CUCUMBERS, COCONUTS AND STAPLES

Oh man, oh man, oh man, is this posting about one heck of a nightmare. Well I guess it really can’t be called a nightmare since I wasn’t dreaming. I mean this more in terms of a mess I got involved with over at STINK the other day.

Our boss Dr. Hemoglobin decided it would be a good idea if we, meaning the grimefightes as in Otis and myself mainly, should try our hand at fixing lunch. Shoot it hardly seemed like a tough chore, but I know he wanted us to do it in order to get even for us having everyone protest that crap he let Truly Grimey try to feed us.

You would think after all this time and as many people that have gotten down right sick eating that stuff she calls food that he would have known better than give her another chance. But NO, not him. When she had this so-called inspiration in terms of lunch he made us sit down and let her serve it to us.

My question is, “since when are donuts suppose to have legs? Or move?” I didn’t think the answer was sometimes. But Truly apparently does.

Before we actually stuffed them critters in our mouths though my buddy Otis got Truly to admit that she had made those things while also taking care of her ant farm. And after she confessed that for some reason all the ants disappeared about the time she started whipping up the donut batter, that sure ended my appetite.

Only it does get worse. It turns out that she didn’t use ants in her ant farm. She has managed to lose them and thought cockroaches were a good replacement. Are you getting the picture yet? Does oh my god sound about right?

Well at least we did manage to get her to understand that using icing to cover over the moving part on those donuts didn’t solve the problem. I’m not sure what we will do the next time she decides to fix donuts, but I know if it starts walking forget having me eat it.

Anyway after that whole mess Dr. Hemoglobin decided we should volunteer to fix lunch. And well Otis is generally the cook at our apartment. So I thought I would just maybe choose to do the serving part and let him worry about the fixing part.

Only he decide I should help. And there he had all this stuff that I am not use to seeing like cucumbers and coconut that is still in a shell. Man is that ugly looking or what.

The thing is he asked me to take the coconut and crack it open and then cut the skin off the cucumber. But I sort of got them confused and tried to smash the cucumber and then remove the shell from the coconut. I guess I didn’t do that good of a job because all I ended up with was one really big mess.

But it sort of looked like something I could fix. All I needed was something to just sort of make it stick together. That is what I thought the staples would do. I figured they would melt when Otis put those cucumbers and coconuts in the oven as part of his casserole. At least I learned that staples don’t melt. And the nice thing I don’t think Dr. Hemoglobin will bother asking us to do that again. I guess I’ll have to wait till he gets back from seeing the dentist to have those staples removed to be sure though.

THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: "Better to grow flowers than have them thrown at you in a pot!"