UNDER THE YUM, YUM FREE

For me there is nothing cooler than free samples. Of course I’m speaking of free stuff to eat. Other kinds of free samples can be okay, but I don’t know they just don’t do it for me the same as getting something for my tummy for nothing.

The big problem is so often they don’t put up a sign that says, “limit one to a customer.” And that to me is false advertising. Well I consider it that way when they don’t explain up front that you can’t just enjoy the free samples as much as possible. But let me tell you with some places if they have a plate of whatever out for you to try they sure give you the evil eye if you like take the whole plate. They don’t say you can’t.

Now if the free sample is something really great I try to get creative on this thing. I mean shoot free is well, free and that is a bargain any way you look at it.

So what I do is go in and take a free sample. Then I leave and come back later and hope they don’t remember I was just there. I do have admit that sometimes I maybe hurry too much. That’s when I don’t pay attention to the time like I should and then when I think it has been maybe an hour it only turns out to be like thirty seconds.

Believe me the look on the clerk’s face sure tells me that I didn’t guess the time right. So sometimes I have to pretend that I forgot something before casually trying to have another free sample.

The best situation is when they are really, really busy. Then the clerk will most likely not pay attention to you helping yourself to extra free samples. And if you happen to know when the help change shifts shoot you really can luck out.

One other option is to go in and buy something. They don’t seem to get too upset if you take extra free samples if you are paying for something else.

But in some cases it doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of difference. Those are the situations where they know you too well and then you can fake being a first time customer. And I guess trying to claim I got five brothers that look just like me doesn’t work either.

The good news is that I have found certain ways to get around that problem. Like wearing a mask. Or claiming to have food amnesia. Or even claiming to have some incurable and terminal disease and how getting a free sample of their whatever is the only way to dry happy. Hey those might seem kind of lame, but let me tell you free is darn worth it!

I only wish I hadn’t ended up going into the candy store that often. It really gets tough to come up with a good excuse to visit and get some free samples when I go in there too often.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up though. I’m still toying with a good animal costume I can rent that I can wear into some candy store. I just haven’t decided whether being a talking gorilla or talking bunny will impress them the most. Guess I’ll find out in due time.