BEHIND THE EIGHT BALL

Now I can’t figure this one out at all. I mean have you looked at an eight ball? Man those suckers are not that big. So how can you be behind it and be even worried about it. All you got to do is move.

Yet the way the guys at work talk when somebody gets behind an eight ball, shoot it is like the world is coming to an end. And does that honestly make a whole lot of sense?

When I hear junk like that I got to admit it makes me wonder whether those dudes have been exposed to too much cleaning fluid again. We had this one kind at STINK a while back that rat boy Junior Hemoglobin said he got at some yard sale. Why he was wanting to buy a yard I have no idea, but he brought in this cleaning fluid that he said was “industrial strength.” I guess that means if you worked in an industry you were suppose to use this fluid to make you strong or something.

Anyway he wanted us to try it out. Well heck the moment we all smell it I just knew we were in trouble. I mean at STINK we are suppose to work there not have the place literally STINK. Beside what kind of cleaning fluid glows in the dark?

But this time we all were imagining crazy stuff. At least I call it crazy when you imagine a thousand giant, purple lobsters are trying to eat your underwear while singing the Star Spangled Banner. I call that crazy you can call it whatever you want.

The thing is after we all started going a little weird in the head Dr. Hemoglobin sort of retired that cleaning fluid. However after hearing those dudes the other day talking about this eight ball thing it made me wonder if somebody managed to find where he was hiding and dug it out again.

I sure hope not though. Once you’ve seen a thousand giant purple lobsters trying to eat your underwear you don’t really want to do it again.

In the meantime I think I’m going to ask Otis where we can find this eight ball everyone says they have been getting behind. Maybe we could use that cleaning fluid on it. Because it sure was good at cleaning if you don’t mind when you use it that it makes stuff totally dissolve.

I guess it is the least we could do though in terms of helping all the dudes at STINK get out from behind that eight ball wherever it happens to be hiding. The way I figure it there is no reason for them to be stressed out about little black balls when we mess up enough over regular junk to have plenty of reason to worry. So hopefully we can make this eight ball disappear and if not perhaps a whiff of the cleaning fluid will at least let those lobsters take their mind off the eight ball.