BREAD AND BUTTER

I saw some old movie and they kept saying this when this couple were walking and holding hands and had to separate like when passing on different sides of a tree. Now I ask you what in the world has any dumb tree got to do with bread or butter.

I do realize that there are sure a lot of dumb things people find a reason to say. And I confess I’ve managed to repeat plenty of them. Plus I’ve even made up a few too I suppose. But fair is fair if people are going to say stupid junk and others think it cool then I guess I’m going to get stuck saying them too in order to be cool.

That’s my way of excusing why I come up with dumb crap at times. With my buddy Otis he always tries to claim it is his effort to prove a point. The only thing is he never quite gets around to explaining what the point is he’s making. I think he just says that so he doesn’t have to admit that he’s fibbing about some saying he is making up.

And believe me there are times when he gets in some stupid mood like having one of those crazed needs in the middle of the night for a hunk of spam. So what he will do when he wakes me up to go with him to the all night grocery store is come up with some saying he claims is the reason we got to go shopping in the middle of the night. Only it always ends up with us just shopping for spam.

I just do my best to pretend I believe his stupid saying and I guess I’m glad he hasn’t ever used that bread and butter one. Although I don’t think I would mind if he used it when we were at the store and he actually bought bread and butter instead of spam in the middle of the night. At least I could have some toast when I got home. But I doubt that will happen.

Of course Otis ain’t the only one who comes up with crazy sayings. Over at STINK that old rat boy, Junior Hemoglobin, sure does his best to give us some sayings that are total stupid in my opinion.

It was like the other day when he had us all on alert. And man let me tell you at five am even I know all the griminals are sane enough to be asleep. Well he wanted us on patrol just the same. Of course his idea of a patrol was to have us check out this one all night grocery store. And you guess it he expected us to check out the cheese section and bring back as much as possible as “evidence.”

The silly saying he came up with for that one was that the early bird (which he claimed was symbolic for grimefighters flying in their spirit to victory) catches the worm (which he claimed was in reality a bad translation and should be germ and he claimed that actually meant cheese as in gouda.) Boy I want to tell you at five am I was still half asleep and so I could have cared less if the stupid cheese had worms because all I wanted to do is get it over with and get him his stupid cheese so I could take a nap.

I did survive that little dose of insanity. But I got a feeling somebody, either Otis or Junior will come up with some other lame saying. Maybe they’ll give me a break and include something about bread and butter so at least I can get something decent to eat out of the deal.