally know it is probably something that is cool. I can pretty much figure I’ll think whatever it is will be cool too.

I hate to confess it though that the one exception is my buddy Otis. Most of the time his idea of swell is just like any other grimefighter. Those are his sane moments from my point of view.

But then there are those “other” moments when he gets in some weird mood where swell is some kind of strange junk involving books without pictures or classical music or whatever that I wouldn’t think is swell. That is when I have to listen real, real careful. Because if the word “art museum” or “opera” or even “library” comes out of his mouth along with swell I know I’m in trouble.

At least my buddy isn’t prone to use the word swell a lot. So that keeps the potential “groaning” possibilities in dealing with him to a minimum and for that I am grateful.

There are others at STINK that I do also have trouble with when they use the word swell. Like Truly Grimy. I mean you can be darn sure if she uses the word it means she’s whipped a new batch of some disgusting gut burning stuff and thinks it is great. And that only means one thing, find somewhere to hide till she gets somebody else to eat it.

And then there is Ramy Jarvis, STINK’s ninety-five year old janitor. Now that poor guy has an idea that anything swell has somehow something to do with stewed prunes. I just smile and head the other way when he starts using that word.

What mention of this word from me would be complete without talking about good old rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin. With him there is nothing in the world as good or swell or whatever that doesn’t involve cheese. I don’t think I would even mind you know if his idea of swell in terms of cheese meant he wanted to share it. But for him swell just means he gets a chance to eat all the cheese for himself and let me tell you that is sure boring to me.

Well that pretty much covers the subject of swell at STINK except for our boss, Dr. Hemoglobin. And with him the one thing you can be sure of is that if he uses the word swell it is going to mean extra work. Not for him naturally, but for the rest of us just watch out! Because if he happens to smile when he uses the word then I know we are really in big trouble.

Funny how just one little word means so many things to so many people. But hopefully when they use it that ends up not being other than funny for everyone else!