SHIPS COMING IN

Well some people talk about this like it is going to really happen. Only I don’t know how that is going to work if you don’t live near an ocean.

And perhaps if you are lucky enough to live next to some really big river it might work. But we don’t live near one of them either. We do have a couple of lakes around and one lets you put row boats on it. Only I don’t think that will help.

The thing is the people I hear say this make it sound like it is a real big deal. As if all their problems will suddenly go away if this ship does come in.

Personally I ain’t to crazy about the sea. First of all I saw movies like “The Titanic” and “The Poseidon Adventure” and let me tell having that big thing sink on me and me drowning ain’t my idea of a good thing.

Plus I also saw those darn shark movies. I sure don’t want to risk being some snack for one of them either.

Now maybe all those dudes who talk about this being a good thing haven’t really thought it through very well. I mean if all of that isn’t enough to worry about then how about the stuff where you don’t know if the captain is sane. You just get on that stupid boat and he sails off and maybe the whole time he’s thinking he’s going to the moon or some other dumb place you can’t get to. Then the next thing you end up shipwrecked on some island like those poor folks in that Television series. Yeah I saw it too. Only you end up on some island where the natives are all cannibals and their idea of guess who is coming to dinner is a whole lot different than the kind you would like. And let me tell you there is no way I want to be the main course at any meal.

Plus if I understand the Reverend Analbe correctly going on a boat ain’t exactly something God is crazy about either. He was talking about this dude name Jonah the other day and how the guy was on this boat and it started having big problems and eventually he got tossed off and swallowed by a whale.

Does anybody want to tell me that would be a good thing? Hmmm I wonder if you would get a refund from the boat people for something like that? Well I for one don’t intend to find out. I plan on standing on the ground. That way if them stupid sharks do go out for a snack from some ship that ain’t suppose to sink, but does because the guy driving it can’t pay attention to some big iceberg then I’ll still be safe.

As for all those guys who are waiting for this ship to come in, well I wish them luck. They can even have my ticket if the time comes.

However I got a feeling they ain’t necessarily going to enjoy all the waiting. And besides it seems like you could pretty much get the other junk you want from life without the need of any ship. It just takes a little luck, a lot of work and a little help from people like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "You're never too old, unless your name is on a headstone. Then you are a lot older than you think!"