WHEN MORE ISN'T A CUFF

I hate wearing suits. And most of the time I manage to avoid them. To me I guess I figure if we were meant to wear suits then God would have created us with holes in our wrists for cuff links.

Well my buddy Otis is always talking about what God would have do differently if he meant us to do something so I figured I would through that in for the heck of it. But the main thing I guess is that I make it clear that wearing suits ain’t my idea of a good time.

Fortunately the only two times I normally get stuck wearing a suit is when we go to Reverend Analbe’s church on Sunday and then to a funeral. I’ve never been quite sure if God sees us all the time why you got to go to his place wearing a suit when he don’t see you wear one the rest of the time?

But that is just me I guess. Otis never answers that question when I ask him. He just grunts and hands me my tie and says to hurry up and get dressed.

Anyway the think is what I do enjoy is when we get to do something fancy and it don’t involve cuff links. That is really cool. It doesn’t happen very often, but sometimes I luck out.

Then there are the “close” calls. Those are the one’s where Otis gets a call and tells me we have to go somewhere special and then he all of sudden asks when the last time was that I had my suit dry cleaned?

Boy do I hate when he asks that question because it almost always means it is going to get cleaned and also that I’m going to have to wear it. So I generally try to tell him that it wasn’t that long ago and try to think of some lame excuse why I can’t wear it. The last one about being worried about catching thread warts didn’t even work for me, but it was the best I could come up with being so panicked and all.

The good news was that the last time Otis asked me about the dry cleaner thing it turned out he wasn’t asking so I would end up wearing the suit. It was because he had a discount coupon for the dry cleaners.

Did you happen to hear my say “whew” when he mentioned that? If so I wouldn’t be surprised since I sure said it loud enough.

As for Otis, well he just looked at me and smiled. Then he mentioned that there was this new restaurant we were going to that night. Man was I excited. That was until he mentioned you had to wear a suit to eat there.

I guess it was a good thing you didn’t hear me after he said that because it wasn’t exactly and “oh boy” I mentioned. Well my buddy let me stew over that for a few minutes before breaking into one of his just kidding grins. I got to tell you sometimes his idea of humor hardly leaves me laughing. But not having to wear a suit did. And I guess that was more important huh?