TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A BALONEY SANDWICH

I’m sure most people have heard that saying about if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. And let me tell you that might work for some stuff, but not everything. I wish it did.

I think I’ve sort of made sure most folks are aware that I take food real serious. At least in terms of feeding my face. I always want to be sure I don’t mess around and goof up anything I want to put in my stomach.

Now this is one thing where my buddy Otis and I don’t always agree. With me I don’t like to fool around changing the way I fix something to eat. If it taste good then why change it. That is like the old advice about if ain’t broke, don’t mix it. Er I guess that is sticks it. Oh shoot it rhymes with mix somehow. Anyway I think the basic idea if something don’t need changing then leave it alone.

However when it comes to food I’m just happy to know when I decide to eat something it will taste the same as the last time I tried it. There are times though that my buddy gets in these moments of inspiration and decides we need a change in that regard. He talk about how variety is the dice of life. Or something like that. In any case I don’t like gambling in that regard.

And what really bugs me is that Otis knows perfectly well what happens when Truly Grimy ends up trying to get too clever and changing foods. Man that is one gal who could I swear figure a way to make plain old water taste yucky. So you would figure that he would not want to risk the same chance by changing something good that we eat.

Does that influence him in any way? Heck no. Does he learn when he tries something different and it turns out to taste bad? I wish!

I suppose if Otis were just to stick with the foods he truly loves like Spam that would be okay. But he insists upon doing junk to something as yummy as a baloney sandwich. Now I ask you what can be easier to figure out than the way to fix a plain, old baloney sandwich. You got bread, mayonnaise, maybe mustard too if you feel adventurous, baloney of course and perhaps some lettuce if you like vegetables. Plus perhaps some cheese too if you are really daring.

Well that formula seems one that works pretty darn good for me. I enjoy biting into some baloney sandwich and knowing what it is going to taste like. What I don’t want is to bite into is and for one not taste any baloney.

I mean how can it be a baloney sandwich WITHOUT any baloney? That doesn’t seem very hard to figure out for me.

Otis though doesn’t agree. He loves to call it a baloney sandwich even when it uses what he calls a baloney substitute. Shoot man if it don’t taste like meat and lard then it ain’t baloney too me, except in fibbing.

And while I’ll stick with my old faithful version of baloney. I guess I’ll have to tolerate the times Otis gets in one of those moods to change what works. So far it hasn’t and I’m sorry those accidents just will never make my tummy smile as good as the real thing!