ROOTS

Man what is the deal with trees? I mean I can understand how you know they need to be stuck in the ground and all.

Otherwise they would most likely just fall over a lot. And with my luck they would do it when I was walking past them.

But then I guess we don't have to worry about that happening. After all them trees aren't exactly the kinds of things where they do things different much are they?

So you get stuck with them having these roots. Which I wouldn't mind if they just kept them in the ground.

But they are so dang silly about it. You go to cut the grass and there is some root there from a big tree.

Now I ask you what am I suppose to do? Honestly, if I don't get to you know cut the grass then the landlady gets pissed.

And if I try to do it the right way I end up with you know messing up the root then Otis calls me a tree killer. I tell you I just can't win.

It just plain bites no matter what I do. And that is the one thing I am working on fixing. It won't be something I'm going to let get to me.

Now as I see it, there are two things I have to accomplish here. One is to cut the grass an two is to not mess with the root.

To that end I have figured out the perfect solution. Now I got this hose and stuck it in this hole I drilled in the tree's trunk. I heard it needs roots to get a drink of water.

So then I gave it a big drink. Like about an hour. Then I figure it didn't need that root after that, so I cut it out.

Guess it didn't like the water though. Been looking kind of sickly. Maybe I'll try to give it some soda pop.

So far it don't seem to be reacting good to the pop. I tried root beer. I think I will try grape next.

Yeah it is made of fruit so that ought to work. Yep, I bet that will help. And to think Otis didn't figure I would know what to do.

I bet he'll be so surprised when i end up you know showing him how the root beer made that tree feel so good. Yeah, I can't wait to surprise him on that one. Then let's see him complain.